


Why So Clingly?

by Deescent



Series: Fifty Shades of Youngjae [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Confusion, Eventual Smut, Finger Sucking, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Help, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Titles, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Minor Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, Smut is in like the last three chapters, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 72,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15395469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deescent/pseuds/Deescent
Summary: Jinyoung starts becoming really clingy to Mark after Jaebum and Youngjae's relationship kicks off, and Mark has no idea why. All he knows is that he definitely doesn’t like guys... right?(MarkJin spin-off to "Fifty Shades of Youngjae”)AKAUm, Mark is oblivious to all of Jinyoung's advances because hes just dumb I guess lmaoo.Title is subject to change because I think its trash and I'm bad at titling things





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Like I always say when beginning a story, I have no life and my writing is terrible, sorry for any mistakes.

Seeing Youngjae and Jaebum's relationship blossom was cute. It was something that had been obvious from the start, both sides being hesitant and oblivious to the other before finally coming together and accepting their feelings. It was tooth rottingly sweet.

Mark was jealous of it. Seeing them curled up on the couch one day, kissing the next, just playing around cutely some other time, it drove Mark crazy. It had been a long time since he's had something like that, and he was almost disgusted with seeing the newly formed couple be literally all over each other. He was still happy for them, but Mark just couldn't stay in the same room as them while they gave small kisses and tell one another how much they love each other without getting annoyed.

Mark knows its wrong to think that way, but being lonely can make someone bitter. He just couldn't imagine himself having anything like that. That was, until Jinyoung had dropped something on him.

Just after Mark had said something along the lines that falling asleep with Jinyoung meant nothing, Jinyoung responded:

_“Well, it may have not meant anything to you, but for me, well…”_

And that was it. He didn't finish his sentence, he just trailed off and walked away. Mark was left confused yet… curious. What did he mean by that? What was he going to say?

It sounded like maybe Jinyoung thought that their nap sessions together had a deeper meaning. That when they cuddled together on the couch, it wasn't just as friends. Mark really didn't think much more about it. Well, he had thought occasionally that Jinyoung looked cute when he slept, and that his body was so warm and comfortable to snuggle against, but that was pretty much it. That doesn't actually mean anything… does it?

What makes Mark more confused, is how Jinyoung's behavior had changed since Jaebum and Youngjae became a couple. He's been a bit more clingy to Mark, and often wants to sleep with him a lot more. Not that Mark minded it, he felt that they were close enough as friends to do that sort of thing. Yet being so close to this ‘ _friend_ ’ made him long for a deeper relationship, not necessarily with Jinyoung in particular, but just a relationship in general.

Mark was surprised when one night, Jinyoung came over to his room to sleep in his bed, and he mention that exact same thought to him.

Jinyoung snuggled himself under the covers, his forehead touching Mark's shoulder just barely as he got comfortable in the elders bed. Mark was used to this, only glancing over at Jinyoung briefly before looking at his phone again.

“You're bed is always warm.” Jinyoung mumbled.

Jinyoung's excuse for sleeping in Mark's room more often was that his own room was colder, and he was always freezing in his bed. Mark could see that as a valid reason, seeing that the first winter chills were starting to set in, and his room was a bit warmer than Jinyoung's. So he didn't complain when Jinyoung would glide his way in between Mark's sheets late at night.

“I guess so.” Mark responded, not really paying much attention to the younger.

“...You know, this is the time where people start cuddling with each other, to keep warm.” Jinyoung stated.

Mark didn't know exactly why Jinyoung was mentioning that, but he just brushed it off as one of Jinyoung's random statement. “I guess you're right. A lot of couples form during the winter months.”

Jinyoung nodded. “It's nice to be next to someone, feeling their body heat as the cold sets in. Unfortunately for me, it seems as if I'll be lonely again this winter.”

Mark looked over at Jinyoung, what he said hitting close to home. “Tell me about it… but then again, what's new for us? We weren't even allowed to date for three years, and now we're just too busy to even consider a relationship.” Mark shrugged, looking back at his phone.

“I know… and it honestly sucks being around Jaebum and Youngjae together. I mean, I'm genuinely happy for them, they've waited too long for each other, but it makes me feel so… alone. I wanna have someone in my life…” Jinyoung trailed off.

Mark nodded in agreement, assuming that everyone was probably feeling that way. Having their best friends date each other can be exciting, but then again being completely surrounded by their relationship makes the others feel like kids who really want the newest toy, but can't afford to get it.

Mark sighed, turning off his phone and placing it on the table next to him. He laid back in bed, preparing to sleep. He felt Jinyoung move closer to him, their bodies gently pressed against each other, and Mark assumed that he was still cold. He reached over Jinyoung and made sure to cover him up so that he wasn't freezing in the middle of the night.

Jinyoung smiled at the action. “You're always quietly taking care of people…” he said as he was already starting to nod off.

Mark shrugged, not thinking much of it. “I just don't want you to get sick.”

“...Thank you…” Jinyoung mumbled, his voice trailing off to sleep.

Mark looked down at his face, admiring how peaceful it looked. He absentmindedly reached over and moved a strand of hair out of the younger's face, before realizing what he was doing and quickly pulling his hand away. He didn't know why he stared at Jinyoung for so long, but he tried not to think about it as he just turned over and fell asleep.

\----------

The next morning, Mark woke up to the smell of cherry blossoms and vanilla, breathing it in heavily, as he liked the scent. Something tickled his nose as he breathed in, making him pull away and rub it. He realized that he had been smelling Jinyoung hair, the shampoo he used in it radiating off of it. Jinyoung's face was so close to his own that Mark could feel him breathing, and he nervously backed away from the sleeping man. At some point in the night, Jinyoung's leg found its way on top of Mark's, so he had to carefully maneuver his way out of the tangle of limbs before he could finally get up.

Jinyoung groaned at all the movement and turned over, still fast asleep. Mark had barely realized he'd been holding his breath, until he let out a sigh of relief as he hadn't woken Jinyoung up. It was pretty early, for some reason, Mark gets up early in the morning, so he quietly made his way to the door, practically tip toeing out the room.

He walked down the hall to the kitchen, and was caught off guard when he saw Youngjae sitting on the counter with Jaebum in between his legs, the two kissing shamelessly. Mark quietly gasped in shock before quickly becoming annoyed, deciding to stroll into the kitchen and make as much noise as possible to disturb them. He went and pulled out a chair at the table, scraping it loudly across the floor.

The two both jerked at the sudden sound, looking quickly over at Mark before separating, Youngjae hopping off of the counter and Jaebum backing away. Their cheeks were glowing red as embarrassment took over them.

“This is a place where we eat, not make out.” Mark stated coldly, looking between the two.

“S-Sorry…” Youngjae stuttered. Mark couldn't tell only judging by Youngjae's red face if he was just embarrassed or turned on from Jaebum. He didn't care either way though, it was still annoying to find them being all touchy and clingy everywhere.

“We did come in here to eat, but…” Jaebum looked at Youngjae, and Youngjae looked back at him, both chuckling shyly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, you came in here to eat then someone got handsy, one thing led to another and then you're making out in front of me. It's how all your stories go, I'm pretty used to it by now.” Mark said, rolling his eyes.

Youngjae frowned, noticing how Mark really wasn't too happy with them. “Uh, we’re really sorry. I know it's been happening often but, we’ll try to keep our, um, _clinginess_ to a minimum, okay?”

Jaebum nodded in agreement, both of them wearing apologetic looks on their faces. Mark couldn't make himself stay mad at them for long, as they really seemed to feel bad for it, and he just wasn't the type of person to hold a long grudge.

“Its fine, I understand you guys are crazy for each other. Go have fun kids.” Mark said, sounding like an old man talking to some careless teenagers.

Jaebum walked over and patted Mark on the shoulder, apologizing again before walking out, with Youngjae following right behind him. Mark shook his head, laughing a bit at the situation before getting up to grab him some breakfast.

He started a pot of coffee and pulled out a cup, moving to the other cabinets to get a bowl and cereal box. He was pouring himself a bowl of cereal when he felt some weight being pushed onto his back. He jolted in surprise, turning to see what it was.

“I'm hungry… get me some too…” Jinyoung mumbled as he leaned on Mark from behind.

“Jeez, you scared the hell out of me.” Mark said, calming down as he realized it was just him. Jinyoung is usually up early with Mark and Jaebum, but he'd caught Mark off guard, as the elder didn't even hear him walk into the kitchen.

“Sorry…” he said, sounding like he was still waking up.

“It's fine…” Mark said, reaching to grab another bowl for Jinyoung.

The younger was still pushing his weight onto Mark, whose hip bones started to hurt from being pushed into the counter, yet he didn't say anything, quietly getting Jinyoung his bowl of cereal.

“Here.” Mark said, sliding the bowl over for Jinyoung to take.

Jinyoung didn't move though, snuggling his face into Mark's back. “You're warm.” he said.

Mark started to feel a bit uncomfortable, but he didnt wanna just push Jinyoung off of him. “Uh… thanks? Your cereal is right here…” Mark said again, louder this time.

This time Jinyoung moved, shifting off of Mark to grab the bowl of cereal and head to the table. Mark let out a breath that he didn't realize he’d been holding in, his back suddenly feeling cold from the loss of Jinyoung's body heat. He didn't pay it any mind though, and followed Jinyoung to the table to eat.

They sat in silence, like they usually do when they eat, just the sound of chewing and spoons scraping glass filling the room. Jinyoung's head kept nodding as he tried to keep himself awake at the table, his eyes slowly closing one second, then fluttering back open the next. Mark noticed, and remembered the coffee he put on, getting up to go get some. He poured the finished brew into the cup he had set out earlier and went to the fridge to retrieve Jinyoung's favorite creamer, pouring just the amount he liked in it and mixing it in.

He poured himself a cup and brought them both to the table, setting the hot cup of coffee in front of Jinyoung. Jinyoung's eyes were closed, and they fluttered open again when he heard the cup hit the table and felt the steam from the coffee hit his face. He looked down at the cup, then looked at Mark who was focused back on eating his own food.

“It has creamer in it?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark nodded. “The vanilla one you like, right? I filled it up to where I see you usually fill it.”

Jinyoung smiled, looking back at the cup of coffee on the table. “You're always taking care of me.”

Mark shrugged. “I try to be a good friend to everyone.”

Jinyoung's smiled lessened. “Friend…” he repeated.

“Hm?” Mark hummed as he sipped his own coffee, not hearing what Jinyoung said.

Jinyoung looked away. “Ah, nothing. Thanks.”

Mark nodded as a way of saying you're welcome, silence settling across the room again. Mark finished his cereal and coffee, getting up to clean the dishes, then heading out the kitchen. As he was just leaving, he felt his hand being pulled back. Mark quickly turned, facing Jinyoung who was looking back at him.

“Can you… stay?” Jinyoung asked, gripping Mark's hand.

Mark furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“I just… like eating with you…” Jinyoung said, looking away.

Mark shook his head confusedly. “I finished eating though.”

Jinyoung sighed. “I know, but I'm still eating and I'd rather not be here by myself.”

Mark was still confused, but figured that asking anymore questions wouldn't help anyway. He walked back over to his seat and sat down, Jinyoung still holding onto his hand until he was fully in his seat. Mark felt a bit awkward being there, he wanted to leave since he’d finished his food already. He didn't want to ignore Jinyoung though, which is why he stayed until Jinyoung was done eating.

Mark was wondering though, why Jinyoung had become so clingy. He did already notice that it started a bit after Jaebum and Youngjae confirmed their relationship, so maybe that enhanced Jinyoung's feeling of loneliness? Mark felt bad, even though he was having the same feelings, and being close to anyone at all felt good when going through lonely times. So Mark understood the possible reason for Jinyoung's sudden closeness to him.

When Jinyoung finished eating, he drank the rest of his coffee and got up to clean his dishes.

“Thanks.” Jinyoung said again as they both left the kitchen.

“Sure.” Mark said, before turning to head into the bathroom as Jinyoung went into his own room.

The bathroom was warm and dewy, as it usually is after Jaebum showers. Mark is usually the second to shower, as food is always a first priority to him as soon as he wakes up. He quickly removed his clothes and hopped in, not one to waste time admiring himself or dancing or singing like the others do.

His showers are usually over pretty quickly, and the other members alway tease him for it. He didn't care though, as long as he was clean and fresh. He got out of the shower and dried his hair first, before wrapping the towel he used around his waist and heading out.

As he opened the door, he quite literally ran into Jinyoung, accidentally bumping him into the wall.

“Oh shit, sorry, quit coming out of nowhere like that.” Mark said.

Jinyoung rubbed his head. “Well I didn't expect you to come out that fast, I literally just saw you go in like, 10 minutes ago.”

Mark noticed Jinyoung rubbing his head, pulling him closer to examine the spot better. “You know I shower quickly…” Mark trailed off as he inspected Jinyoung's head.

Mark jolted as he suddenly felt Jinyoung's hand on his bare chest, ignoring it, but definitely feeling it there. His hand was warm and felt like it was heating Mark's skin. He assumed Jinyoung just did it by accident, as Mark was currently tilting the slightly taller man’s head down so that he could see the place where he hit it on the wall. Mark ran his finger over the place where Jinyoung's head was hit and the younger winced, his nails digging lightly into the skin on Mark's chest. Mark hissed and removed Jinyoung's hand, trying to ignore the sensation he had just gotten from it.

“Oh God, there's a bump there, you need ice.” Mark said, grabbing Jinyoung's wrist and pulling him into the kitchen.

Mark pulled Jinyoung over by the counter and left him there leaning against it, quickly grabbing a bag from the cabinet and starting to fill it with ice.

“Mark, I think it'll be fine…” Jinyoung said, touching the spot where the bump was on his head and wincing again at the pain.

Mark finished filling the bag with ice and walked back over to Jinyoung. “No, you need to bring the swelling down or it'll look bad. Come here.”

Mark reached behind Jinyoung's head and placed the ice where it needed healing, feeling that he needed to take care of it since it was his fault the bump was there in the first place. As Mark held the iced in place, he noticed Jinyoung looking down, and Mark followed his gaze to his own body. He realized that he was just in a towel and that any wrong move could leave him standing stark naked. Not that he was worried or embarrassed about it, he just preferred not to walk around naked, and he especially preferred not to be stared at, which Jinyoung was currently doing.

“You've been working out, huh?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes still scanning Mark's torso.

Mark shifted his weight, still holding the ice to Jinyoung's head. “Uh, yeah, I guess…” Mark mumbled.

“What do you mean ‘I guess’? Look at these abs!” Jinyoung said, running a finger down Mark's abs.

Mark shuddered, not prepared for the touch, and he instinctively grabbed Jinyoung's hand with his other free one that wasn't holding the ice, moving it away. “S-Sure…” Mark stuttered.

Jinyoung looked at Mark, frowning as he shook out of his grip. He then placed his hand directly back back on Mark's abs, feeling the defined muscles under his finger tips. “Hey! Relax, let me feel them.These look so good on you…” Jinyoung said, his eyes glued to Mark's body.

Mark didn't know why Jinyoung insisted on feeling his abs, and felt quite uncomfortable about it. His body reacted in favor of the touches, but Mark just wanted to get away from him, especially when his hands started travelling further around his torso.

“O-Okay Jinyoung, that's enough…” Mark said, again reaching for Jinyoung's hands and removing them from his body.

“But your skin is so soft…” Jinyoung said, pouting.

Mark ignored him, becoming very concerned with how Jinyoung has been all over him lately. Instead of thinking about it though, he tilted Jinyoung's head back down to check the spot where he'd been holding the ice.

“It looks better now. There's still kind of a bump there but I think it should hurt less.” Mark stated, pulling away from Jinyoung and turning away to throw out the ice bag.

Mark turned back around and was all of a sudden swept into a hug. Jinyoung squeezed him tight, his hands roaming Mark's naked back as he did so.

“Thanks. You're so good to me.” Jinyoung whispered, before pulling away and and leaving the kitchen, looking back and giving Mark a smirk before walking out.

Mark was baffled by everything that had just happened in the past 15 minutes. He stood there for a minute to regain his thoughts before heading to his room. He put on some clothes and heard some commotion outside of his room, assuming that the other members were starting to wake up. They had a schedule later that day, so their morning was free, and Mark took the time to relax, since he'd already prepared himself for the day.

He tried to play games and look through social media, but his mind kept wandering to how clingy and touchy Jinyoung was being recently. Him being so close to Mark wasn't unusual, but the fact that he was being _overwhelmingly_ close was an issue that Mark didn't know how to handle. He didn't want to just push him away or yell at the guy, but Jinyoung has been almost literally hanging all over Mark, and he didn't even really know why. He pondered if he should ask him directly, but Mark isn't the type to face things upfront, especially if it's something that might be personal.

So, Mark decided to not say anything, and just see what happens. The time came for them to go out for their schedule which was an afternoon radio show, and when in public, Jinyoung acted normal. He wasn't unusually clingy to Mark besides the occasional arm around him, which he did only briefly before letting him go and chatting with the other members. Mark found this peculiar, as just hours before Jinyoung was right there next to him every five minutes. It confused Mark even further, leaving him to wonder what was going on with him.

He got rid of that mindset at the schedule, completing the radio show as if nothing was bothering him. The group went out to dinner afterwards, and Mark forgot all about his Jinyoung problem, as Jinyoung was acting like his usual self again.

Mark opted for the seat near the wall in the booth at the restaurant, just having a weird preference to sit there. Jinyoung slid in next to him, and the others took their seats as well. They ordered their food and chatted about random things, but Mark noticed from the corner of his eye Jinyoung constantly looking at him, which made him shift in his seat.

As BamBam and Jackson were in a heated argument about whether dolphins or seals were the better aquatic animal, their food arrived, and Mark tried his best to focus on his food and the pointless arguing rather than Jinyoung's eyes that kept darting in his direction.

Mark had been eating almost peacefully, when he suddenly felt a hand on his thigh. He glanced over at Jinyoung, who the hand belonged to. He was looking in the other direction as if nothing was happening. Mark didn't notice Jinyoung's hand move from the table, but he definitely noticed it when it squeezed around him, his fingers pressing into Mark's inner thigh. Mark's leg jerked, his knee nearly banging into the table. He looked at Jinyoung again who glanced at him with a smirk, squeezing his hand again.

Mark quickly reached down and moved his hand, trying not to cause a scene in front of the others. He tried to continue eating, but nearly choked when Jinyoung's hand had found its way to his thigh again, way too close to a certain private area.

Mark, who was quickly becoming tired of Jinyoung's behavior, grabbed his wrist under the table and moved his his hand from his thigh, pulling Jinyoung towards him.

“Jinyoung, stop.” Mark whispered sternly, still holding Jinyoung's wrist.

“But why?” he nearly whined.

“Because I said so. This is inappropriate.” Mark scolded in his ear, pushing him away.

Jinyoung sighed, a look of disappointment on his face, but he complied and behaved himself the rest of the dinner.

The group arrived home, all pretty tired and ready for bed as soon as they got back. Mark pretty much avoided Jinyoung, not in spite, but just to avoid any more touchy scenarios. After Mark showered and changed into his comfortable clothes, he laid down, ready to sleep. Not too long after though, Mark heard his room door open, familiar bare feet padding against the floor towards his bed.

The mattress dipped next to him and the covers ruffled, and Mark felt a warm heat pressing against his back. He knew it was Jinyoung, but he felt weird being so close to him, so he moved away. Yet Jinyoung moved closer, not letting Mark have any room for himself. He was growing tired of the clinginess, just wanting a bit of space.

“Jinyoung, can you please move over?” Mark asked as calmly as he could.

Jinyoung hummed in response, moving away from Mark, who still had his back turned to him. For a brief second, Mark though Jinyoung would finally listen, until he felt hands latch onto his hips, pulling Mark back towards Jinyoung. Mark was caught off guard and flipped over, facing Jinyoung who was grinning back at him.

“Jinyoung, what the hell.” Mark said, not up for dealing with him at the moment.

“What? It's cold~” he said, wrapping an arm around Mark's waist to pull him closer.

Mark pushed him away, moving Jinyoung's arm off of him. “No, stop it. What the hell was with you at dinner anyway?”

“I don't know what you mean.” Jinyoung said, shrugging his shoulders.

Mark was slowly getting pissed off with Jinyoung, but he tried to keep his cool. “Don't play dumb, seriously, what's wrong with you lately.”

Jinyoung looked offended. “Nothings wrong with me! What, you don't like me touching you?” he asked teasingly as his hand found its way to Mark's thigh.

“Jinyoung, stop.” Mark said with more force this time.

“Come on Mark, it doesn't mean anything, right? I just wanna touch you…” Jinyoung said, his hand moving upwards to slip under Mark's shirt.

“Wait, J-Jinyoung, stop. Please.” Mark said, becoming flustered with Jinyoung's hands on him everywhere.

“It doesn't mean anything though! All these touches, and times we spend together, and moments we share together, mean absolutely _nothing_ to you, right?” Jinyoung said, the smile he had on his face long gone.

Mark didn't know what came over Jinyoung. _He_ was the one that seemed upset now, and Mark didn't know what was wrong or what to do. It felt  like Jinyoung was upset with Mark, but Mark had no idea for what. He literally took care of Jinyoung almost all day, what could he have possibly done wrong? Either way, Jinyoung was right, the time they spent together didn't mean anything, it was just time between friends. _Right_?

Either way, Jinyoung soon after pulled himself away from Mark, turning over to face the opposite direction.

“Jinyoung?” Mark called, baffled by his strange behavior.

“Goodnight Mark.” Jinyoung said in a monotone voice.

“Uh, okay, goodnight.” Mark turned himself over the other way, staring into darkness as his mind tried to sort out what the hell just happened.

Mark was confused, and Jinyoung's odd behavior made it worse..Mark felt bad for saying something to him now, if he had only just let Jinyoung sleep close to him, he wouldn't have started this mess. Now, Mark has no clue on what's going through Jinyoung's mind, or what he should do about it, or if he should even do anything. Maybe Jinyoung was just stressed, emotionally and physically. Maybe he just wanted someone to release stress with, and he decided to pick Mark.

Mark could understand that. If Jinyoung needed someone to hug then Mark didn't mind being there for him. And if Jinyoung wanted to sleep next to someone to not feel lonely, well, Mark was already helping him with that. Mark figured that Jinyoung just craved attention, especially with all these couples running around, showing off their relationships in their faces. Mark didn't mind being there for Jinyoung, giving him the attention he wants, as long as they only keep it between friends.

 _Just friends,_ Mark concluded.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who say dont rush it, I wont!! As you can tell Mark is slow and dumb as hell, so it wouldnt feel right to rush the story into a relationship so quickly. And to those who want smut, I think it'll come in much later, maybe towards the end like in Fifty Shade of Youngjae. They still have a lot of feelings and drama to go through rn, so I cant just have them just start going at it on a table lmao. So basically, everyone gets what they want! Yay!!

Mark woke up to an empty pillow next to him, and he knows that he didn't go to sleep alone. He wondered where Jinyoung went, thinking that maybe he went back to his room in the middle of the night. Mark sat up, yawning as he stretched, the golden light of the early morning starting to seep through his window.

He got up and headed to the door, walking into the hallway and pausing as he looked at Jinyoung's room’s closed door across from his own. Mark wondered if he really did leave in the middle of the night, not surprised if he did by the way he acted last night. He went over and knocked on the door, hearing no answer, so he opened it and peeked in, finding an empty bed. Mark frowned, now really wondering where Jinyoung was. He shouldn't be too worried about it since he's somewhere in the apartment, yet he wanted to find Jinyoung soon, just to know if he's okay.

He walked into the kitchen and found him sitting there, scrolling through some article online. Mark came in quietly, Jinyoung only noticing him when he was nearly hovering over the younger.

“Oh, hi Mark.” Jinyoung said with a small smile on his face.

“Hey… where'd you go this morning?” Mark asked

“Oh, I just woke up  _ really _ early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I've been sitting here for a few hours…” Jinyoung said, his voice coming out softy.

Mark frowned. “Its like, 4 in the morning right now, how early were you up?”

“I don't remember really… I think I only slept for about 2-3 hours? I've been sitting here for a long time though.” Jinyoung said, shrugging it off.

Mark was a bit surprised by that. “You can't miss out on sleep, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung chuckled lightly, almost sadly. “I'm okay, Mark, this has happened before…”

Mark shook his head, not accepting that as an excuse. “Come here.” Mark demanded, grabbing Jinyoung's wrist and pulling him out of his chair.

Mark looked at Jinyoung closely in the face, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Look at you, you look terrible.” he said before turning to walk and pulling Jinyoung after him.

“W-Wait Mark, wha-” Jinyoung barely kept up as Mark quite literally dragged him down the hall back to his bedroom.

He walked in and pushed Jinyoung down onto his bed, grabbing the covers and throwing them over him.

“No, Mark, I'm really fine- “ Jinyoung started to say as he struggled against Mark's strength.

Mark leaned in, his eyes piercing. There are only a few times Mark has such a serious look on his face, and this was one of those times. “You. Sleep. Now.” he commanded.

Jinyoung gulped. “B-But Mark, I'm gonna have to get back up again in just a few hours, we have to go to the studio toda- “

“And I'll wake you up later so you can get ready. But right now, you sleep. You can't expect your voice to sound good if you haven't even slept well. And on top of that, it's  _ your _ song were recording today, don't you think you of all people should be prepared?”

Jinyoung looked as if he wanted to argue, but the way Mark looked at him was almost as if he was daring Jinyoung to say another word, so he didn't. Not that he could argue with that point anyway. Mark turned to leave, heading out the room.

“Why are you so caring?...” Jinyoung mumbled just before he reached the hallway.

Mark looked back and shrugged. “Like I told you before, I try to be a good friend.”

Jinyoung sighed and gave Mark a smile that he could tell wasn't genuine. “Thanks…” he said before rolling over to sleep.

Mark sort of wanted to stay to see what was wrong with him, why he's been looking so down recently, but instead he left, closing the door gently and walking back to the kitchen. He prepared himself breakfast and decided to make something for Jinyoung too since he seems to have had a rough night. Jaebum came into the kitchen yawning not long after, seeing Mark occupied with his task.

“Whatcha doing?” Jaebum mumbled, his voice still waking up from sleep.

Mark didn't see him come in, and turned to face him. “Oh, just making breakfast, want something?”

Jaebum shook his head. “Nah, I'll make something myself later, I need to shower first.”

Mark nodded, turning back to focus on what he was doing. Jaebum stood there for a bit and watched him, seeing how hard he was working.

“You need help?” Jaebum suddenly asked.

“Ah, no, I think I'm okay.” Mark responded.

“You're making enough for how many people?” Jaebum wondered as he looked at the amount of food he was making.

Mark looked down, realizing how weird it must look to have that much food for yourself. “Oh, no this isn't all for me, it's for Jinyoung too when he wakes up.”

“Oh…” Jaebum said as he understood, before furrowing his brows. “Wait but isn't Jinyoung up already?”

Mark turned. “What, you saw him? I just told him to go to sleep, that idiot…” Mark said annoyed.

“No, no, I didn't see him recently, I saw him much earlier when I went to come to get a drink of water.” Jaebum said.

“Oh…” Mark said, relieved. “Around what time was that?”

“It wasn't that long after we came back home… maybe about 11:30 last night? He said he couldn't sleep…” Jaebum recalled.

“Oh, you talked to him? Did he seem okay?” Mark asked, concerned for his friends well being.

“He was… distant. But he's always seems like that with his feelings. He so good at hiding his emotions that even after all these years of knowing him, I still can't decipher what he's thinking or feeling.” Jaebum said, shaking his head.

Mark sighed, feeling stuck about the whole situation.

“Why do you want to know anyway? Something wrong?” Jaebum asked.

Mark shook his head.“He's just been… weird, I guess? Last night he was…”

Mark recalled Jinyoung's hands touching him everywhere, from squeezing his thigh to sweeping across his chest, his body shivering from the memory.

“... uh, he was just… weird.” Mark finished.

“I see... “ Jaebum said while going deep into thought. “I haven't noticed any weird behavior from him, but I guess we should keep an eye on him just in case.” he stated.

Mark nodded in agreement, Jaebum leaving the kitchen to go take his usual morning shower. Mark finished preparing their food and checked the time, knowing that Jinyoung usually takes an hour to get ready. He figured he could let the guy sleep a bit more, putting the food to the side and heading to the living room to watch TV for a bit. He was going to eat his own plate of breakfast, but remembered how Jinyoung said he liked eating with him the day before, and decided not to.

He flopped himself on the couch and picked a random channel, not really caring what he watched, his mind still wandering to what could be up with Jinyoung. No matter what he thought of, nothing Mark has done in the past few days seemed as if had an impact on Jinyoung's behavior. Yet he seemed so upset with Mark the night before, and the only thing Jinyoung kept telling him was that “it meant nothing”. So then, if it meant nothing, why did he seem so upset?

Mark shook the thought from his head, watching TV for about an hour or so longer before figuring it was about time to wake Jinyoung up. He turned off the television and headed back to his room, first peeking into the room before fully entering. Mark saw Jinyoung's sleeping face and was glad the younger was able to get some rest before the long day they had before them. Mark entered the room, slowly making his way over to the bed.

He leaned over Jinyoung's sleeping body, reaching out to gently shake Jinyoung's shoulder. Jinyoung groaned in response, turning over to get away from the touch interrupting his sleep.

“Jinyoung.” Mark called.

Jinyoung made a grunting noise in response, trying to go back into the deep sleep he was taken out of.

“Jinyoung, come on, get up.” Mark said, shaking his shoulder again.

Jinyoung slapped Mark's hand and groaned again. “Go away, I'm tired.” he mumbled.

Mark sighed. “That's why you shouldn't have stayed up half the night. But you got some more sleep now, so you need to get up.” Mark said, pulling the covers away from Jinyoung and grabbing his arm.

“No…” Jinyoung said, reaching for the covers.

Mark sighed again, becoming slightly annoyed with the stubborn Jinyoung he’s having to deal with. “It’s funny how you didn't even want to sleep and now you can't leave  _ my  _ bed.”

Mark grabbed Jinyoung's arm and pulled him, dragging his body almost halfway off the bed before the younger finally sat up so he wouldn't

fall. Jinyoung sat there rubbing his eyes as he woke himself up a bit more.

“How long did I sleep?” He asked, slowly coming out of his stubborn sleepiness.

“I gave you about 2 and a half hours so you'd have enough time to get ready. Now come on and eat something.” Mark said, walking out the room with Jinyoung quickly following behind at the mention of food.

Jinyoung was heading to get a bowl to make some cereal when Mark stopped him and told him to sit at the table. He listened, questioning why Mark didn't let him get his cereal.

“Here, eat this.” Mark said, pulling out the food he made earlier and placing it in front of Jinyoung.

Jinyoung looked at the food, then up at Mark, his eyes wide. “Did… did you make this for me?”

Mark nodded as if it were no big deal. “Yeah, after not sleeping much, you at least need to eat something that could get you through the morning. A bowl of cereal isn't enough.”

Jinyoung stared at Mark with a dropped jaw before looking back down at his food. He hesitated before eating it, as if he wanted to admire the food once more before it all ends up in his stomach. Mark grabbed his own plate and ate along with Jinyoung, constantly glancing up at him to make sure he was eating everything.

“I… um, thank you, Mark.” Jinyoung said once he finished his food.

Mark shrugged. “It was nothing.”

Jinyoung nodded, looking as if something was on his mind. “Well… I'm gonna go get ready.” he said, quickly getting up to clean his dishes and leave.

“Wait.” Mark called after him, Jinyoung turning around where he stood. “Jinyoung… are you okay? Is anything wrong?”

Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head. “No, why do you ask?”

“You seem to be… I don't know, just… is there something on your mind? I'm here for you, you know that, right?” Mark said, hoping he was getting through to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung shook his head, resuming what he was doing. “Don't worry about it, Mark. I'm okay, I can handle my troubles myself.” he said, before walking out of the room.

“Troubles…” Mark mumbled, realizing that Jinyoung might have just confessed that something was in fact bothering him. Mark wondered what “troubles” Jinyoung could have, partially hoping he becomes better soon and that Mark himself wasn't one of them. But he hasn't done anything to Jinyoung, so why would he be one of them?

Mark cleaned up his own space and went to get ready for the day himself. When the time came to go to the studio, Mark, Jinyoung, Jackson and BamBam were called first, the other members not needing to come until later.

They entered the studio, Jackson and BamBam immediately becoming distracted by food, while Mark was the first to get into the booth.

“You ready?” asked the producer when Mark got settled in.

“Yep.” Mark said, drinking a sip of water to prepare his voice.

“Do your best, okay?” he heard Jinyoung say through the speaker.

“Always.” Mark replied.

Mark rapped his verse once the music started, trying his best to get it done in the least amount of tries, as always. Yet for some reason, he felt weird about it.

“You're rushing it.” Jinyoung said.

“Oh, am I? Sorry, I just wanna eat already I'm starving.” he said, hearing the producer laugh. He heard Jinyoung chuckle a bit too, glad that he was able to put a smile back on his face.

“Yeah, just slow it down a bit and try to pronounce your words more clearer.” Jinyoung said, starting the music a few minutes after.

Mark tried again, but he ended up stumbling over his words, getting confused with the lyrics. He tried a few more times, but for some reason it just wasn't his day. It was something about knowing Jinyoung was watching him that was throwing him off. It made him feel… nervous? He didn't know why he felt nervous in front of Jinyoung, it's not like they haven't done this before. But hearing him criticize and correct Mark made Mark feel as if he wasn't doing his best. He all of a sudden wanted to be perfect in front of Jinyoung, but he wasn't.

“Mark, are you okay?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark picked up his water bottle and drank some water, before closing it and throwing it back down to the floor.

“I just can't get these damn lines right. “ Mark said, rubbing his face.

“Alright, how about we take a break and get someone else into the booth, and you can try again afterwards? BamBam, you ready?” the producer asked.

“I've been ready like, 20 minutes ago.” BamBam said, hopping off the couch to go into the booth.

Mark took off his headphones frustratedly and left the room. He walked out into the hallway and leaned against the wall, covering his face with his hands. Not long after, Jinyoung had walked out into the hallway to join him.

“Mark, what's up with you? You spent all morning trying to get  _ me _ ready for the studio, but then  _ you _ get in there unprepared.” he said.

Mark shook his head, not really wanting the problem to his bad performance to follow him to the hallway. “I don't need a fucking lecture right now, I'm pissed off at myself.”

Jinyoung sighed, walking closer to Mark and resting an hand on his shoulder. “It's fine Mark, maybe you can go home and come back- “

“No, I usually do it fine in just a few tries, but it's been over 30 minutes and I can't get it…”

Jinyoung stepped closer to right in front of Mark, his hands traveling up to cup his cheeks. “Look at me.” He ordered, making Mark's eyes focus on his. “Its okay, you're just having a bad day, you just need to relax.”

Mark paused for a minute, staring into Jinyoung's eyes before realizing how close they were standing and shaking his head. “No… no stop.” he said, removing Jinyoung's hands from his face and pushing him away. “Don't… can you just... not be near me right now? I just need… more water.”

Mark walked away from Jinyoung, not being able to handle anymore stress than he was already going through. He usually does a good job, yet today he's flopping. Mark gets very upset when he doesn't perform well, even when it’s just around a few people gathered in a studio. He just couldn't shake the feeling of Jinyoung watching him, knowing that he was on the other side of that wall judging everything Mark did. It made him feel… uncomfortable. If that was even what he was feeling.

He needed to get away from him, not just Jinyoung, but from that suffocating room. He knows he has to return later, but he needed some air, so he walked out to the convenience store just down the street to get some more water.

As he walked around though, he started to feel bad for not doing his best and pushing Jinyoung away, knowing that the latter was just trying to calm him down. What Mark needed though was some space, and now that he's got it and cleared his mind, he felt good enough to return to the studio.

On his return, both BamBam and Jackson had pretty much finished their parts, Jackson just coming out of the booth as Jinyoung went in. Jackson saw Mark and approached him, resting an hand on his shoulder.

“You okay? Heard you had a little hissy fit.” Jackson said.

Mark looked away, sort of embarrassed of his behavior. “Uh, no, it wasn't a hissy fit… I was just pissed off that I couldn't get my verse right… I'm okay now though. I think maybe I can do it.” he said.

“I see, well, it happens to all of us. Just get back in there when Jinyoung is finished and do what you do best.” Jackson said, giving a warm smile that Mark couldn't help but smile back at.

“Yeah, thanks.” Mark said.

“I'm heading home with Bam, see you later.” he said, patting Mark on the shoulder before walking off.

Mark nodded at him, walking back into the other room with the producer. He saw Jinyoung through the glass putting on his headphones and sipping some water before turning to face them. His eyes immediately locked on Mark's when he noticed him, but quickly looked away. Mark just sat on the couch, making himself not too noticeable.

He watched and listened to Jinyoung sing his part, paying attention to how passionate he gets while singing. He admired how Jinyoung would self produce, telling the other producer that he was too excited or too fast or it didn't sound right, then doing it again to perfect his sound. Mark liked seeing this working hard side of Jinyoung, it makes him aspire to work harder too.

As Mark became more engrossed in watching Jinyoung, he couldn't help but notice that every time he’d begin to sing his verse, his eyes would meet Mark's, almost as if he was singing to him. Mark felt him heart thump weirdly, and he clutched his chest as he didn't really understand what that feeling was. He looked away, not wanting Jinyoung to notice how uneasy he felt.

Jinyoung was done not long, as it was his own song, so he probably knows his own part pretty well. The producer spun around in his chair and saw Mark as Jinyoung gathered his stuff in the booth to leave.

“Oh, I didn't even see you come back, ready to try again?” he asked Mark.

Mark nodded and gave a friendly smile, showing that he was calmed down and ready to work again. As he went into the hallway he ran into Jinyoung who was just coming out of the booth.

“Oh, hey. You're okay now?” Jinyoung asked.

“Yeah. Just needed some air.” he said.

Jinyoung nodded, walking past Mark to head into the other room with the producer. Mark watched him go, until he was out of sight, then he headed into the booth.

“Okay Mark, let's try this again!” the producer said through the mic.

“I'm ready.” Mark responded.

There was a moment of silence where Mark thought the music was going to start playing, but instead it was Jinyoung's voice coming through the speaker. “Do it comfortably. Don't think too hard about it or else it'll sound forced…”

“I trust you, producer Park.” Mark said jokingly. He heard a short chuckle through the mic, smiling again at being able to make the other laugh.

Mark took a few breaths before the music started and he rapped his part again. He followed the music and let his voice find the right pitch and tone. As he finished, he heard clapping through the speakers.

“Finally! Just do exactly what you did just now one more time for an extra take, and you should be good!” the producer said.

Mark sighed and grinned as he was relieved he finally did it, and on his first try back in the studio. He did it one more time and was done for the day, glad that he could finally go home. 

“Good job, Mark.” Jinyoung said through the mic, and for some reason, Mark smiled at hearing the compliment from him, his face growing warm as he felt himself blush a little.

He came out of the booth and headed to the other room, looking in as Jinyoung gathered his own things.

“So, you're song is finished now?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung looked over as he put on his coat. “Oh, no. We still have the others coming in later, meaning that I need to come back later. But I need to get out of this studio right now, it's too stuffy in here.”

“Oh yeah…” Mark had forgotten that only four out if seven of the members recorded their parts earlier in the day, while the others come in later, meaning that Jinyoung's work wasn't done. Mark was completely done though, and he and Jinyoung decided to head home.

When they arrived home, Mark immediately got comfortable and sat in front of the T.V. to play video games, his usual past time nowadays. Jinyoung watched him make a bee line to his console, shaking his head.

“Jeez you're obsessed with that.” he commented.

“Yeah well, after the stress I went through I need to blow off steam by shooting people in the head.” Mark replied.

Jinyoung furrowed his brows. “I thought you said you calmed down?” 

“Yeah, I did, but I still wanna shoot people in the head.” Mark said, the sound of gunshots from the video game coming from the T.V..

“That sounds very… murderous. They say keep an eye on the quiet ones…” Jinyoung said, sitting down next to Mark in front of the television.

“They're right, keep one eye open when you sleep, you'll never know what I may do.” he said, laughing as Jinyoung nudged him in the arm.

He felt relaxed and glad that him and Jinyoung were laughing and joking around like usual. He had thought that something was wrong with Jinyoung, but maybe it was just Mark interpreting his behavior wrong. He seemed pretty normal that day, so Mark thought he must've misjudged.

“Oh, by the way, sorry for earlier. I just needed… some space, it felt really stuffy in there.” Mark said, his eyes still glued to the screen, but his words coming out with meaning.

“Its fine, I could tell you needed to get out.” Jinyoung responded, watching Mark play his game.

“You should rest or something Nyoungie, you have to go back later with Jaebum, Yugyeom and Youngjae.” Mark said before groaning as he lost his game.

Jinyoung giggled, leaning over to rest his head on Mark's arm. “You suck at games… I like when you call me that, by the way.”

“What, Nyoungie?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung hummed in response, using Mark's arm as a pillow to rest his head on. Mark looked down at him, chuckling a bit at how Jinyoung can go from cool music producer to a little baby in almost and instant. He continued playing as Jinyoung rested on him, the younger taking a nap as Mark constantly lost at his game.

He woke Jinyoung once it was time for the others to go in to the studio, and Jinyoung quickly got up and left with them. Mark didn't expect them to be back for a few hours, so he tried to find something to do with his time once he got tired of being bad at video games.

He decided to shower early and ended up just watching dramas on his computer until the others came back, keeping himself in his room as BamBam and Jackson occupied themselves with whatever they were doing. When they returned,  they brought home dinner for everyone, sitting around the table to eat together, which they don't do often.

“Oh Mark, here!” Jinyoung said eagerly as he brought Mark a tray of food when Mark entered the kitchen.

“Oh, thanks.” Mark said, setting the tray down and opening it, only to rejoice at what he saw. “You brought me my favorite!” he squealed.

Jinyoung grinned happily at him as he saw Mark's face light up with joy. “Yeah, I remembered what you love to order from that take out place a few blocks away, so I got it for you.”

“Aw so sweet Jinyoungie!” Jackson cooed as he sat down with his own food. Jinyoung rolled his eyes but was still smiling at the fact that Mark was so happy with his food. 

Mark patted Jinyoung's head before sitting down. “Thanks!” he said, digging in right after.

Jinyoung sat down with his own food and joined him, the group sitting around the table and chattering away about random things. As Mark finished up, he cleaned up his space, thanked Jinyoung again, and headed back to his room. Mark felt happy that Jinyoung also thought of him as much as he thought of Jinyoung, the balance making him feel good. He didn't know why he became so happy over the tiny things that Jinyoung does, but it didn't matter, he pushed the thought from his head as he resumed watching his dramas.

Not long after, his room door creaked open, and he looked behind his laptop that was balancing on his chest to see the familiar face that usually pops up late at night. Jinyoung entered with a smile, climbing onto Mark's bed next to him and looking at what he was watching.

“Oh, I've seen this one.” Jinyoung commented.

“Ah, really? Was it good?” Mark asked, being that he was only on the second episode.

“I liked it, even thought that girl can be a bit of a bitch.” Jinyoung said while pointing out a character on screen.

Mark was caught off guard by Jinyoung's sudden use of language, and he snorted into laughter.

“What? She is! I was just stating facts.” Jinyoung said.

“I was just surprised at how blunt you were about it.” Mark said, still getting the last of his laughter out.

“Well, if a bitch is a bitch, then you gotta let people know that they're a bitch. And that character right there, yeah she's a bitch.” Jinyoung said, making Mark laugh even harder. “Oh but the actress for her is absolutely wonderful.” he added.

“Stop!… I can't breath!…” Mark said between gasps of air as he laughed. Jinyoung couldn't help but laugh at himself too, but mostly staring at Mark's reddened face as he kept gasped from laughing too hard.

There was a brief moment of silence after a few minutes or so as the two watched the drama together. Jinyoung clicked his teeth at a certain scene and Mark paused the show, looking over at him.

“Is everything okay?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, I just hate that part.” Jinyoung responded.

“What, you mean the part when the father told the son to go hang out with girls instead of guys for once?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung nodded. “I mean, it isn't the father's business who the son hangs out with, is it?”

Mark nodded, only half agreeing though. “I guess. But I can understand his position, he doesn't want his son ending up… weird.”

Jinyoung immediately sat up and looked down at Mark. “Weird?” he repeated.

“Yeah… you know… when guys hang out with girls a lot, it's usually because they're… “ Mark trailed off.

“Because they're… what? Gay?” Jinyoung asked Mark almost hearing disgust in his voice.

“Y-Yeah… I mean, as a father you'd understand not wanting that, right?” Mark asked, confused on why Jinyoung was acting as if Mark had just said something disrespectful.

“First of all, not all gay people are the same, those stereotypes aren't always true. Secondly, I don't see the problem with that. So what if my son was gay?” Jinyoung said, his eyebrows furrowed.

“I mean… I didn't say it was a problem… it's just…” Mark stuttered, not really knowing what to say next.

“So then, let me ask you something Mark…” Jinyoung started, making the elder nervous. “Do you like me?”

Mark was caught off guard by the question. He didn't know what Jinyoung was trying to get at or what point he was trying to make, but the line of questioning already worried him. He felt the answer to that was obvious, but maybe Jinyoung just needed validation.

“Um, yeah… yes, of course I like you. I love you.” Mark said, staring at Jinyoung confusedly.

Jinyoung nodded. “So, if that's true, doesn't saying that make  _ you _ gay?” he asked.

Mark felt as if he was suddenly hit in the stomach with something, the question catching him way off guard. Of course he isn't gay. He was the straightest person he knew. He was so confused on why Jinyoung would say that, it  true.

“What? N-No! I love you but not like… why would you even…” Mark trailed off and Jinyoung leaned in closer his face serious.

“Are you sure Mark? You never looked at a guy before and thought even for a second that you may wanna… try it?” he asked, uncomfortably close to Marks face.

“I-I mean… I have thought of it… I mean, not like that but… no, I like girls...” Mark stumbled over his words, trying to defend himself, but failing.

“Not once have you wanted to try a boy? Guys know your body better than a girl ever would, I mean, we have all the same parts, right?” Jinyoung asked staring at Mark intensely.

The thought that suddenly crossed Mark's mind terrified him. Or rather, what he  _ imagined _ terrified him. A quick image of Jinyoung's body flashed through his mind and, just briefly, he thought about…  _ kissing him _ ? His heart started racing at the thought, yet he didn't know why. He shouldn't feel that way. Those thoughts shouldn't be flashing through his mind like that. Especially not about  _ Jinyoung _ . Jinyoung who was so close to him right now.  _ Too _ close.  _ Way too close _ .

Mark pushed Jinyoung away, his heart nearly beating out of his chest. “No! No, I like girls, okay? I don't care about what anyone else does, but I would  _ never _ do anything like that with a  _ guy _ !”

Jinyoung stared at Mark, his hand on his chest where the elder pushed him. His face had something sad to it, like he was disappointed. Mark didn't know why Jinyoung looked so sad, Mark didn't say anything bad about him. More than that though, he didn't know why he would even allow himself to have those thoughts flash through his mind about the younger. Even if it was for a split second, Mark shouldn't be having thoughts like that. That was his friend, his  _ friend _ . And Mark likes girls anyway, not guys,  _ girls _ . He was straight.  _ Straight _ .

Jinyoung sat there for another minute or so before nodding his head. “Okay, I see now.” he said, before getting up off the bed.

Mark watched him as he walked towards the door and left, not once looking back. He stared at the door for a while, almost waiting to see if Jinyoung would come back, but he didn't. Mark even stayed awake late, waiting for that familiar sound of footsteps treading into his room and the feeling of his bed dipping beside him. But that never came.

Mark drifted to sleep alone that night, his bed, for some reason, feeling bigger and emptier with just him in it. He tried to ignore the lonely feeling, as sleeping with Jinyoung didn't change anything, right? It didn't mean anything to him, right? He didn't enjoy feeling Jinyoung body heat next to him as they slept close together, did he?

...Did he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a whole mess lol  
> Anyway, hope you liked it, I'm sorry if I'm slow with updates sometimes because I hit sort of a writers block with my other ongoing story and it affected my progress on this one as well :/  
> Other times tho I'm just throwing out chapters like a machines lmao, so just bear with me plzzzz  
> Thank you <3


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, I updated so fast this time lol.

Mark didn't get much sleep, and he didn't want to think that it was because Jinyoung wasn't there when he woke up. He wasn't sure if the other was mad with him or something, but he seemed angry when he left the night before. Mark wondered why Jinyoung asked him all those things about his sexuality though. He knew he was straight. He knew it for sure. So why did Jinyoung seem so worked up about it?

He didn't know, and that was on his mind nearly all night, this time it was Mark who barely got any sleep before a long day of schedules. Mark got up early in the morning to make himself a cup of coffee, not even Jaebum was up at that time.

He sat on the couch and turned on the television, trying to drown out his own thoughts, but it didn't really work. He still thought about how good yesterday was going before what happened that night. Sure, Mark was having a bit of an off day, but Jinyoung seemed much better than he had been, so that made Mark happy. No matter what, Jinyoung was still his friend, so he still cared deeply about him.

It was strange to Mark, what got Jinyoung so worked up last night, that once scene in the drama they were watching causing the whole fall out in the first place. Jinyoung seemed so passionate about the topic, and he seemed eager to get Mark's opinion, which he gave maybe a bit too much of.

But he told the truth. He wasn't gay. He's never even thought about another guy or their body in that way, that is, besides maybe how cute Jinyoung was at certain moments. But that doesn't count. He just didn't like guys like that. He didn't have anything against gay people, they're welcome to do whatever they pleased. It's just that Mark knew that he wasn't gay himself, and the fact that Jinyoung seemed to doubt that bothered him. 

What made him think that Mark could be gay? Does he “act” gay? Does he “look” gay? Then again, Mark remembered that Jinyoung said the stereotypes about gay people weren't always true. So maybe it was something else besides how Mark looked and acted that gave Jinyoung that thought.

What scared Mark more though, was what he thought about in that brief moment, where Jinyoung was a bit too close for comfort. Mark knows that Jinyoung is a person who likes close proximity, but recently it's just been way too much. And it startled him that the thought of actually  _ kissing _ Jinyoung ran through his mind. He's never thought things like that before. Sure, he  _ has _ kissed Jinyoung before, but only on the cheek and forehead playfully. Now thoughts off full on lip to lip kissing played in his mind, yet he knows that he doesn't like Jinyoung in that way. He know it for sure.  _ Right? _

Mark shook his head, trying to get his thoughts straight. He shouldn't be second guessing himself like that. Mark knows his own self the best, and if he knows that he's straight, then he's straight. There's no argument about it. He like girls and girls like him. There's no arguing that. Just because its it's been a long time since he's dated a girl doesn't mean he’s stopped liking them. And just because he's lived and been around basically only guys for years doesn't mean he's grown to like men. That's just not possible, Mark thought. 

He gathered himself together and went back in to the kitchen to grab something to eat, surprised when he saw Jinyoung sitting at the table. He gasped lightly, and Jinyoung must've heard it since he turned his head to look at where the noise came from. His eyes travelled to Mark's before he turned back around without a word.

Mark walked in quietly, not saying anything to Jinyoung either as he made himself some cereal. He didn't know if he should sit at the table with Jinyoung or go back to the living room to eat. He knows that if he sits with him, it would definitely be awkward, but Mark didn't want to go into the living room and seem like he was avoiding Jinyoung.

Just moments later, as Mark was standing there still trying to decide, Jackson walked in. “Hey guys.”

They both said hi back simultaneously, looking at each other briefly before both quickly averted their eyes.

“You guys scare me when you sync like that…” Jackson said, pulling out bread to make himself some toast.

“Why are you even up? I thought you were Jaebum.” Mark said.

“I don't even know myself.” Jackson whined. “I tried so hard to sleep just a  _ little _ longer, but it's just one of those days where I'm just awake now and there's no going back."

Mark laughed a bit at the wording, deciding to sit at the table since Jackson had joined them for breakfast. He hoped that that would make things a bit less awkward between him and Jinyoung. Jackson sat down at the table and ate his own food, silence spreading through the room again.

“You guys are always quite like this, huh?” Jackson asked after a bit.

Mark shrugged. “I guess.” he responded, glancing at Jinyoung who was on his phone, not paying much attention to either of them.

“Hey, you're  _ really _ quiet today though.” Jackson said, tapping Jinyoung's arm.

Jinyoung looked over at him and shook his head. “I just have nothing to say.”

His tone wasn't cold, but it left a cold impression in the room, Jackson immediately backing off and continuing to eat. Mark looked at Jinyoung once again, the younger almost pretending as if he wasn't there.

They continued eating in silence until Jackson awkwardly excused himself, cleaning up his place and walking back down the hallway to his room. Mark frowned as he watched Jackson leave, knowing that it was because of the awkward atmosphere in the room. Mark wasn't one for conflict, but he felt that maybe talking to Jinylyng could help him figure out what was wrong.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung just glanced at him before looking back at his phone. “Does it look like somethings wrong?” he asked.

Mark sighed, not feeling up to dealing with Jinyoung's sharp tongue. “Yes, actually, judging by the way you basically scared Jackson out of here, it seems like something is very wrong.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “I didn't  _ scare _ him off, he left on his own. Nothing is wrong, so stop worrying about it.” he said, resuming whatever he was doing on his phone.

“Dont lie to me. You've been happy, then upset, then happy again, then upset again; you're starting to act like Youngjae's hormonal ass.” Mark said becoming slightly annoyed.

“No, I'm not.  _ Youngjae _ can't handle his emotions, but  _ I _ can, and when I tell you that there's nothing wrong, you should believe me and just leave it alone.” Jinyoung stated.

“God, this is annoying.” Mark groaned, earning a sharp look from Jinyoung. “Just tell me why you've been so worked up over little things lately. I mean, you stormed out last night because of a drama?”

Jinyoung slammed his phone down to the table, startling Mark. “I didn't storm out because of a  _ drama _ . I left because of the stupid shit you said. It pissed me off, so before I got out of control, I left. Like I said, I can control myself, and I suggest you leave me alone before I can't.”

Mark's jaw dropped at the threatening tone. “Did… did you just threaten me? Over something trivial I said?” he asked.

Jinyoung stood up, grabbing his phone as he headed towards the hall. “Take it however you want to, just stay away from me.”

Mark felt a sudden pain in his chest at those words. He didn't know why it hurt so much, and he was so confused as to why Jinyoung was so upset with him. What did he even do to Jinyoung to make him say that? Mark wasn't one to enjoy arguing though, so he let Jinyoung go and stayed away from him as best as he could, even though they live together and do everything together.

As the group went out for their schedules, Mark and Jinyoung barely talked, even during the recordings of variety shows. The fact that they were usually the quietest two of the group made that fact that they were even mad at each other unnoticeable to the others, as it just seemed like they were being their normal selves.

It was hard for Mark to just ignore Jinyoung though, as he wanted to know why he seems so sensitive lately. Mark just isn't the type of person to take initiative all the time, so dealing with Jinyoung  who has a similar personality, was hard. Other members would just talk out their problems until it's solved, but neither Market nor Jinyoung talked, or wanted to talk, therefore it was just a hanging rain cloud over both of their heads all day.

They came back home from their busy day not too late, so the group decided to do something together. As the week led into the weekend, the boys liked to relax and do something fun, but since none of them knew what to do, they just stayed home drinking and playing board games. Mark had locked himself into his room, wanting to stay as far away as possible from any social interactions with not just Jinyoung, but everyone. The last thing he wanted was to be in a noisy room with the others becoming overly competitive over monopoly.

The others disagreed though, begging Mark to stay and play with them, since every member added to the fun. They knocked on his door constantly, and Mark could tell that they were drinking a bit too much, as they sounded crazy and their words were slurring.

“Maaaark.” he heard Jackson groan from outside if the door.

Mark sighed, ignoring Jackson and continuing watching his online videos.

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaark open up!” Jackson yelled, banging on the door.

Mark rolled his eyes. “Stop that!” he yelled back, the banging stopping immediately.

“Guys he yelled at me!” he heard a drunk Jackson say to the others.

Soon, BamBam joined him at the door. “Mark, come ooon, come out and play!”

“I don't want to.” he said.

“Why? Afraid you'll lose again? Chicken!” Yugyeom suddenly said, making chicken noises at him. Soon after BamBam and Jackson joined in increasing the amount of chicken noises.

“I'm not afraid! Gosh you guys are annoying…” Mark said while shaking his head.

“Mark come out! Mark come out! Mark come out!” Jackson started chanting, and of course the other two had to start chanting as well. Mark also thought he heard Youngjae in the distance joining in too.

He tried to ignore the voices, turning up the volume on his laptop, but they seemed to get louder the more he tried to ignore them. He groaned loudly as their voices grew more annoying by the second. He finally stood from his bed and went to open the door.

“Fine! Just stop yelling so loudly  _ please _ !” Mark said when he opened the door.

The three boys that had gathered outside his door cheered and pulled him into the living room where the games were set up. As he entered, he saw a drunk Youngjae sitting on Jaebum's lap, the two being all touchy and clingy as usual, or maybe a bit more than usual. He then turned and saw Jinyoung sitting in the chair, his cheeks dusted pink, telling Mark that he had been drinking too.

“Okay, were playing Sorry now!” BamBam said, giving Mark a playing piece as he sat on the couch.

Mark sighed. “Okay…”

“Ugh, he's too sober.” Youngjae said, clinging to Jaebum like a koala. 

“He's right, drink up, Mark.” Jackson said, passing a cup full of alcoholic beverage to him that Yugyeom just poured.

“I'd rather not get drunk tonight guys…” Mark said.

“What a debbie downer…” BamBam said while rolling his eyes.

“Come on, you don't have to get completely wasted, just a bit tipsy~” Jackson said, holding the cup out towards Mark.

Mark stared at the cup, the drink inside looking like it might actually taste pretty good. He thought about how basically miserable he's been all day over a pointless fight with Jinyoung, and the other guys seemed to be having fun, so maybe just one drink or so could help loosen him up a bit and forget about all his worries.

He took the drink and sipped it, the others cheering as they finally got Mark to join them in their night of games and fun. Mark smiled, the drink actually tasting really good, even though he could taste how much alcohol was in it, which was a lot.

“Damn, this is strong. You guys have been drinking this all night?” Mark asked.

Jackson grinned at him. “Yep! With complements to me! I even got Youngjae all wasted, and he holds his liquor pretty well! I should be a bartender or something…”

Mark giggled, the effects of the alcohol already setting in on him. He played board games with the others and Jinyoung didn't even pop up into his mind even though they were less than ten feet away from each other. Mark was focused on having fun and the alcohol fueled that, as Mark drank not just that one cup Jackson had given him earlier, but two or three more after that of the strong mixture. He ended up getting drunk himself, feeling too good to care.

They were up late into the night, being loud and crazy as it went on. Eventually Youngjae and Jaebum had disappeared into one of their rooms, the others barely noticing as the night somehow turned into a dance party. Jinyoung sat in the chair watching everyone have fun, just sipping his drink as he realized that someone had to be at least close to sober in case one of the others do something stupid. The drink was so strong though, that it was hard not to get too wasted.

Of course there came a point though, where everyone became tired out and they were all close to dropping to the floor and sleeping. Members slowly left the living room one by one, BamBam being the last to go, leaving Jinyoung and Mark alone together.

Somehow they ended up sitting near each other, probably when BamBam tripped over the table and Jinyoung helped him up, sitting on the couch where Mark was to make sure he was okay. Mark felt so drunk, and he was  _ very _ drunk. Even though getting himself in the state was irresponsible, it felt good to have irresponsible moments, as their jobs require them to have more responsibility that they probably shouldn't have at their young ages. He groaned though, feeling light headed as his body was splayed out on the couch.

“You… okay?” Jinyoung  asked, looking over at the red faced elder.

“Mmmm" Mark groaned, it was supposed to be a yes, but he forgot how to speak for a second. He was surprised though, that Jinyoung wanted to talk to him all of a sudden.

“You're freakin trashed…” Jinyoung said, commenting on Mark's drunken state.

“You are too…” Mark responded.

“Not as bad as you though.”  Jinyoung said.

“Oh, so now you wanna talk to me and just comment on how wasted I am? That's all you habe to say?” Mark asked.

“Look, you can't even speak properly. I'm still pissed at you anyway.” Jinyoung said, pointing at Mark before dropping his head. 

Mark sighed. “What the fuck did I even do?” he asked.

“You said some… some…  uh, bullshit! That's what you did.” Jinyoung slurred as he sat up and looked at the elder.

Mark looked back at him. “You can't even remember, and you talk about  _ me _ being trashed?” he commented.

“I do remember! You said bullshit about gay people like… like that prejudiced bitch in the drama!” Jinyoung yelled.

“No I didn't! I told you that gay pebbles were fine, but I wasn't gay. That's it! How was that offensive?” Mark asked.

“Gay  _ pebbles _ ? How much did you fucking drink that you're saying gay pebbles, Mark?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark looked up at the ceiling, humming as he thought. “I dunno, six or seven drinks.”

“I've only had three and a half, so you're twice as drunk as me.” Jinyoung said proudly.

“Oh so it's a competition now? How does it feel being the most sober and the  _ least _ fun?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung sighed. “So now we're insulting each other? How mature Mark…”

“It's not an insult if it's a fact.” Mark said, digging deeper under Jinyoung's skin.

“Ugh, shut up! I would slap you if you weren't so fucking cute…” he said.

“I know I'm cute, which is why I get all the girls. You know, ‘ _ Every lady wants a piece of me _ ’?”

Jinyoung stared at Mark for minute before suddenly bursting into laughter, Mark simultaneously joining him.

“Oh my God you're so fucking cringey…” Jinyoung said, slapping Mark's shoulder.

Mark shrugged. “Hey that line has worked for me since we debuted, I'm not abandoning it now.”

Jinyoung laughed some more, before quieting down and staring at Mark. Mark noticed him staring, looking back at the younger. 

“What?” he asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Nothing… just… did you mean it?” he asked.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. “Mean what?”

Jinyoung was silent again, hesitating before speaking. “Well, two things… one, did you mean that you loved me? When you said it yesterday…”

Mark paused, waiting for his alcohol submerged brain to process the question. “Uh, yeah of course. Nyoungie has been with me since forever, like, since I came to Korea, and I love you a lot. You've helped me though these years. I mean, I love everyone else too but… it's weird to say out loud.”

Jinyoung smiled at his nickname and how cute Mark sounded speaking like that. “Okay… and two, did you mean what you said about… guys? That you'd never try it? Like, ever?” he asked.

Mark was quiet for a bit, his eyebrows furrowing as he thought about his answer. “Uh, kind of?” he responded.

“Oh…” Jinyoung looked down at the couch, his shoulders slumping.

“But…” Mark started to say, Jinyoung quickly looking back up at him. “...like, I've never tried it, so I don't really know the appeal.” 

Jinyoung nodded, understanding that perspective. “Well… it's not that different from girls…” Jinyoung commented.

Mark looked over at him. “How do you know? Have you…” Mark trailed off, not finishing his statement.

Jinyoung knew what he was going to ask though, and nodded his head in response. “...Once. Just once.” he said.

“Oh…” Mark responded.

The room was quiet again, silence settling in the room until Mark broke it again.

“So… how is it like?” 

Jinyoung looked over at Mark, his eyes wide as he leaned in closer to make sure he heard him correctly.

“What?” he asked.

“You know… being with… a guy. How's it like?” Mark repeated.

Jinyoung seemed surprised by the question, and Mark was too at the fact that he even asked it. But he was a bit curious. It couldn't  hurt to just ask.

“Its… um… like I said, not much different than a girl.” Jinyoung said, looking at Mark who was gazing back at him.

“And… what about like… kissing and stuff? Doesn't that feel weird?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “No, not really. Feels just the same as kissing anyone else.” he replied.

Mark nodded, looking away briefly before shifting closer to Jinyoung. “Um… and like, the  _ other _ stuff? You know… how does… sex feel?”

Jinyoung shifted a bit uncomfortably on the couch before letting out a breath and answering. “Um… it’s… good. If you do it right, it can be pretty amazing…”

Mark just stared at Jinyoung, nothing going through his slow mind besides just looking at his face. Jinyoung stared back, biting his lip before speaking again.

“Mark are you… curious?” he asked.

Mark looked away, not sure how to answer. “I don't know if I'm  _ curious _ , but… I was just… asking…”

Jinyoung moved closer to Mark, their legs now touching just slightly. “I mean… you can always try it, you know…” he said 

Mark felt his heart beating harder as Jinyoung came closer, the heat from his body sending warmth through Mark's. He felt a shiver run through him when Jinyoung's arm brushed against his own.

“I… um…” Mark couldn't take his eyes off of Jinyoung's. His thoughts were blurry and he didn't even remember what he was saying as just Jinyoung clouded his vision. 

“Do you want to? Try it, I mean…” Jinyoung asked, his eyes travelling to Mark's lips as he leaned in closer.

Mark swallowed hard as Jinyoung neared, their faces only centimeters apart. He could feel Jinyoung's breath ghost across his face and he suddenly lost all ability to speak. The room felt as if it heated up a thousand degrees, and all Mark could focus on at the time was Jinyoung's movements.

“Just… trust me…” Jinyoung whispered against Mark's lips before fully pressing them together.

Mark's eyes were wide as their lips touched, but they quickly closed as the warm feeling of Jinyoung's mouth against his own ran through him. Jinyoung was gripping Mark's collar as their lips glided smoothly against each other, almost making sure the elder couldn't escape. Their chests pressed together and Mark could only feel intense heat between them. His brain couldn't fully comprehend what exactly was happening or what was going on, but all he knew what that he liked it.  _ A lot _ .

Mark got more into the kiss, suddenly returning the pressure that Jinyoung placed on his own lips. Jinyoung whimpered when he felt Mark pressing back against him, and Mark didn't really know what happened in that moment. His brain was cloudy and his thoughts were blurry and he was drunk as hell, but in the next second Mark was pushing Jinyoung into the couch kissing him almost desperately.

Jinyoung gasped against Mark's lips as he felt his back hit the leather of the couch with Mark almost pinning him down to it. Jinyoung could taste the alcohol on Mark's lips, and soon his tongue, as the elder took no time to lick into the youngers mouth. Mark has no idea what came over him, but for some reason, he all of a sudden desperately wanted the man under him. He was acting like a hungry animal, devouring his prey, who was caught completely off guard by Mark's sudden dominance.

He allowed his hands to run all around Jinyoung body, from his neck to his chest to his thighs, Mark wanted to feel it all. The way Jinyoung's lips and mouth tasted and how soft his skin felt and how warm he was nearly drove Mark insane. Mark was enjoying kissing a man way too much, but in the moment he didn't care, it felt too good to stop. He wouldn't have stopped either, if it weren't for Jinyoung pushing him off.

Mark pulled away, removing his hands from the younger as he pushed at Mark's chest. Mark looked at him with a confused look in his face, almost sad that they had to stop. Jinyoung had started it, and was into it for just a few minutes, before pushing Mark away. He was acting weird.

“I'm…  sorry… I shouldn't have started that, I… this was a mistake.” Jinyoung said, quickly jumping off the couch and leaving.

Mark watched him go, hearing the door to his room close down the hall. He just ran off, and Mark was left still wishing to have those lips back in front of him. He was confused, and tired, and drunk, and he knew he was gonna have a wicked hangover when he wakes up. All he could really do in that moment though, was collapse on the couch, the alcohol in his system taking over and dragging him to sleep, with dreams of Jinyoung playing through his head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I accidentally foreshadowed the kiss lmao I guess I did learn a thing or two in English class XD. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this absolute mess of a chapter. I dont even know what happened myself tbh....


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is sort of a long ass chapter lol, at least a lot longer than the other ones. A lot of crazy stuff goes down and I got caught up in writing soo I accidentally made it pretty long and i was gonna wait to post it, but i decided I needed to post it ASAP
> 
> 2\. I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING DRUNK OR DRINKING AT ALL SO IM SORRY IF IT'S NOT PORTRAYED ACCURATELY (should've said this in last chapter too lmao)
> 
> 3\. Uh there was a third thing but I forgot so if I remember it'll be here lol

Mark woke up and immediately felt sick. He rushed to the bathroom and threw up the contents of his stomach into the toilet, only to be pushed to the side as BamBam came out of nowhere and threw up as well. Mark sat on the floor, his back leaned up against the wall, his head spinning as BamBam finished spewing his guts into the toilet.

They both sat there, breathing hard as they tried to keep down the rest of their insides. Mark looked over at BamBam, who looked terrible, before remembering that he probably looked just as bad.

“I drank way to fucking much.” BamBam said, quickly leaning over the toilet again as he dry heaved into the bowl, having nothing left in him to come out.

Mark looked away, not wanting to induce another wave of vomit out of himself from watching BamBam. “I think we all did…” Mark mumbled, looking out the bathroom doorway from where he sat at the mess they made last night.

Suddenly, sharp pain throbbed in Mark's head. “Ah, fuck!” he yelled while clutching his head.

BamBam looked over to see what was wrong. “You okay?”

Mark hissed before answering. “It's just a shitty headache, it hurts like hell…” Mark replied, sweat forming at his temple.

“Come on…” BamBam said, pulling him up from the floor.

Mark winced as movement made his head feel worse, but BamBam helped him walk back to the couch, and they both dropped their bodies on it, resting after their shared throw up session.

“Thanks Bam… I feel like shit…” Mark said, his mind still not all completely there.

“That's a hangover for you…” BamBam said, his head lolling over onto Mark's shoulder.

The two sat there silently before they were startled by a door slamming open against the wall. “Why is it so fucking bright in here!?” they heard Jackson yell from the hallway.

“Because it's morning Jackson, what is wrong with you?” BamBam yelled back as Jackson approached the living room.

“You know the light bothers my eyes when I'm hungover, close the curtains!” Jackson said, flopping himself in a chair.

“No, that's stupid…” Mark said, getting a grunt in response.

“So, what were you guys doing? Making out?” Jackson asked, making both of them cringe away from each other.

“Ew no, we were throwing up together.” BamBam said.

Jackson made a face of disgust. “Jeez, I was just joking about the making out thing, but I'd rather have that image in my mind instead of you two puking together…”

“Friends who throw up together, grow up together!” BamBam said, making the other two laugh.

“I guess he's right…” Mark said, distracted by trying to remember everything that happened last night.

He looked around at the mess of cups and food and wrappers left by everyone, knowing that they had to clean up everything soon. He tried to use the items he saw to help him remember. The last thing he could remind himself of was when he got upset that he lost a board game again, and that was it. Everything after that was a drunken blur. There was some random things he can remember, but it's just in bits and pieces, nothing he could really make anything of.

“Has anyone seen Jinyoung?” Jackson asked, bringing Mark back to reality at hearing his name.

“No… I remember going to bed after leaving him and Mark together, that's the last time I saw him.” BamBam recalled.

Mark tried to remember being left alone with Jinyoung, thinking he'd remember that. He just couldn't though, he remembered Jinyoung's drunk face so close to his own, but they were talking about something, and then the memory fades away.

Jackson groaned. “Jinyoung's good at dealing with hangovers… I need him…”

“I guess he's still asleep…” Mark mumbled.

They both looked over at Mark, who had been quiet until then. Jackson seemed to suddenly remember something, turning to Mark.

“Oh yeah, he sleeps in your room around this time since it’s cold in his room, right? He's in there, right?” Jackson asked.

Mark shook his head. “ _I_ didn't even make it to my bed last night, I crashed on the couch, so I doubt he's in my room.”

Jackson's shoulders slumped as he groaned again, leaning back in his chair with his head thrown back. Mark for some reason wanted to double check though, so he got up from the couch, leaving the two in the living room complaining about their hangovers and headed back to his room.

He was in fact surprised, when he saw Jinyoung's body sprawled out across his bed. He didn't think that Jinyoung would be sleeping in his room, especially after their fight, but there he was, looking so comfortable in Mark's sheets. Mark walked quietly into his room, practically tiptoeing to the bed.

He looked over the sleeping man in his bed, noticing how the sun casted a golden glow on his face. He admired the creamy texture of his face and the soft pink of his plump lips. Mark has wondered before how Jinyoung could be so etherally handsome, and yet to this day he still couldn't figure it out.

He suddenly realized how long he'd just been staring at Jinyoung, shaking himself out of the trance. He sat down in the bed next to Jinyoung, deciding to wake him gently with a light shake of his shoulder. Jinyoung's eye fluttered opened, with Mark immediately noticing how pretty his eyelashes were. Jinyoung's eyes focused on Mark, who was able to see the crisp brown color of his eyes clearly in the sunlight. Mark stared at them, almost becoming lost in the pools of brown, before shaking his head of these thought. Mark wondered briefly what was wrong with him and why he was all of a sudden noticing these seemingly random things about Jinyoung.

As Jinyoung blinked a few times and recognized who was in front of him, he immediately scrambled away, crawling to the other side of the bed. Mark watched him in confusion.

“H-Hi…” Jinyoung said, nervousness in his voice.

“Um, hi…” Mark replied.

“I… um, I… don't know how I got here…” Jinyoung said, looking around as he noticed he was in Mark's room.

“Oh, it's fine. I woke up on the couch anyway…” Mark said, giving a small smile.

“We were crazy last night, huh…” Jinyoung asked, looking at the clock, probably checking the time.

Mark nodded. “Yeah, how much of it do you even remember? I remember like, bits and pieces.”

“Bits and pieces?” Jinyoung repeated. “I remember most of it… some parts are blurry, but for the most part, I was the most sober out of all of us… I mean, there's _nothing_ you really remember clearly?” clearly he asked.

Mark shook his head. “No… not really. Not like, _really_ clearly…”

Jinyoung's eyebrows furrowed, his body leaning in closer to Mark's. “Nothing? Like, nothing at all?”

Mark frowned, trying his hardest to remember, but he really couldn't. He shook his head.

“Nothing like… specific? Like… something between… us?” Jinyoung's eyes held a desperate look in them as he asked Mark again.

“Jinyoung I… I'm sorry, I don't know what you want me to remember… I just don't remember…” Mark said, wondering what exactly happened last night that Jinyoung was pushing Mark to remember.

Jinyoung leaned back slowly, his eyes dropping to look at the bed. He looked sad suddenly, and Mark didn’t know what to do besides stare at the other.

“I see…” Jinyoung said, his voice quiet.

“I mean… what exactly happened?” Mark asked, thinking that if Jinyoung tells him, he could possibly remember himself.

Jinyoung instead shook his head, looking anywhere else but at Mark. “No… no, nothing happened, I just… um, I'm going to go eat something.” he then quickly got up and left the room, leaving Mark baffled.

Mark watched Jinyoung go, staring at how thin his waist was and how even after just waking up, his posture was impeccable. He looked until the younger was out of sight, blinking out of his trance and rubbing his face. He’d been admiring Jinyoung since he walked into the room and saw him sleeping, but he couldn’t figure out where these thoughts came from. It was true that there were some things he admittedly liked about Jinyoung, like his body shape and soft hair, but suddenly almost everything seemed to pop out to Mark, even down to how evenly he breaths when relaxed.

Mark shook his head, telling himself that these were just normal thoughts friends have about each other. If you have a good looking friend, it doesn’t hurt to admit it, and Mark definitely didn’t think Jinyoung was ugly. Quite the contrary, actually. Instead of dwelling on the topic though, he just got up and followed after Jinyoung into the kitchen where he saw him standing at the counter with Jackson clinging to him as BamBam was sitting at the table to eat.

“Jinyounnng everything hurts….” he heard Jackson whine.

“It’s because you guys were going crazy last night, you probably have sore muscles from all the jumping around and dancing you did….” Jinyoung responded.

Mark walked in and quietly sat at the table with BamBam, deciding to just listen in on the conversation rather than interrupt or join it. He felt something in his chest though, as he watched Jackson wrap his arms around Jinyoung. He felt a bit uncomfortable, like he shouldn’t look at them like that. Yet he stayed quiet, not wanting to make his presence obvious.

“See, I knew you’d know what was wrong! That's why I needed you, take care of me Jinyoung~” Jackson said.

Jinyoung giggled, gently tugging at Jackson’s arms. ”Are you still drunk or something? You can take care of yourself, all you need is some rest.”

Jackson leaned onto Jinyoung, the younger having to hold on to the counter to support both of their weight. “Yeah, but it feels better when someone takes care of you rather than just doing it yourself.” He said, resting his head on Jinyoung's shoulder as he pouted.

Mark looked away, the scene in front of him reminding him of a few days before when Jinyoung did nearly the same thing, the memory of Jinyoung's body pressed against his back running through his mind. He briefly imagined holding the younger himself, before waving the thought away. Jinyoung got all these weird thoughts flowing in Marks head that he knew wasn’t normal, yet recently he’s been wondering about it since they had that fight about the drama they watched.

Jinyoung sighed and rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed with Jackson even though he was obviously smiling. “Fine, eat your breakfast then go back to bed, I’ll come check on you in a little bit.”

Jackson grinned, then gave Jinyoung a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “This is why I love you! Wang gae…?”

Jinyoung covered his mouth as he laughed, knowing that he couldn’t leave Jackson hanging. “Park gae…” he mumbled, Jackson squealing in response before turning to join the other two at the table.

He paused in his tracks though, as he saw Mark glaring at him from the table. “ Uh, Mark?”

Mark blinked, not realizing that he had been staring at the two for so long. “Y-Yes?”

“Nothing it’s just… I mean if looks could kill I’d be dead right about now judging by the way you were just looking at me…” Jackson said.

“He’s looked like that ever since he sat down, I thought he was mad at you or Jinyoung for something.” BamBam commented while shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

Jackson looked back at Mark. “Are you okay? Mad about something?” He asked. Mark saw Jinyoung quickly turn his head at the sound of Mark's name, staring at the elder expressionlessly.

“No, I’m fine, I didn’t even realize I looked so upset, sorry…” Mark replied, even though he was a bit annoyed by their touchiness.

It reminded him of when he’d see Youngjae and Jaebum together, that feeling he just can’t handle when he sees the couple doing lovey dovey things. It felt exactly like that, but a bit worse. Was it because it was Jinyoung? No, that couldn’t be it, why would he be upset about Jackson hanging all over Jinyoung? He wasn’t… _jealous_. Even though that word seemed to fit his feelings perfectly, there was absolutely no way he was jealous. Especially not because of his friends being a bit too close. Definitely not because of that.

“Oh, Okay…” Jackson said, slowly taking a seat at the table with his breakfast in front of him.

“Jinyoung, are you not hungover?” BamBam asked, noticing how much better he looked than the rest of them did.

“Of course I am, just a bit of dizziness though. You guys drank a ton more than I did, so your hangovers are pretty bad.” Jinyoung said as he approached the table with his own food.

“I feel like passing out right now…” Jackson groaned.

“Yeah same, but Yugyeom must be worse, he hasn’t even gotten up yet, and it’s already pretty late.” BamBam said, probably worrying about his friend.

“Neither did the two lovebirds either…” Jackson added.

For some reason, Mark glanced up at Jinyoung who sat in front of him after Jackson has said the word “lovebirds”. He was surprised when he saw Jinyoung looking at him too, both quickly looking away as soon as they made eye contact.

Mark couldn’t figure out why he was so on edge about Jinyoung suddenly. Not just because Jinyoung had been acting weird, but he just felt nervous in front of him. Like if he does one thing wrong, Jinyoung would hate him forever. Mark knew that thought was a bit extreme and over dramatic, which doesn’t fit his personality at all, but sitting there with Jinyoung just a few feet in front of him made him feel incredibly anxious.

“Uh, well, I’m gonna go shower…” Mark said, as he realized he slept in the same clothes he wore the day before, suddenly feeling dirty.

The others nodded at him, except Jinyoung who just paid him no attention, and he cleaned up his food and left. He quickly undressed, longing to feel the steamy droplets on his body from almost 24 hours of no contact with the shower. He usually washes quickly, but for some reason, his mind kept wandering off, distracting him from what he went in there to do.

He leaned against the wall of the shower, thinking about what happened to make Jinyoung so upset. All he could remember was fighting about the drama, then ignoring him for the rest of the day. Then, when the members were playing board games and drinking later that night, Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom had dragged him out of hiding to join them. He remembers drinking that first drink, and looking at Jinyoung whose face was red from the alcohol he’d already been consuming.

After that, things get blurry. Jinyoung was the last memory he had, only remembering how his cheeks were dusted a light pink. He wondered what happened the night before that Jinyoung wanted Mark to remember. He had mentioned it was something that happened specifically between them, so what could they have done? Mark had no recollection, and he tried to imagine what could’ve happened.

Suddenly, the image of Jinyoung's drunken red face coming really close to his own popped into his mind. Their lips only centimeters apart as Jinyoung whispered something against Mark's before fully pressing them together...

“No!” Mark scolded himself, allowing the water from the shower to run across his face.

How could he think of that? That was probably the very last thing that could’ve happened last night. Mark knows he wasn’t the type to get horny when drunk. Sure, he might do or say careless things without thinking twice, but definitely not become senselessly attracted to anyone nearby. And to Jinyoung of all people? He’s been on Mark's mind a lot recently, and this was the second time Mark pictured them kissing. There was no way those thoughts could actually mean something though. And there was absolutely no way that he would have kissed Jinyoung. He’s a man, and Mark doesn’t kiss men.

That thought brought Mark back to the fight they had and how Jinyoung got so upset over it. He seemed so attached to the topic, and the only reason why Mark could think Jinyoung would be so sensitive about it was if it touched him personally. Was Jinyoung gay? Mark wondered. He’d never asked though. He didn’t think that any of the members were gay, not at first, at least. Not until Jaebum and Youngjae started showing strong attraction towards each other, and in more than just a friendly way, with all the looks and stares of lust driven people.

That was it though, Mark thought. Just those two. He did suspect Jackson, with how touchy the guy could get, but Mark figured that that was just Jackson’s personality. Mark didn’t think the maknaes were gay either, they were just some normal kids, not even worried about that sort of stuff yet. But now with Jinyoung being so suddenly clingy and getting so worked up over something Mark had said the other night, he wasn’t too sure if he had the same opinion about Jinyoung anymore.

Either way, whether Jinyoung preferred a man or a woman, Mark still loved him. He really has nothing against gay people, it’s just not his thing personally. If Jinyoung comes out, then Mark would still think of him as the same old Jinyoung he thinks of him as now. With the soft hair, nice body, pretty eyes, super soft and creamy skin, plump pink lips, beautiful smile-

Mark's thoughts were interrupted by a weird noise he heard through the wall. He was startled by it, listening closely to see if he’d hear it again. He heard another noise, and later on another, and his jaw almost hit the floor of the shower as he recognized that it was Youngjae’s moans coming from the room next door.

“Oh my god… can they be anymore fucking careless?” Mark mumbled to himself, quickly turning off the water and jumping out of the shower.

Mark walked out of the bathroom, seeing BamBam in the hallway on the way to his room.

“Mark? You look pissed, are you sure you’re okay?” BamBam asked.

Mark sighed, stopping to face the younger. “Well I _was_ okay, but as you can see, I just got out of the shower, and I probably would’ve stayed in there longer if our responsible leader and powerful vocal weren’t fucking in the room right next to it.” He rolled his eyes as he left a wide eyed BamBam out in the hallway and headed into his room.

He put on some clothes and groaned as he had to try and forget ever hearing those noises from Youngjae’s room… again. This is exactly why Mark hates them still being in the golden days of their relationship. All they want to do is say “I love you” and kiss and hug and drag each other into the bedroom… and the other members have to deal with it because those two didn’t care. He couldn’t wait for them to get out of the honeymoon phase so Mark doesn’t have to experience that ever again.

He decided that since his hangover was slowly fading, and his mind was cursed with the sound of Youngjae’s moans, the only way he could drown everyone and everything out was through doing what he often did at these times, playing his video game. He put on some clothes and headed to the living room, looking down the hall towards Youngjae’s room before rolling his eyes and continuing the opposite direction.

Of course, just to his luck, Jinyoung was in the living room on his phone as Mark entered. He hesitated once he saw the younger, but decided to continue, as long as he just ignores Jinyoung and not cause any problems. He went and turned on his video game, almost feeling Jinyoung's eyes on him as he tried his best not to pay attention to the younger.

“Am I in your way?” Jinyoung suddenly asked, making Mark almost jump out of his skin.

“Ah, n-no you can stay there if you want, I’m just going to play my game…” Mark said awkwardly, hoping Jinyoung didn’t notice him get startled.

“Oh, Okay.” Jinyoung said, looking back at his phone.

Mark sat on the couch just next to Jinyoung with his controller, shifting uncomfortably away from him. He saw the younger turn his head towards him out of the corner of his eye, suddenly becoming nervous with Jinyoung's eyes on him.

“You smell good.” Jinyoung said out of nowhere, making Mark gulp.

“I just showered…” he responded.

“Yeah, your hair is still wet… and I overheard you tell BamBam the reason why you came out of there.” Jinyoung said.

Mark glanced over at him. “Oh, really? Yeah it was uh… pretty awkward…” Mark said with a short chuckle.

After that, the room was quiet, except for the sound of Mark's game filling the room. They sat there, somewhat awkwardly, yet somewhat comfortably, both seeming like they wanted to leave and stay at the same time. Mark tried to just focus on his game, but every now and then Jinyoung would shift his body and Mark would glance over, unable to keep his mind off of the man next to him. After losing another game because of thinking about Jinyoung, Mark decided that just sitting there wasn’t helping and he needed to just get it off his chest.

He put the controller down on the table and turned to the other, who noticed Mark looking at him.

“Uh, Jinyoung…”

Jinyoung turned his body fully towards Mark, staring at him as he waited for Mark to continue.

“I just… can you tell me exactly what happened last night?” Mark asked, hoping to get some sort of explanation from him.

Jinyoung's eyes dimmed, a sad look glazing over them. “Nothing… Nothing happened…”

Mark furrowed his brows, wondering why Jinyoung was hiding it from him. “Jinyoung, I… I know something happened, and by the way you acted, you seem like you want me to remember, but I can’t if you don’t help me…”

Jinyoung shook his head, looking away from the elder. “No… I’m telling you, nothing happened… it’s… not important.”

Mark felt let down, as he had hoped Jinyoung would tell him exactly what happened the night before. “But- “

Jinyoung reached over and grabbed Mark's hand, squeezing it as he spoke. “Mark, _nothing_ happened. Don’t worry about it, okay?” Jinyoung said with a smile, then leaving the room before Mark could protest.

Mark sat there, feeling as if he’d missed out on something important last night. He didn’t know what sort of important thing he could’ve done while completely drunk, but he felt that it was important to Jinyoung, and he wanted to know. He was upset that Jinyoung didn’t want to tell him, and he couldn’t even continue playing his game afterwards. He turned it off and went to hide in his room, laying on his bed with his face buried, soon after a knock coming to his door.

He looked at his closed door, debating if he should tell the person to come in or not. He was afraid that it was Jinyoung, but suddenly, the door opened without warning and in stepped Jackson.

“Heyyy.” Jackson said as he came in.

Mark dropped his head back down onto his pillow, thinking that he should’ve recognized Jackson’s knock and enter without permission habit.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” Mark asked, his voice coming out muffled.

“I was, and Jinyoung just checked up on me like I asked him to, so I decided to come visit you and play some games?” Jackson said, watching as the elder rolled around and groaned on his bed. “Are you okay?” Jackson asked.

Mark grunted, the sound muffled in the pillow.

“Oh no, what’s wrong?” Jackson asked. Mark could feel the bed dip next to him as Jackson sat on his bed.

“Nothing…” Mark mumbled into his pillow.

“Don’t tell me that, come on, what’s wrong?” Jackson pulled at Mark's shoulder until the other turned around to face him.

Mark sighed, figuring that telling Jackson what was wrong couldn’t hurt. “It’s… nothing really important… but, I’ve just been having a bit of trouble lately…”

Jackson nodded. “Like what?” He asked, making a motion with his hand for Mark to continue.

“...I-I don’t know… just… with Jinyoung…” Mark said, looking down at the bed sheet. “...it’s just, he’s been really weird to me lately…”

“Weird? Really? He seems pretty normal to me…” Jackson said, looking up at the ceiling as if he’s trying to remember Jinyoung acting strange.

Mark sighed. “Jaebum said that too… maybe it’s just me then…”

Jackson shook his head. “No, just because we don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. You might just connect with Jinyoung more to be able to see the small changes in him.”

Mark thought about it, trying not to smile at the fact that he might be the closest person to Jinyoung out of all of them, even Jaebum. He didn’t know why hearing that made him so happy, but he felt it warm his heart.

“Well… it’s just this one thing in particular that keeps bothering me at the moment…” Mark said, trailing off as he got lost in thought again.

“What is it?”Jackson asked.

“Jackson, do you… remember anything from last night? Anything happening? Specifically between me and Jinyoung?” Mark asked, hoping that Jackson could shed some light on that dark part of his memory.

Jackson shook his head. “No.. I don’t remember you two even talking much at all… of course, my own memory is quite blurred since I was pretty drunk too… but you two pretty much stayed away from each other the whole night, I think.”

That only confused Mark more, if they didn’t even talk to each other, how could anything significant have happened between them? Mark didn’t understand what had Jinyoung so worked up earlier that morning, no matter how hard he tried to remember.

“Oh…” Mark sighed.

“But…” Jackson started, making Mark look over at him. “I left before you two did, I was the first one to leave after Jaebum and Youngjae disappeared. So maybe something happened while I wasn’t in there? My best bet is to ask BamBam or Yugyeom, they were there longer than I was.”

Mark felt slightly better as Jackson had given him a sliver of hope. “Oh, okay, thanks.”

Jackson placed a hand on Mark's back, rubbing it in circles. “Don’t worry, Jinyoung is the type of person that’ll eventually come around to you if something’s wrong, so you’ll know at some point or another.” He said flashing a smile.

Mark smiled back, happy that Jackson could make him feel at least a little better, even when he barely knows what’s going on. “Thank you Jackson~” Mark said in a cute voice, making Jackson squeal.

“I think you need a special one of a kind Jackson Wang approved hug!” Jackson said, immediately squishing Mark in between his arms as the elder giggled uncontrollably.

“Get off me!” He squealed, only making Jackson squeeze him tighter.

“Remember, those are rare and one of a kind, but they’re guaranteed to make anyone feel better.” Jackson said when he finally released Mark.

“Oh wow, you’re right, I feel a lot better.” Mark said, playing along with Jackson’s act. “So, you still wanna play?” Mark asked.

Jackson nodded. “That’s what I came in here for anyway, before you wanted to be all sad.”

Mark shoved him in the arm playfully before grabbing his laptop from his nightstand. Him and Jackson played online multiplayer games all day, helping Mark take his mind off of Jinyoung. The two played, talked about random things, and sometimes just laid there in silence for hours. Mark just enjoyed the presence of his friend that was easy to talk to, and he didn’t have to worry about anything with him.

Later in the evening, the two were napping with Jackson’s head on Mark's lower stomach, when a knock came to Mark's door. Mark woke, hearing the knocking only faintly in his sleep, until he heard it again.

“Come in…” He said, rubbing his eyes as he woke.

He blinked a few times before registering Jinyoung's head peeking into the door, staring at the two of them before saying what he came there for.

“Um, we bought dinner…” Jinyoung said, looking down at Jackson who was still resting peacefully.

Mark blinked a few more times to clear the sleep from his eyes. “O-Oh, okay, thanks.”

Jinyoung nodded before quietly pulling his head back out and closing the door. Mark then looked down at Jackson, shaking him awake. The man groaned, snuggling his head deeper into Mark's stomach.

“Stop, that tickles!” He said while giggling. “Dinner is here, so I suggest you get up of you don’t want the others to eat it all.”

That got Jackson up, almost immediately. “Alright, I’m going.”

Mark shook his head and laughed at the effects food can have on people. He got up too, him and Jackson joining the others at the table. This was the first time Mark had seen Jaebum and Youngjae all day, and they still looked as if they were recovering from their hangovers.

“Oh wow, the two lovebirds decided to finally come out of their rooms, huh?” Jackson said once he saw them.

“More like they finally decided to come out of their love making chamber…” Mark mumbled, making Youngjae choke on his food and Jaebum snort.

“I’m sorry… d-did we um… disturb you again?” Jaebum asked, his face turning red, but not as red as Youngjae’s which already resembled a tomato.

Mark nodded, but didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it. “Let’s just say… I had a very unpleasant shower this morning…” Mark said.

“This morning? You guys just do it as soon as you wake up? You guys have no shame…” Yugyeom said, who had also been hidden in his room until recently.

“Yeah, Mark was pretty upset about it…” BamBam said quietly.

“S-Sorry, we were… drunk yesterday and we didn’t really think much about it this morning…” Jaebum said, trying to find an excuse for them.

“Do you guys just want each other all the time? Like, you don’t get tired of each other at some point?” Jackson asked as he stuffed more food in his mouth.

Youngjae shook his head, grinning to himself, while Jaebum spoke. “Never. At least not now. We’re still in the early stages, so it’s hard to get tired of someone you’ve been with for only a short while.”

“Well, I know I told you to not do it when we’re trying to sleep, but that doesn’t mean do it when we’re all wide awake either…” Mark said, feeling awkward about the whole situation.

“Sorry… we’ll be more considerate of when we… uh… you know.” Jaebum said, patting Youngjae’s thigh who nodded in agreement.

“Youngjae never says anything when you guys get caught.” Jinyoung suddenly mentioned.

“Because it’s embarrassing!” Youngjae finally said, his face turning a whole shade deeper of red.

The others laughed, knowing that Youngjae isn’t good in awkward situations. They continued eating dinner, mostly complaining about how bad their hangovers were, until all the food was finished and everyone was full.

Mark went back to his room, hoping to finally get a good night's sleep. He prepared for bed, almost forgetting to wash his face, so he headed back out to,the bathroom. He saw the light already on and the door closed so he waited outside the room for whoever was in there to come out.

As the door finally opened, Mark saw Jinyoung standing there staring at him. “Jeez, are you everywhere I go?” He asked.

“I should be the one asking you that…” Mark responded, getting a small smirk out of the younger.

Jinyoung walked out of the bathroom, leaving the light on for Mark. Mark though, suddenly had the urge to keep Jinyoung there with him, he wanted him to stay. So he reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping Jinyoung in his tracks. Jinyoung looked back, puzzled as to why Mark grabbed him.

“Wait, just… I wanna talk to you.” Mark said, pulling the younger back.

Jinyoung stood in the doorway of the bathroom as Mark went to the sink and started washing his face.

“I’m still curious.” Mark said, glancing at Jinyoung as he lathered soap on his face.

Jinyoung sighed, as if he was tired of this topic. “Mark, nothing happened.”

Mark bent over and washed the soap off of his face, then turning around to grab a towel. “Stop lying.” He said while drying his face.

“Who said I was lying? I’m serious, nothing happened. Stop talking about it.” Jinyoung said, about to walk off.

Mark dropped the towel in his hand and grabbed Jinyoung's arm again, pulling the younger into the bathroom. He spun them around and closed the door, locking it and standing in front of it so Jinyoung couldn’t leave again.

“The hell…?” Jinyoung trailed off, watching Mark's weird behavior. “Let me out.”

“No, we’re talking about this now, okay?” Mark said, trying to be more demanding, but failing a little.

Jinyoung sighed and rolled his eyes. “Your wasting your time…”

“Jinyoung, just tell me what happened.” Mark said.

“Nothing... nothing happened.” He replied.

“What happened?” Mark tried saying with more force in his voice, only to get the same reply back with more force.

“Nothing Mark, stop it already!” Jinyoung said, becoming irritated.

“Tell me what happened last night! I have the right to know, especially if it involved me! You can’t just hide it from me!” Mark yelled, also becoming annoyed.

“No! I don’t have to tell you anything! You’re just gonna…” Jinyoung trailed off.

Mark leaned in, curious of what Jinyoung had stopped himself from saying. “I’m gonna what?” he asked.

Jinyoung looked away, hesitating before speaking. “You’re just gonna be upset. You don’t want to know…”

Mark furrowed his brows. “Of course I want to know.” He said.

Jinyoung shook his head. “No, you don’t, you really don’t…”

“Saying things like that makes me want to know even more!” Mark said.

“I’m not telling you! Just let me out!” Jinyoung said, trying to push Mark out of the way.

Mark stood his ground though, not moving from blocking the door. “Tell me! I can take it! I have the right to know! Stop lying to me Jinyoung!-”

“We kissed!” Jinyoung yelled, giving in to Mark's stubbornness.

Mark blinked. “... _what_?”

“We… we kissed…” Jinyoung said, his voice shaking as he looked away from the elder.

Mark furrowed his brows as he thought about it, “I told you to stop lying…”

“I’m not lying! We kissed, we really kissed, okay? You wanted to know, right? Well, that’s what happened.” Jinyoung said, his arms folded across his chest.

Mark scoffed. “I’m not stupid Jinyoung, we didn’t kiss. I would remember doing something like that.”

“Why? Because it’s gay? And you’re super against being gay, right?” Jinyoung said, his tone becoming angry.

“That’s not… that doesn’t have anything to do with this. I just know that I wouldn’t kiss you.” Mark stated.

“We kissed! You told me to tell you what happened, well we really kissed!” Jinyoung said, his eyes searching Mark's as if he’d suddenly remember.

The strange thing was though, Mark imagined that in the shower earlier. He thought about it again, and the scene replayed in his head. Jinyoung's face moved closer to his own, Jinyoung whispered something against his lips, then he pressed his lips against Mark's. But… that didn’t happen…. right? That was just Mark's imagination playing tricks on him. Jinyoung was just being difficult and he was messing with Mark, that’s what was going on here.

“If you don’t want to tell me what really happened, then fine, I’ll drop it.” Mark said, becoming pissed off with all the games and lies.

Jinyoung suddenly clutched Mark's arm. “I’m telling you, we kissed! Look me in the eye, you know when I’m lying!”

Mark looked into Jinyoung's eyes, desperately searching for the signs he usually sees when Jinyoung tells a lie. Yet, there were none. All he saw were the pure dark pools staring back at him, honest and truthful. And even though that should have made Mark feel better, it actually terrified him.

“No…” Mark whispered.

Jinyoung's eyes were watery as they welled up with his tears, but they never fell down his cheeks as he retold the events of the night before. “You asked me if I had… been with a guy before…”

Mark stared at Jinyoung trying hard to find any signs at all of him lying, and he started to panic when he couldn’t.

“...and I told you that I had… just once…” Jinyoung continued.

The memories started flooding back to Mark's brain, and he shook his head as he started to remember. “No…”

“...and then, you asked all these questions about kissing a guy, you know, how it feels and stuff… and sex with a guy…” Jinyoung said.

Mark felt as if he was starting to suffocate, that the air in the room became too heavy and thick. He remembered, but he didn’t want to remember. What Jinyoung was saying never happened. Mark would never ask those things.

“S-Stop…” Mark mumbled.

“...and then I asked you if you were… curious.” Jinyoung told him, taking a few steps forward.

Mark started breathing hard, and as the memories kept coming back, he felt even worse. He backed against the door as Jinyoung stepped closer. He needed air, this was too much. Jinyoung was lying, he had to be. “Stop Jinyoung, stop, it didn’t happen…” Mark said.

“And I told you that you could always try it…” Jinyoung continued, taking a few more steps until they were almost chest to chest. “And… you didn’t fight me off when I… got closer…”

Mark shook his head. “No! Stop! Stop lying!”

“I think I was driven by the alcohol, but I just wanted to kiss you so bad… and I know I shouldn’t have pushed myself on to you like that but… you seemed so into it…” Jinyoung put his hands on Mark's shoulders, slowly running them up to his neck.

“Stop! Stop talking! It didn’t happen!” Mark yelled, his heart beating out of his chest as Jinyoung leaned in, his hands clutching onto the younger’s shirt.

“... and then I leaned in and whispered ‘just trust me’... like this...” Jinyoung whispered against Mark's lips before his lips fully met Mark's.

Mark felt as if he couldn’t breathe as Jinyoung's lips pressed against his own. Warmth spread through his body as Jinyoung's chest touched his. Shivers ran through him as Jinyoung's lips glided over his so lightly, almost feathery.

Mark was scared. He was scared at how soft Jinyoung's lips were, how warm Jinyoung's body felt pressed against his, how addictive this feeling was, and how good kissing him felt. How good kissing a _man_ felt. It was all so scary, so different from what Mark had thought his whole life about kissing a man. If felt way too good. _Too, too_ good.

Mark felt the grip on his neck tighten and another hand slide down his back to his waist, and it felt so good to be held and touched like this by Jinyoung. Yet, it was wrong. It was so wrong. Mark wasn’t gay. Mark didn’t like guys. Mark didn’t like Jinyoung like that. But then, why did this feel so good? It shouldn’t, it shouldn’t feel good at all.

Mark quickly pushed Jinyoung off of him, touching his fingers to his lips as he glared at the younger. “I… I don’t like guys…” he mumbled.

“Mark…” Jinyoung said, trying to reach out and touch his arm.

Mark pushed his hand away. “No! I’m not gay! I'm not like you! Why would you do that?  It’s.. it’s wrong…”

The tears that were in Jinyoung eyes started to become heavier. “Mark, no… you kissed me back… I won't ever forget that you actually kissed me back. It wasn't one sided, you… you touched me and kissed me and I was surprised that you actually returned the feelings…” he said shakily.

“Stop it! Stop filling my head with lies! I don’t remember that! I don't remember _ever_ doing that!” Mark yelled.

“It happened! I’m serious a Mark! I ran out of the living room after kissing you, saying it was a mistake, but I wanted you to remember it! That why I asked you all those questions this morning… I wanted you to remember…” Jinyoung said, a tear finally rolling down his cheek.

“I don’t care! Whatever the hell you _think_ happened, you can believe in! I would _never_ do that! Especially not with you!” Mark turned and unlocked the door, quickly opening it and running out.

“Mark please!” Jinyoung yelled after him, more tears rolling down his face as he ran out after him.

“Stop! Leave me alone! I’m not like you, okay? Just stop! You were right, I didn't want to know what happened... you shouldn't have told me...” Mark said, before running out the front door.

Mark slammed the door behind him as he ran. He heard Jinyoung call after him, but he ignored the calls from the person who lied to him. He had to have lied, right? But why did it feel so real? Why did the memories he had match up with what Jinyoung said happened? And why did Jinyoung kiss him just a few minutes ago? And why didn't he push Jinyoung away? Why didn't he fight Jinyoung off?

Mark wasn't like Jinyoung. He knows he's not. He didn't like guys like that. That wasn't who Mark was.Yet he was still so confused and scared and he just had to get away from all of it. So he ran. And he kept running, he didn’t know where exactly he was going, but he had to get out of there. So he just ran. In the middle in the cold winter night, Mark continued running until he couldn’t run anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang why do I make everyone run away from their problems in my stories??? Lol, I guess that means I lowkey run from my own problems oopppps.
> 
> Well if I go fast enough they're not gonna catch me bahahaha
> 
> ~zoom zoom~


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaahaha you guys are gonna hate me for making Mark so dumb ahahaahahaa.

Mark was cold. Freezing cold. Hed left without a phone, without a jacket, in some shorts and t-shirt with some slippers on. He didn't think about any of that stuff while he was escaping the lies his “ _ friend _ ” told him. Could he even call Jinyoung a friend anymore? Friends wouldn't lie to friends. Friends wouldn't hide things from friends. And friends definitely wouldn't kiss friends like that… definitely not like that.

Mark felt disgusted yet fluttery. Angry yet nervous. Betrayed yet… curious? Why was he curious? He shouldn't want to know what would've happened if he stayed there in that bathroom and let Jinyoung kiss him. He shouldn't be thinking about pulling the younger man closer to him and pressing back against his lips. He shouldn't be thinking about how fast Jinyoung makes his heartbeat. His body shouldn't be reacting to these things the way it was. It wasn't right… was it?

Mark didn't know. He thought he knew, but the more he interacted with Jinyoung the less he knew, and the more he got confused. All he could think about was that kiss. His heart was beating nearly out of his chest as Jinyoung's soft lips touched his own. He didn't want to push him away, but he felt so bad for liking it. He shouldn't like it, right? That's not what Mark likes…

He was afraid to return home, it was late and the others probably heard them fighting, so everyone is probably looking for Mark right about now. Mark also wasn't dressed at all for the freezing cold temperatures, so if he wanted to actually survive that night, he needed to head back. He didn't really know where he was, he was just terribly cold and tried his best to head back in the direction he ran from. It shouldn't be hard, as he just ran straight, but he ran pretty far, so it would take a little bit to get back home. As he was walking, an old lady was heading the opposite direction as him, and she saw the freezing boy.

“Oh my goodness! Where are you headed to dressed like that? It's too cold!” she said.

Mark tried to tell her that he was fine and keep going, but the lady clutched his arm, preventing him from going.

“Is you're home nearby? Do you need a place to stay?” she asked.

“Oh no ma'am, I'm not homeless, I was just heading back from the uh… store.” Mark lied.

“No, I can tell you were running from something, child. You have no bags with you from the store, and you wouldn't be dressed like that if you planned to go out in this weather.” the lady said before taking off her large woven scarf. “Here, take my scarf and hurry home, boy. Your face is too young and pretty to be wasted out here.”

“No ma'am, please, I don't want to take your scarf…” Mark said, trying to give it back to her, but instead she took it and wrapped it around him and then grabbed his hands.

“Whatever your running from, face it like a real man would, dont run and hide or else it will follow you for as long as you keep running.” she said, then patting his hand and quickly walking off.

Mark watched her walk off for a minute before feeling another freezing cold gust of wind, pushing him to go home as quickly as possible. He wrapped the scarf tightly over his head and around his shoulders as he walked back home, thanking the lady in his head for the extra warmth.

It did take him a while to get back, but he finally arrived at the dorm, knocking quickly at the door. The door swung open only moments after Mark knocked, Jinyoung grabbing Mark's arm and pulling him inside. 

Mark stumbled after the younger who tugged him into the living room where Mark saw everyone else was gathered.

“The fucking idiot came back.” Jinyoung stated, pushing Mark to sit down on the couch.

“Oh my God he's freezing!” Jackson said.

“Someone get him a blanket.” Jaebum commanded, Youngjae hopping up to go get one.

“I'll make him some tea.” Yugyeom said, heading to the kitchen.

“Mark, where did you go?” BamBam asked the shivering elder.

Mark barely could talk as he was shivering badly and his clothes were slightly wet, clinging to him. Jinyoung came and sat next to him on the couch, suddenly slapping him on the head.

“Ow! T-The f-fuck?” Mark said, looking over at him. 

“Why the hell would you do that?! Are you that fucking dumb!? Seriously, you didn't think twice about just running out of the damn building?” Jinyoung asked.

“Hey, calm down! Jinyoung, back off, let him at least warm up before attacking him.” Jaebum said.

Jinyoung glared at Mark before rolling his eyes and walking off, but not going too far so he could still keep an eye on him. Mark looked at his knees, not wanting to talk to anyone. Youngjae had brought him a large blanket and Jackson went and brought him a heat pack. He knows the others are holding off on interrogating him until he's warmed up, so he tried to take the time to prepare for it. Once Yugyeom came back with the tea, Mark took a sip and heard Jaebum start talking.

“Okay Mark. What exactly happened?” he asked.

Mark shook his head, still shivering a little. “A-Ask Jinyoung…” he responded, not wanting to go through that whole situation again.

“I did, Jinyoung came to me first when you ran out. I didn't believe that you just left without a phone or even a jacket, but he was literally bawling his eyes out to me about it. So now I want to hear your side.” Jaebum said as calmly as possible, even though Mark could tell he wasn't too happy with him.

Mark glanced at Jinyoung who still had a tear rolling down his face, but he looked more angry instead of sad. Mark looked away, sighing before speaking. “We… were talking at first… and then it turned into a fight. I got really upset and I just… left. Okay? I'm an adult, I can do that if I want.” Mark explained, not getting too into details.

Jaebum nodded his head, looking at the ceiling as he thought. “Okay, that's almost exactly what Jinyoung said happened. Does anyone want to explain what exactly you two were fighting about?”

Both were silent, neither wanting to explain their situation, most likely from embarrassment.

Jaebum sighed at the silence. “Um, okay, well you don't have to tell us I guess…”

“I heard them in the bathroom, Mark just kept calling Jinyoung a liar, but I really couldn't hear what they were saying too clearly. The only word I could really make out was ‘lying’.” Youngjae said, making both Mark and Jinyoung look at him.

“... Well, that doesn't tell us much, but I think if they want to keep it between them, then they can. Just, let's calm down before things get too out of hand and we end up doing stupid things.” Jaebum said.

“Well, at least you took a scarf…” Jackson said, pulling at the scarf around his neck.

“Oh, t-this isn't m-mine. S-Some lady t-thought that I was homeless or something, s-so she gave it to me.” Mark explained.

“Well why did you take it? You should've given it back.” BamBam said.

“I t-tried! But she insisted on g-giving it to me, and s-she told me to go h-home.” Mark said, clutching onto the fabric.

“Come on, let's get you a warm bath, I can't stand you shivering like that.” Jackson said, helping Mark get up and bringing him to the bathroom.

Mark sat on the toilet balled up in his blanket as Jackson sat on the side of the tub and ran a warm bath for him. He was tired, and it was late in the night, and all he wanted to do was get warm and go to sleep.

“You okay?” Jackson asked him, resting a hand on his leg.

Mark nodded, not answering verbally. Jackson was used to this though, and even though he hated it, he knew that that was how Mark communicated when he was shook up over something.

“You were out for a long time… we got really worried.” Jackson said, looking back at the water.

Mark looked down at the floor, starting to feel bad for worrying everyone like that. He didn't mean to, he just couldn't handle his situation with Jinyoung at the time. He needed air. Like when he was in the studio and he had to leave to regain himself.

“I know you're mad at him right now… for whatever reason… but Jinyoung was honestly the most upset about it…” Jackson said.

Mark turned to look at Jackson, his eyes slightly widened. He knew he left Jinyoung upset, but he didnt think that Jinyoung would still be even after he left. He felt really bad now, but he was still angry about the whole situation in the first place.

“I think he felt bad… about making you so upset with him. He kept saying it was his fault… he wouldnt explain exactly what was his fault though.” Jackson explained, turning off the water when it got to an acceptable height.

Mark agreed with that statement. It was all Jinyoung's fault. It was his fault that he had Mark so confused. His fault that Mark can’t stop thinking about him. His fault that Mark suddenly had all these wrong thoughts of touching him and holding him. All of it was his fault.

“Okay, you can get in. Do you want me to check on you later?” Jackson asked.

Mark is usually the type to not enjoy others taking care of him. He liked taking care of other people, but he didn't like feeling as if he was burdening someone else to help him out. In this situation though, Mark nodded his head, wanting Jackson to be there for him as he seemed to have lost the only other person he leaned on.

Jackson nodded, patting Mark on the shoulder before leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Mark removed his clothes and stepped into the warm bath, relishing in the heat as he sat down. He laid back, his head resting against the wall as he closed his eyes and tried to relax. He's had a pretty rough night so far, so he feels that maybe he should just take a break from it all.

He stared at the ceiling as his mind constantly drifted back to Jinyoung crying and looking so upset and worried. It sort of reminded him of his own mother, when Mark would be out too late doing stupid things with his friends and she would be upset with him, but she'd have a look of relief when he'd finally come home. Jinyoung reminded him exactly of that, and Mark didn't know if he should feel good or bad about it. He didn't like making the others worry, but it felt nice to be cared about.

Mark figured it was just the loneliness of winter again, where all the couples get together and cuddle up while Mark is still alone. Maybe that's why he kept thinking of Jinyoung so much, he just wanted someone to be with, and since Jinyoung showed him bit of attention, he craved more. That had to be it. He just wanted attention, and Jinyoung probably wanted some too, since he was single as well. They were both just lonely and in need of some attention, Mark concluded.

He figured that was a good enough of an explanation to accept, so he tried to take his mind off of it for the time being. He got out of the tub, finally being warmed up, and wrapped a towel around his waist before draining the tub and leaving the bathroom. He threw his clothes in a basket to get washed beside the old woman's scarf, which for some reason he wanted to keep nearby him.

He laid down in his bed and moments after he heard a knock and the door open. He looked over and saw Jackson coming in, checking up on Mark like he promised he would.

“I heard you leave the bathroom, are you okay?" Jackson asked, walking in and closing the door behind him before sitting on the bed.

“Yeah… I'm fine…” Mark responded.

Jackson nodded and patted Mark's leg. “I know you don't want a lecture, so I'm gonna keep this short... “ Jackson started, Mark listening to what he was going to say. “Don't ever do stupid shit like that again, understand?”

Mark was a bit thrown off by Jackson's sudden serious tone, but he did understand that he made the others worry about him, so he nodded his head in response.

Jackson smiled warmly at him again before getting up and heading to the door. As he opened it, he looked back at the elder. “Oh, and if you ever wanna talk, come find me.” he said, smiling as he closed the door.

Mark was really grateful to people like Jackson. He was close to Mark as well, and when it wasn't Jinyoung clinging to him, it was Jackson. Jackson would always be there for all of the members, and he has the gift to make everyone laugh, no matter what mood they were in. Hopefully Jackson could help Mark get through these confusing times with Jinyoung.

Mark was tired and he almost immediately slept, waking up really late the next day. None of the others had woken him up, probably letting him sleep until he woke up himself. It was past the time he usually has breakfast when he finally wakes, so he decided to settle for some lunch.

He got up yawning, his muscles hurting from running the night before. He was glad Jackson had ran him that bath though, or else the pain from it would've been worse. He walked into the kitchen with no one to be found, and he just assumed that everyone was in their room occupying themselves with something. He made himself some quick ramen and sat down to eat, checking his social media as he did so.

He scrolled through a bunch of pictures on Instagram, liking random ones until he came across one in particular that caught his eye. It was an image a fan took of him and Jinyoung during their world tour, the two captured arm in arm in the middle of jumping and screaming some lyrics of whatever song they were singing. Seeing the picture made him smile, as he remembered back to that time, and remembered how much fun Jinyoung was on stage. The caption read ‘Markjin!!! <33’, which made Mark smile even more. He didn't know why, but he felt the combination of their names was cute.

He then sighed, wishing that right now could be as easy as times were then. No one was confused, no one felt lonely, and at the time, no one was in a relationship. They were all just a group of free single guys that loved performing for their fans. Not that they personally have changed. But their relationships with each other had changed. It was all so weird and mind boggling, Mark didn't think he'd be going through all of this with Jinyoung.

He noticed that again Jinyoung had wandered into his mind, and he couldn't get him out. He wished it was so much easier to just not think about someone than it actually was. He needed to get it all out. He remembered that Jackson has told him to come find him if he wanted to talk, and Marl figured that maybe just telling Jackson everything would help. So, he cleaned up his ramen and headed back to Jackson's room.

He knocked gently on the door, hoping he wasn't disturbing the other. He could hear faint music coming from the other side and he heard it turn off as he knocked again. The door opened a minute or so after, Jackson looking surprised to see Mark.

“Mark! How are you?” Jackson asked, grabbing Mark's arm and leading him inside.

“I'm okay, I just ate something.” he responded.

“Oh good. We decided to let you rest after the night you had.” Jackson said, sitting on his bed and patting the space next to him.

Mark sat down, looking around the room as he wondered how to start the conversation he wanted to have.

“What's up?” Jackson asked, seeing the concentrated expression on Mark's face.

“I'm just… really confused…” Mark said honestly.

Jackson frowned. “About what?”

Mark shook his head, not sure if he wanted to let everything out.

“You want to talk about it? I can help, maybe…” Jackson said.

Mark thought that any help he could get was what he needed, even though he doesn't usually consult others with his problems. He decided that he couldn't hold this in, and confiding in Jackson may clear things up a bit.

“It's just… Jinyoung…” Mark said trailing off as he said his name.

Jackson nodded. “I figured… what's been going on between you two, if you don't mind me asking?”

Mark shook his head, wanting to tell Jackson what he's so baffled about. “Just… remember I mentioned he's been strange lately?”

Jackson nodded, waiting for Mark to continue.

“I… still don't know exactly why but… but he's been really like, clingy to me and touchy.” Mark said, looking at Jackson for his reaction.

“Okay … but that sounds normal. Especially for you two.” Jackson said.

Mark nodded. “I mean, it is… sorta. But… he's been like,  _ a lot _ more touchy recently… like on my body and stuff. And he… often stands a bit too close. Or he wants to cuddle me when we sleep together. I know this sounds like normal things friends do but… it's not like Jinyoung to be so… all over me like that.” he explained.

Jackson looked away, thinking for a minute. He bit his lip as he got lost in thought. He then turned back to Mark. “Has he like, said anything weird as well? Or reacted weirdly to something you did or said?”

Mark nodded, recalling everything that has been happening. “We were watching a drama together, and I had said something about a gay character. It wasn't mean, but I just thought that being gay was… I don't know, weird I guess. And he got so offended, when just seconds before that he was laying on my shoulder giggling with me…”

Jackson nodded, seeming to have a verdict. “Well, that's it right there.”

Mark looked over at Jackson. “What?”

“Mark, you can't be  _ that _ blind, can you?” Jackson asked.

Mark shook his head, frowning. “What? What is it?”

Jackson sighed, dropping his head and shaking it. “Oh boy, you're more oblivious than the two love birds in the other room…” Jackson commented before looking back at Mark. “He likes you, Mark.”

Mark was confused. “Huh?”

Jackson facepalmed himself. “Oh my God, Mark, he likes you! Those are all signs of someone who really likes you! Jeez, how did you even get a girlfriend in the past if you can't even tell when someone obviously likes you?”

Mark shook his head, still confused. “I mean, I like him too, but- “

Jackson suddenly grabbed Mark's shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes. “Mark, listen to me. Jinyoung likes you  _ romantically _ . This isn't some bromance stuff, this is someone's  _ real _ feelings for you.” he explained.

Mark tried to connect the dots, but he really couldn't figure it out. “B-But how? How do you know?”

Jackson sighed exasperatedly. “ _ Think _ about it, why else would he be so upset by you telling him you thought being gay was weird? Sure, he could just be offended by your closed minded attitude, but it hurts a lot more when the person you like tells you straight out that they're never going to return the feelings because of your  _ gender _ .”

Mark thought about it a bit more, the explanation Jackson gave him actually making some sense. Maybe Jinyoung did in fact like him as more than just a friend. Maybe that's what Jinyoung was trying to get at this whole time.

“And if he likes you, that would explain the sudden clinginess. He wants you, Mark. He's probably been trying to subtly tell you that, or maybe he just isn't good at sharing his feelings straightforwardly.” Jackson said.

Mark was a bit shocked by the news. He didn't think that Jinyoung of all people liked him as more than just a friend. That's what Mark had thought of Jinyoung as….just a friend. A friend he enjoyed spending time with and liked staring at, but still just a friend. As Jackson explained it to him though, it started to make more sense.

“When did this start?” Jackson asked.

“Um, not long after Jaebum and Youngjae got together.” Mark replied.

“I knew it.” Jackson said while smiling. “He's liked you for a long time. And seeing how Youngjae and Jaebum's relationship has been working out successfully so far, I think he got a bit more confident in pursuing you.”

“S-So he… likes me? Like, for real?” Mark asked, just to make sure.

“Yes! That's what I've been explaining to you, he totally likes you! It's so obvious, what did you think was going on?” Jackson asked.

Mark shrugged. “At first I thought he just easily got cold, so I let him sleep with me to stay warm. Then I thought that he was jealous of Jaebum and Youngjae, so he was using me as an excuse to cuddle up with someone. Then I thought he was really lonely, and he just wanted some attention.”

“Oh my go- you are really slow Mark. If he's doing all of these things  _ specifically _ with you, then it's  _ you _ that he wants to be with. It's  _ you _ he wants attention from. It's  _ you _ he likes  _ a lot _ .” Jackson said.

Mark sat there silently, again thinking it all over as he tried to digest the information. That was believable, he thought. Jinyoung likes him… Jinyoung actually likes him, like, romantically. It was weird knowing that someone so close to you wants you as more than just what you and them had. Yet, Mark's heart skipped a beat at the thought. He put his hand to his chest as he felt a weird sensation there. Good, but weird.

“What's wrong?” Jackson asked, noticing the motion. 

“Ah, N-Nothing… just… my chest feels weird.” Mark said.

Jackson stared at him for a minute before slowly grinning at him, and Mark was confused as to why. Jackson just looked at him with a wide grin as Mark sat there with his hand on his chest.

“Mark…” Jackson started, his tone worrying Mark a bit about what he was going to say. “...do you… like Jinyoung too?”

Mark quickly looked at Jackson wide eyed. “No! Why would you ask me that?”

Jackson furrowed his brows. “You just said you suddenly felt weird in your chest? Is it like, a painful, you should probably go to the doctor weird? Or a tingly, warm, rainbows and sunshine weird?”

Mark thought about it for a second. “Um, I think the second one?” 

Jackson smiled. “Aw my Markipooh is in love!” 

“What? No, I'm not! I told you I don't like him!” Mark said, feeling his face heating up.

“You're blushing…” Jackson pointed out, making Mark immediately feel his face.

“N-No! That's just because… you surprised me... I didn't expect you to ask me that! I'm telling you, I don't like him.” Mark said firmly.

“Have you been thinking about him a lot?” asked Jackson.

“Well… kinda sorta, yeah…” Mark responded.

“Like his body features and facial features? Have you caught yourself staring at him a lot?” he asked.

Mark furrowed his brows as he thought. “Um, yeah… I mean, he's handsome, I think. But that's just normal things you think about your friends…”

“And do you think about doing things with him? It doesn't have to necessarily be physical, but do you just think about it?” Jackson asked.

“Yeah… well, just a bit. You know, just to wonder about it…” Mark confessed.

“Then dude, you're totally into him.” Jackson said laughing.

“Jackson, I'm telling you I'm not! Stop, it's not funny!” Mark yelled.

Jackson hummed. “Fine. Let's see then. Has anything else happened between you two?”

Mark thought about it, not sure if he should mention what made them fight the last time. He figured he had told Jackson this much though, so telling him anymore wouldn't hurt.

“We… um… the night we were all drunk…” Mark trailed off, hesitating.

“What? Finish what you were saying!” Jackson urged.

“...well, Jinyoung said that we… we.... kissed…” Mark mumbled.

Jackson's eyes widened at the revelation, his jaw almost dropping to the floor. “Well then if you freaking kissed already, why are you still confused!?”

“Because I know I wouldn't kiss a  _ guy _ ! Jackson, I'm  _ straight _ , I know I am!” Mark said, staring at Jackson who just gave him a doubtful look.

“Mark, are you really? Do you know for sure?” Jackson asked.

Mark frowned. “Are you… are you doubting me?” he asked.

Jackson shook his head. “I just want you to be truthful to yourself. How about this, did you kiss Jinyoung back?”

Mark sighed, not really sure how to answer. “I… I don't really remember…” he said.

Jackson frowned. “Well that's not good. You don't remember at all?”

Mark shook his head. “Well, actually, I didn't remember before. But, yesterday morning Jinyoung wanted me to remember it, and I just couldn't, so I basically begged him to tell me what happened, and when he told me, all the memories came back…”

Jackson looked up at him. “So then… you do remember?”

Mark blinked a few times. “I… I don't know. I mean, what I ‘remember’ matches up with what Jinyoung says happened, but… that had to be just my imagination playing tricks on me, right?” he looked to Jackson who shook his head.

“It sounds like it happened. I mean, if you remember it, and he remembers it, then it happened.” Jackson stated.

“B-But… no, no it couldn't have…” Mark said. “I wouldn't have done that…”

“Done what?” Jackson asked, leaning in. “Mark… did you kiss him back?” Jackson repeated.

Mark hesitated before answering. “... I mean… I-I… I didn't… I mean… yes… yes, I did. I kissed him back. I pinned him to the couch and kissed him back because his mouth was so soft and warm but… that wasn't… I didn't … no, that was just in my head, right? I didn't  _ actually _ do it, did I?” he asked, looking at Jackson as if he had all the answers.

Instead, Jackson shook his head and shrugged. “I don't know, Mark. I can't tell you what happened, I wasn't there. I can only tell you what I think this sounds like…” he said.

“What does it sound like?” Mark asked.

Jackson sighed. “I'm not sure if you want to hear this, but I'm being truthful with you. I think this sounds like you have a crush on Jinyoung, but you're too in denial to admit it. Even if you were just imagining doing things with Jinyoung in your head, it doesn't mean you don't like him. You just don't want to admit that you actually have feelings for a guy…”

Mark frowned. “There is nothing to admit, I don't like guys, and I don't like Jinyoung!” 

“And you know what  _ that _ sounds like to me, Mark?” Jackson asked.

Mark looked over at him, staring at Jackson as he spoke.

“A load of bullshit.” he said.

Mark shook his head, standing up as he started to get more upset. “No… no it's not  _ bullshit _ , okay? I'm telling you I don't like him, I can't like a  _ man _ . I'm  _ straight _ okay? I have no problems with gay people at all, I think Youngjae and Jaebum are a great couple, but I would  _ never ever _ like a man. That's not right… not for me at least.”

Jackson stood too, hoping to calm Mark down. “Mark, you're in denial. I know what you think is right and wrong, but I'm telling you, stop denying your feelings. There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking guys. You're confused because you're not being truthful to yourself.”

“I have no feelings! There is nothing, okay? I didn't kiss Jinyoung, I don't like Jinyoung,and I'm not in denial, so stop telling me that stuff!” Mark yelled.

“Mark, you just don't want to hear the truth! That's where the problem is, your heart and body are telling you what they want, but you don't believe in it! Listen to what's in here!” Jackson said, pointing to Mark's chest.

Mark headed to the door as he yelled. “Fuck my heart, fuck my body, I know what I want, and it's definitely not some guy who I used to consider one of my closest friends!”

“Mark don’t say that, you're still close friends. We're all close friends.” Jackson said, trying to slowly calm Mark down.

“No, we’re not. Not after everything that's happened.” Mark said, his hand now resting on the doorknob.

“Stop being dramatic, Mark come on, come sit down and relax- “

“No! I thought talking to you would make sense, but you're just spewing the same nonsense Jinyoung was.” Mark said as he opened the door and left.

“Mark, you're in denial!” Jackson yelled out before Mark slammed the door behind him.

He huffed back to his room, not satisfied with the conversation he had with Jackson at all. He thought it would clear everything up, but it just made more of a mess. He thought about what Jackson had said, that he was in denial, but Mark knew he wasn't…  _ right _ ?

Even though everything Jackson had said about him was true, Mark still couldn't believe it. He didn't  _ want _ to believe it. So what if he was in denial anyway? It's better than knowing you have a crush on another guy. It's way better than that… right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm. So. Sorry. I. Really. Like. Making. You. Guys. Angry. And. Hate. Mark. Ahahaahahahahahahahaaahaha. I'm a psychopath.
> 
> (It'll get better dont worry, Mark is an idiot but just for now lol)
> 
> Oh btw, I feel like you guys are in all different time zones and I post when you're all asleep lol. I wanna try posting when you guys are awake, so like, what time zone are yall in?? Or what time should I post? I mean, does it even bother you? Should I just leave it as it is and post whenever?
> 
> EDIT: Sorry I just had to say Jackson is 100% bae material in this story like, he is actually is the only person that makes sense hahaaha (and he lowkey represents you guys yelling at Mark in the comments lmao)


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, idk if yall wanna have tissues nearby because there are actual teARs in this chapter...

Mark laid in his room, just staring at the ceiling. He wondered if something was wrong with him. He wondered why everyone kept saying the same things. He was just so confused with himself and his emotions, it was becoming annoying.

Everyone kept telling him the same things, even when he googled his feelings it told him that he had a crush on Jinyoung. But it didn't make sense to him. How could he like someone that he's only been friends with for so many years? And a guy on top of that? There's just no way.

What Jackson said about his heart and body telling him what he wanted did replay in Mark's head though. His heart did occasionally skip a best when Jinyoung was near, and he does feel himself blush when Jinyoung steps a bit too close or complements him. That doesn't mean he necessarily  _ likes _ Jinyoung, right?

There was no way he was wrong about it, he knows himself better than anyone else does, and if he doesn't like Jinyoung, then he just doesn't. He was surprised though when he found out that Jinyoung liked him.

He could barely believe that either, but as Jackson explained it more to him, he could see it. But why? Why does Jinyoung like him? What specifically did he find intriguing about Mark? Mark wanted to know how he turned into his friend's crush, but he couldn't just ask Jinyoung. He still wasn't completely sure if Jinyoung even liked him. Jackson had no basis on what he said besides what Mark told him, so it was a possibility that he could be wrong. Then again, someone who's just your friend wouldn't tell you that they kissed you, and then kiss you again. 

Mark touched his lips, remembering the kiss in the bathroom. Even though the ‘kiss’ that Jinyoung allegedly said happened was blurry in Mark's mind, Mark remembers the one in the bathroom clearly. Jinyoung pushing him against the door as he almost desperately pressed their lips together sent chills through Mark. He should've pushed him away. He shouldn't have let him do that. Kissing Jinyoung just made Mark's heart beat faster, but it shouldn't have. That's why Mark ran. He was feeling things that he shouldn't have been feeling at the time. It was all too overwhelming for him.

He felt his heart beating now, thinking about all of it. He didn't want to be thinking about it, and he shouldn't be. But he couldn't help it. Everytime he tried to take his mind off of this situation, it just came right back even stronger than before. Jackson wasn't much help either. So now, it’s just back to square one. He tried to think of something that always makes him feel better. That never lies to him or betrays him. Food.

Mark was suddenly very hungry, and decided to go eat dinner. He didn't wait for the others to order something in or cook, he just got up and made himself some ramen. He realized though, that he hadn’t seen any of the members other than Jackson all day, and he wondered if they were even home.

Mark sat at the table and ate his feelings, trying to drown out everything in the generic taste of ramen. His head hurt a bit from thinking about the whole situation, he was just tired of it all. As he ate though, he heard a door from down the hallway open, and footsteps approached the kitchen.

As Jackson walked in, Mark looked at him before turning away, quietly continuing to eat. Jackson sat down across from Mark, and Mark knew that Jackson was there to try and talk about what happened. Jackson is the type of person to not let something go until he’s dissolved the issue, where Mark on the other hand, would just rather avoid talking altogether. He acted as if Jackson wasn’t there, stuffing more ramen into his mouth.

Jackson signed before speaking. “Look, I know you're mad at me but…” Jackson started. “... I really think your denial is a problem…”

Mark sighed, dropping his chopsticks in his bowl. “Don’t talk to me about that ‘ _ denial _ ’ shit, I’m done dealing with it.”

“Mark, it isn’t like you to be so dramatic…” Jackson said, a worried look on his face as he stared at Mark.

“ _ Dramatic _ ? I’m not being dramatic, I’m really pissed off, but no one seems to fucking care.” Mark suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore, pushing his bowl away from him.

“You’re pissed off because you can’t accept the fact that you like Jinyoung? Seriously Mark, how insecure are you that you have to ignore something so obvious? Are you afraid of losing your manliness or something?” Jackson asked.

Mark groaned. “You’re not gonna leave me alone about this, are you? I shouldn’t have even told you…”

Jackson tapped his fingers on the table, visibly getting more annoyed with Mark. “Hey, remember how moody and annoying Youngjae got when he was dealing with his feelings for Jaebum? Yeah, that’s how you’re acting right now, and it’s getting old. I’m trying to open your eyes here, Mark. You just don’t want to listen.” Jackson doesn’t usually take a serious tone, but his voice was dangerously strict and Mark knew he meant every single word he said, yet he couldn't care less.

“No, you’re right, I don’t want to listen. Not to you, not to Jinyoung, not to anyone. I dont care what you guys tell me anymore, I know myself best and you guys can’t tell me otherwise.” Mark said.

“If you know yourself so fucking well, then you’d realize your own feelings for someone, but it seems like you’re oblivious to that too.” Jackson retorted.

Mark wanted to argue, but he didn’t have a comeback to that. Instead he just got up from the table and left, knowing that Jackson would probably still try to talk to him again later. He didn’t want to hear what they had to say though, none of it made sense to him.

He felt like he’s lost everyone who did actually make sense to him. He had no one that he trusted as much as Jackson and Jinyoung to turn to, and now they’re both against him. He felt alone and out of touch with everyone, and all he could really do that didn't stress him out was sit in his room for hours and not come out.

Jackson did eventually try to comeback and talk to him, but Mark had locked his door and ignored the knocks he heard from the other side. He eventually had to go out to shower, but he did it quietly and quickly, so no one would be able to interrupt him. He heard the members comeback later, realizing that they were out, which is why it was so quiet and explains why he hadn’t seen them all day. He didn’t bother to go out to greet them though, knowing that Jinyoung was probably amongst them as well, and he didn’t want to run into another conflict.

Mark just laid on his bed and scrolled through various social media accounts before eventually drifting off to sleep. He didn’t sleep for long though, as he randomly woke up in the middle of the night, his throat dry and parched. He stood from his bed and headed to the door, quietly walking down the hall towards the kitchen to find something to drink. He was surprised though, when he saw the kitchen light on, meaning that someone else was up at this ungodly hour of the night.

Mark froze in his steps when he heard the familiar deep tone of Jinyoung down the hall, and he realized he was talking to someone. Mark was about to turn back, forgetting about getting a drink from the kitchen and just going to get some water from the bathroom, until he heard another voice say his name. At that point, his curiosity was piqued, and he tiptoed a bit closer to the kitchen entrance, standing just to the side so that he wasn’t visible.

“... don’t know…” Mark heard Jinyoung say, not able to catch the beginning of that sentence.

“He’s in denial, Jinyoung…” he heard the voice that he now recognized as Jackson’s say.

“Is he really though? He just might not like me like I like him…” Jinyoung said, his voice low and sad sounding.

“I mean it, he told me. Well, he didn’t say it straight out, but he said he thinks about you, and he stares at you all the time, and he even admitted that he kissed you back, but he just doesn’t want to believe that it actually happened.” Jackson replied.

“He was just like me… well, I think this situation might be a bit different, but it’s pretty similar.” Mark heard a third voice, Youngjae, say.

“Honestly, it felt so much easier dealing with you and Jaebum…” Jinyoung confessed.

“That’s because you weren’t involved directly with me and Jaebum’s relationship. Now, you are directly involved with Mark, and it feels a lot worse when you’re the one actually dealing with it.” Youngjae replied, sounding oddly wise.

“I… I just don’t know what to do… at least you knew you liked Jaebum. Mark won’t even admit he likes guys in general…” Jinyoung mumbled.

_ ‘Because I don’t!’ _ Mark thought quietly as he continued to listen to the conversation.

“Mark is… just scared, I think. Maybe he was just taught that liking someone of the same gender is completely wrong and he’s afraid of the consequences…” Jackson suggested.

“I think he might just be scared of a relationship in general. Maybe he’s liked someone before who didn’t return his feelings because of his gender?” Youngjae said.

“I just don’t know! This is all so confusing, and even though I’m pissed off at him, I keep falling for him more and more…” Jinyoung said, his voice shaking.

Was he crying?

“We all care deeply for Mark, but Jinyoung, we also care deeply for you, and honestly I think you need to take care of yourself first instead of bending over backwards for him.” Jackson stated.

“But, he bends over backwards for me too. He’s so sweet and caring and he does things for me without me even having to ask him. His personality is just wonderful and I’m head over heels for a guy who doesn’t even look at me as more than just his weird gay friend!” Jinyoung said, Mark hearing his voice break into sobs.

Mark felt a sharp pain in his chest as he heard Jinyoung breakdown. Was it really that hard for Jinyoung? Mark didn’t mean to cause such a problem for him, and he definitely didn’t enjoy being the reason his friend was crying in the kitchen in the middle of the night. He definitely hated hearing Jinyoung cry.

“No, Jinyoung you’re more than just that, especially to him…” Youngjae said, Mark could hear the sound of them patting Jinyoung on the back, probably trying to calm him down.

“You’re like his freaking life line, without you, Mark wouldn’t be Mark. He cares about you a lot, I know he does…” Jackson said.

“Then why does he say those things to me? That he’ll never ‘be like me’ or he’d ‘never do things like that, especially with me’? It hurts a lot, and it confusing when he seems like he wants me, but then he rejects me… am I the one who's doing the wrong thing?” Jinyoung asked through sniffles.

Mark thought about the questions himself. He didn’t really know why he said things like that, or why he acted certain ways. He felt bad that Jinyoung was willing to blame it all on himself, but Mark didn’t really know exactly what the problem was.

“The only thing you did was try to show him your feelings. Sure, you might’ve went a bit overboard, and you tried to move things too quickly, but you’re dealing with your feeling just like he is right now, and both of you are doing irrational things.” Jackson explained, his voice soft and understanding.

“Yeah, I mean, Mark ran out of the damn building in the middle of a winter night in shorts and a t-shirt. He's just as affected by this as you are. The only thing is,  _ you’re _ the one that’s hurting, not him.  _ You’re _ the one that’s sitting here crying over it, not him.” Youngjae said, his words hitting Mark hard.

Even though Mark disagreed with a few things, what Youngjae had just said was true. Mark wasn’t the one broken from all of this. Jinyoung was. He wasn't crying about it, Jinyoung was. He felt bad, but wasn’t as upset as Jinyoung sounded, which suddenly made him feel worse. How could he call himself Jinyoung's friend and constantly hurt him like that? How could he be so unaware of Jinyoung's fragile feelings that he just crushed them so easily? He didn’t mean to be rude to him, or to offend him, or to hurt him so much, but he did. And it’s irreversible. 

Now, Mark felt absolutely terrible. He felt like utter garbage, and it just worsened with every sob that came from Jinyoung's mouth. He wanted to go in there and apologize, and he wanted to hug Jinyoung, and hold him, and just apologize over and over again. He didn’t mean to be such a jerk. He would never want to hurt someone so bad. Especially not Jinyoung, who still cares for Mark deeply, even after all that’s happened. Not Jinyoung, the guy who’s helped Mark learn Korean and helped him adjust to his new life over the years they’ve known each other. Not Jinyoung, the one person who always wants to put Mark before himself. Mark would never want to hurt him. Not like he just did.

“I still love him…” he heard Jinyoung say through his shaky voice. “I’ll never stop loving him. Even if he ends up hating me someday, even if he doesn’t want to be together, even if he’ll never return my feelings for him. I’ll always love him…”

Mark felt himself break, he couldn’t breath and he wanted to get out, to go and get some air, but that would result in him getting caught by the others. Instead, he just stood there and leaned against the wall, trying to regain himself. Jinyoung saying things like that made Mark feel awful. How could he be such a dick to someone who would still be there for him through thick and thin? Did he forget everything Jinyoung has done for him? No… Mark knew he would never forget it. He wouldn't forget any of it. And he wouldn't have rathered to have anyone else besides Jinyoung as the person who constantly stood by him.

“We all do. We all love him, and we all love you, which is why we’re trying to help you.” Youngjae said.

“Please stop crying Jinyoung…” Jackson pleaded.

_ ‘Don’t cry, Nyoungie… I hate when you cry...’ _ Mark thought as his hands came up to hold his chest that was in terrible pain. He really wished he had the confidence to go in there and console him.

“Hey, I'm gonna start crying if you don’t stop, then Youngjae’s gonna cry, and we’ll all just be a bunch of dorks sitting around the kitchen table crying at 2 AM.” Jackson said, making the other two chuckle just a little.

“I’m trying Jacks… I’m trying to be strong…” Jinyoung mumbled.

“Come here.” Mark heard Youngjae say, and he was startled by the sounds of chairs scraping the floor, but then he heard what sounded like them hugging, and Mark peaked in just a bit, seeing Youngjae and Jinyoung in a tight embrace as Jackson was just standing up to join them.

As Jackson was walking over to the other two, his eyes flashed up and locked with Mark’s, who suddenly pulled his head back. Did Jackson just see him? Mark didn’t want to stay to find out, so he quickly sneaked back to his room, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. He took a deep breath, glad that left when he did, because he wasn’t sure if he could handle anymore. Mark felt like he had a lot of thinking to do, and he should try and talk to Jinyoung at some point as well.

He climbed back into bed, at first leaving it for just something to drink, but coming back with a torn heart and an exhausted mind. He figured though, that he shouldn’t complain, since Jinyoung was suffering way worse than he was.

——————————————

Mark awoke later than usual, probably because he spent most of his night thinking about the conversation he overheard instead of sleeping. He rubbed his eyes and stared at the ceiling, the sudden feeling of hunger waking his brain and body up.

He sat up in his bed and checked the time, surprised at how late he slept. No one had come to wake him up though, and he suddenly remembered that some of them have schedules today. He sighed before finally getting out of bed and heading to the door, and as he opened it, he wondered who was still home. He didn’t remember if Jinyoung had a schedule, but he hoped that at some point in the day he’d have time to talk to him. Mark just needed the courage to do it first.

He headed to the kitchen, bracing himself for Jinyoung, but when he peeked into the room, the younger wasn’t there. No one was there. So he just continued on to get some breakfast, thinking about what he’d say to Jinyoung when he sees him. Should he apologize first? Should he take him somewhere private to talk? Will Jinyoung even want to talk to him? Mark felt like he may be thinking too hard about it, but he also felt like he wasn’t thinking hard enough. He didn’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing, which would hurt Jinyoung even more.

He finished eating and cleaned up his mess, heading back to the bathroom to take his usual quick shower. As he was heading down the hallway, he saw Jinyoung's door slightly open just a crack. Mark of course, being the nosy person he is, stopped in his tracks and looked through the crack, searching for Jinyoung. It didn’t take long to spot the lump he saw on the bed that was Jinyoung's body, that he hadn’t seen in almost a whole day and a half, curled up as he laid there reading a book.

Mark saw him wipe his eye, and he couldn’t tell, but Jinyoung might have been crying again. He suddenly felt compelled to go in there, but instead he continued on to the bathroom, not yet having gathered enough courage to confront the younger. Mark thought over and over again what he was going to say as he showered, still not quite finding the right words.

He came out of the shower and headed to his room, looking again in the crack of Jinyoung's door to make sure that he was still there. Mark briefly wondered if they were the only two home, but that made him even more nervous, so he tried not to think about it. He put on some clothes and wondered what time he should confront Jinyoung. Was doing it now too early? Should he wait until later? But if he does it later, he might forget what he wants to say, yet if he does it now, Jinyoung may still be upset and he might not have calmed down from their last altercation yet. Mark paced back and forth, worrying about every word he wanted to say and every move he made. 

He hesitated at his own door, wondering if he should just go for it. He still didn’t know what to say though. Should he just walk in? Should he say hi to Jinyoung first? Should he be casual, or serious? Mark hated being the one to start these sort of conversations because it was so mentally draining for him. He doesn’t usually start conversations, and he definitely doesn’t start conversations that could result in a conflict. His nerves were on edge as he decided to open the door and step into the hallway. 

He walked across the hall, again stopping in front of Jinyoung's room. He felt his heart beating out of his chest from nervousness, and he tried his best to calm down, before reaching out to open the door. He slowly pushed the door open, knocking simultaneously as he was so caught up in his nerves that he forgot to do that before hand. He was surprised, almost relieved though, when Jinyoung wasn’t there on the bed reading his book where Mark had last seen him not long ago.

Mark stepped back, closing the door, before slowly heading down the corridor. He walked past the bathroom which was empty, and Mark was confused as to where Jinyoung went. He continued on to the kitchen, looking in, and again, no one. Mark furrowed his brows, wondering how Jinyoung just disappeared so quietly. He walked on to the living room, peeking in, and his nervousness came back when he saw a pair of legs and the familiar shorts Jinyoung wears when he’s in the house. 

Mark gulped, feeling his throat dry, and he suddenly wanted to turn back. He wanted to forget it and just go back to ignoring the whole situation. He knew that wasn’t right though. It wasn’t right for him to do that to Jinyoung, or himself. Therefore, Mark willed himself on, slowly taking a few step into the living room until he was fully in Jinyoung's sight.

Jinyoung looked up from his book, noticing Mark's presence, and he looked a bit caught off guard. “Uh, I was just leaving…” he mumbled, getting up from where he sat on the couch and quickly heading towards the open doorway.

“Wait!” Mark suddenly called after him, Jinyoung stopping in his tracks and turning around to face the elder. “Um… can we… sit and figure things out?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung stared at him, looking at the couch, then looking back at Mark, before shaking his head. “I really should just go to my room…” Jinyoung said, turning to continue walking.

“Please...” Mark begged, stopping Jinyoung in his tracks again. “Just… let me say something to you… please?”

Jinyoung hesitated, seeming as if he were deciding if he wanted to stay or go, before turning back around and heading back to the couch, sitting down as he stared at the floor.

“Thank you…” Mark said, sitting next to him.

Jinyoung shifted slightly away from him, and Mark noticed the obvious distance Jinyoung wanted between them. He remembered how before, Jinyoung liked to sit almost on top of him, but now, there’s an empty void between them.

“Um… I just… I don’t really know where to start…” Mark stuttered, forgetting literally everything he’d just wanted to say to the younger.

“How about we start with you kissing me, then acting like it never happened?” Jinyoung said, his tone cold.

Mark felt as if the room dropped in temperature a few degrees. The conversation was already going in a direction Mark wanted to avoid. “Uh… well, I honestly still don’t know if that really happened…”

Jinyoung scoffed, shaking his head. “Of course, because I would lie to you, right? The person you claim to trust a lot would lie right to your face, wouldn’t he?”

“No, no, okay… I was wrong about calling you a liar… I just… I don’t know…” Mark trailed off, losing almost all train of thought he had as Jinyoung seemed to become even more upset with him.

“Just stop Mark, whatever you’re trying to do right now isn’t working.” Jinyoung said, standing up from the couch to walk away.

Mark lunged forward and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. “Please don’t go. Don’t go anywhere, stay here, please. I know I hurt you a lot, but I didn’t mean to…”

“ _ You didn’t mean to _ ? It doesn’t matter whether you meant to or not, you still did! Not just once, but over and over and over again! I can only take so much, Mark…” Jinyoung said, his voice cracking as he spoke.

“I know! I know, and I really didn’t want to hurt you! I was just confused and you were telling me things that didn’t make sense, and I was feeling things that also didn’t make sense, and I still don’t exactly get what I’m feeling right now, but I just know I need to make things okay with you, so we can go back to how we used to be…” Mark said, pulling Jinyoung back again to sit down.

“How we used to be isn’t what I want Mark. That’s never what I wanted. You’re too stupid to notice, but I wanted more than just that…” Jinyoung said, his eyes looking anywhere else but Mark.

The insult stung a bit, but Mark felt like he deserved it. “I know… I know I didn’t notice… and I know what you want… but… that’s just not for me Jinyoung. And I should have been more considerate of your feelings, I should have noticed sooner so I could tell you less harshly…”

Jinyoung shook his head. “If it's not for you, then why did you kiss me back?” Jinyoung asked, looking Mark in the eyes for the first time since they started talking.

“Jinyoung, I already told you, that kiss was- “

“Not just when we were drunk! I kissed you again in the bathroom, and you didn’t fight me off, you didn’t push me away, you let me do it. And you also let me sleep with you, and we cuddle sometimes, and you run your hand through my hair, and when I’m upset you hold me until I’m better, and you take care of me when I’m sick or tired, and you hold my hand when I’m nervous, and look at me like I’m the only person in the world and it makes me feel so good and special but then you just… you crush me… as if doing all that never mattered to you… why did you make me think that we could be more than just friends if that’s never what you wanted?” Jinyoung was crying again, his tears flowing heavier as he listed off only a few of the things Mark and him did.

Mark could pull up a different memory in his head with each thing Jinyoung listed, remembering how warm and happy he felt with Jinyoung in all of those moments. He didn’t know why he led Jinyoung on like that. He didn’t know why he allowed Jinyoung to fall for him when he never felt the same. Yet for some reason, saying that he never wanted more with Jinyoung felt wrong. It felt like he was telling a lie, even though he knew that he really didn’t return Jinyoung's feelings, right? He doesn’t like Jinyoung like that… does he? 

Mark realized that he's now second guessing himself. Is what he's thought about himself wrong? How exactly does he imagine him and Jinyoung's relationship? Does he  _ actually _ want more than to just be… friends?

“I… I don’t know… I didn’t mean to…” Mark stuttered as he tried to wrap his head around everything.

“You’re telling me you do these things without ever having thought once… just  _ once _ … that  _ maybe _ there could be more between us? It  _ never _ crossed your mind?” Jinyoung asked.

“I… I don’t know… I just… I mean, I like doing those things with you… and they make me feel good too, but…” Mark trailed off, not even sure what he was going to say.

“Then what is it, Mark? Why can’t you accept what you’re feeling?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark shook his head, unable to truthfully answer the question since he didn’t even know himself. “I just… it feels wrong… it feels like I shouldn't think about you like that, so I try not to…”

Jinyoung was quiet for a minute, looking as if he was thinking, before shaking his head. “Well… if you think it's so wrong, then maybe you’re right. Maybe it all really was a mistake…” Jinyoung said, getting up from the couch.

Mark didn’t like Jinyoung's tone. It sounded like he was tired, defeated. “ Wait… wait Jinyoung please…” Mark pleaded, reaching for Jinyoung's arm.

Jinyoung swatted Mark away. “No Mark… I’m just… I’m tired of this. It’s exhausting to continue to worry about someone who doesn’t give a shit about you. I’m… I’m done…” he continued walking, heading to his room.

“No, Jinyoung wait… come back please… I’m sorry Jinyoung please just come talk to me…” Mark said, watching Jinyoung continue to walk out, feeling powerless to stop him.

Jinyoung turned just slightly, and Mark could see fresh tears rolling down his face. “I'm sorry Mark… I just can't… I’m drained out at this point…”

“Nyoungie please don’t just walk away…” Mark begged, but Jinyoung kept going, and Mark just sat there watching through blurry eyes.  “Nyoungie, please... come back to me…” 

But Jinyoung was already gone, and all Mark heard in response was a door close down the hall, and a lock set in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I think I made some of you revenge hungry readers happy because Mark is hurting now.
> 
> I just wanna say that I. LOVE. LONG. COMMENTS. Like, the fact that a lot of you are so invested in the story makes me feel so happy and I like reading what you guys think about it lol.
> 
> Seriously yall make me uwu all the time :,)
> 
> NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOUR COMMENTS AFFECT THE STORY SO MUCH BECAUSE IM A CONFUSED B*TCH AND I WAS SO CONFLICTED ON WHAT TO DO WHILE WRITING THIS JEHDNEDK I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT
> 
> and apparently some person on wattpad is copy and pasting my Fifty Shades of Youngjae story on there as their own lmaooo I'm not even mad, we love UNORIGINAL QUWEENS because I am one too :,)  
> (I did work hard on writing that tho...)
> 
> Hi person thats copying me! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much that you wanted to claim it as your own (even tho that's copyright infringement unless you mention me!!) , I feel accomplished as a fanfic writer!


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I posted this yesterday night but I guess I fell asleep lol whoops.

Mark didn't know why it hurt so much.  
  
Seeing Jinyoung walk away from him like that literally gave Mark pain in his chest.  His throat tightened and he felt like he could barely breath. He couldn't see anything either, it was all blurry. He couldn't bring himself to move, so he just sat there on the couch, staring down the hallway that he hoped Jinyoung would come back through. Of course, he didn't.  
  
He felt weak, and helpless, and hopeless and it hurt so bad. Is this what Jinyoung was feeling? When Mark ran and pushed him away, was that what it felt like? Mark had no idea how Jinyoung was so strong, but he could understand how feeling that pain too many times could wear someone down. That's what seemed to have just happened, anyway.  
  
Mark tried to hold it all in. All the dreadful feelings of misery and guilt and despair flowed through him like a river, but he didn't want to just break down right there on the couch. He was close to bursting, but just on the edge. He somehow was eventually able to drag himself to his own room, looking over at Jinyoung's shut door that he wished wasn't locked as he passed by it. He wanted to go in there and say something, anything at all, to make the situation better, but Mark was convinced that Jinyoung didn't want to see or hear him right now.  
  
He continued on into his room, shutting the door behind him before crawling into his bed and covering himself to the neck with his covers, just staring at the wall as his world seemed to have stopped when Jinyoung left him there in the living room.  
  
Mark felt even more lonely than usual. He felt cold and sick and tired and just a combination of every bad feeling to ever exist. Mark felt disgusted with himself. Was something really wrong with him? He didn't even fully understand why he felt so bad, or why it hurt so much. He just didn't get it. But he definitely felt it.  
  
He soon heard the front door open and close, and voices filled the dorm. Some of the others had just arrived back from their schedules, and they were probably going to eat or take a nap soon. Mark hoped that none of them disturbed him as he wallowed in his sadness. Right after thinking that though, Mark heard a knock on his door, but he didn't move an inch. He didn't say anything either, he just hoped whoever it was would go away. Of course, the person didn't go away, and instead entered the room.  
  
“Mark, we’re back. But me and you still have to talk about yesterday.” Jackson said as he entered, closing the door behind him to give them privacy.  
  
“Jackson… not now…” Mark mumbled, barely having the energy to even talk.  
  
“No, you've ignored me long enough, look at me and talk to me.” Jackson said, pulling away Mark's covers as he sat on the bed.  
  
Mark sat up, looking at Jackson. “Jackson please…” Mark groaned, trying to just barely keep himself together.  
  
“No Mark, you need to talk to me, then you need to talk to Jinyoung, because this is ridiculous now.” Jackson scolded.  
  
“I know! Jackson I know… please just…” Mark stuttered as his voice started to break.  
  
“Mark?” Jackson called, wondering why Mark was suddenly so worked up. “Are you okay?”  
  
Mark shook his head. “N-No, I fucked up Jacks…  I fucked up with him…” Mark finally broke, tears rolling down his cheeks, catching Jackson off guard.  
  
“What happened?” Jackson asked, quickly pulling Mark into his arms.  
  
“I-I talked to him, but he was still angry at me, and I felt so bad, and I think I made it worse, and now I just feel like an even bigger piece of shit. Jackson, he hates me. He fucking hates me!” Mark wailed against Jackson’s chest.  
  
Jackson rubbed Mark's back in calming circles since the elder was far from calm. “Mark no… he doesn't hate you… I know he doesn't hate you, and you do too…”  
  
Mark shook his head. “No! He hates me! And it hurts so much Jacks, it really hurts… why does it hurt?…”  
  
Jackson gently rocked Mark in his arms, trying to ease the shaking elder. “He doesn't hate you. He loves you Mark. You heard him say it last night, didn't you?”  
  
Mark looked up at Jackson, now knowing that he definitely saw Mark eavesdropping on their conversation the night before. “I was just getting something to drink and I overheard you guys talking…”  
  
“You don't have to explain yourself. I'm actually glad you heard some of it. It seems to have affected you in a good way.” Jackson said, still rubbing Mark's back.  
  
“Even still… it just… I don't know what I'm feeling right now…” Mark said, burying his face in Jackson's chest.  
  
“Mark… I think you're finally starting to come to terms with your feelings…” Jackson said. “I think Jinyoung being upset with you is making you realize how much you care for him, and maybe not just only as a friend.”  
  
Mark was quiet as he thought about it, besides the sniffles that came from him. “I… I don’t know anymore… I don’t know how I feel about him…” Mark mumbled.  
  
“Well, have you been second guessing yourself lately?” Jackson asked.  
  
“Honestly, I've been doing that the whole time Jacks… every time I think I know what is right it just… it doesn’t _feel_ right. I've tried to convince myself that I was right but… it always feels wrong…” Mark confessed.  
  
Jackson was about to respond before another knock came to Mark’s door.  
  
“Jackson, are you in he- oh… oh no, what happened?” Jaebum said after opening the door when he saw Mark’s wet face and Jackson’s serious expression.  
  
“Uh, I told you about Mark and Jinyoung, right?” Jackson asked Jaebum, Mark being surprised by the news.  
  
“You told him!?” Mark asked while sniffling.  
  
“Well, I figured he would know how to deal with someone who won’t admit their feelings, so I asked him for some advice.” Jackson confessed.  
  
Jaebum stepped in and closed the door, sitting on the chair at Mark’s desk. “Youngjae did the same thing. I mean, I think this might a bit more extreme, but you need to just accept the truth that you don’t want to accept.” He said.  
  
Mark clutched onto Jackson tighter, almost like a baby monkey to its mother. “B-But I-... “  
  
“Stop right there. That’s you’re denial coming in. There is no ‘but’, Mark. It’s either, you like him, or you don’t. You think it’s more complicated than it is just because it’s Jinyoung and because he’s a guy, but trust me, it’s just like having a crush on any other person. Think about what you _truly_ feel.” Jackson stated.  
  
Mark frowned, trying to think about it. He knew that he should listen to them, but he was a stubborn person. It’s hard to get Mark to change his mind on something, and he still didn’t really want to believe what they were trying to tell him.  
  
“Okay, Mark…” Jaebum started. “Think about it like this… can you imagine yourself _without_ Jinyoung?” He asked, trying to make Mark think about the situation differently.  
  
Mark didn’t even need to think about his answer though. “Never.” He quickly replied.  
  
“Okay, and how would you feel if Jinyoung stopped hanging around you all the time?” Jaebum questioned.  
  
“He already has, and it feels terrible. I feel so lonely.” Mark confessed.  
  
“So then, you want him with you all the time?” Jaebum asked.  
  
“Yes.” Mark replied, again not even having to think about it.  
  
“24/7? Everyday and night?” Jaebum asked.  
  
“...Yes” Mark said.  
  
“You absolutely can’t live without him?” Jaebum asked.  
  
“I’d rather die than be here without him.” Mark replied, Jackson and Jaebum both watching as realization took over the elder.  
  
“Then what do you think that means...? “ Jackson trailed off, allowing Mark to answer the question for himself.  
  
“Then it means… _holy shit_.” Mark said, blinking a few times before looking at Jackson. “Do I… do I _really_ like him?” He asked.  
  
Jackson chuckled, “I mean, honestly, I think you do, but that’s something you have to figure out for yourself, not me.”  
  
“I… oh my god… I think… I like him? I think?… I think I do… I actually like a guy… holy _shit_ … I _like_ Jinyoung...” Mark finally, _finally_ admitted.  
  
Jaebum smiled. “And now, how do you feel? Since you finally got that off your chest?” He asked.  
  
Mark furrowed his brows. “I feel… funny? It’s tingly and weird but… I mean… all I’m thinking about right now is Jinyoung. I want to see him. And hug him. And just… oh my god… is something wrong with me?” Mark asked, the fact that he actually did like Jinyoung hitting him hard.  
  
“No Mark, nothing is wrong with you. You just discovered something about yourself that you refused to realize before.” Jackson stated.  
  
“But… no, this isn’t normal… why do I like him? It’s not right, is it?” Mark asked, still not completely convinced even after admitting it.  
  
“You know what, _you_ tell us Mark. Tell us why you like him.” Jaebum said, both him and Jackson looking to Mark for a reply.  
  
“Why I like him…? I don’t… I don’t know…” Mark mumbled as he blushed and looked away.  
  
“Yes you do. Just think, what is it about him that you can’t get enough of?” Jackson asked.  
  
Mark was quiet, only thinking about it for a few seconds before answering. “His… smile…”  
  
“Okay, Good. And what about his smile?” Jaebum asked further.  
  
Mark thought about it for a minute before hesitantly replying. “...I don’t like that he covers it all the time when he laughs, because it’s beautiful, I wanna smile just from seeing him smile…”  
  
Jaebum nodded. “What else about him?”  
  
Mark continued on. “...well, he’s just… handsome in general. Really handsome. And his lips are such a pretty pink color, and his hair is soft and I like touching it because it feels good in my fingers, and he’s always so warm, both physically and personality wise, he cares for me and helps me all the time…”  
  
“Alright, alright, I feel like if we don’t stop you now you’ll go on forever.” Jaebum said, making a deeper shade of blush settle on Mark’s cheeks.  
  
“So, when you think about all those things that you like about him, does it feel wrong?” Jackson asked.  
  
"I mean… at first it did a little bit, but… right now, after thinking about them... I really just want to go to his room and see his face… and hug him… and run my hands through his hair… and just… be with him…” Mark said, his eyes settling on the door as if he was about to get up and leave any second.  
  
“Well, he’s just across the hall, don’t you think you should go see him?” Jaebum asked.  
  
Mark thought about it, he really wanted to, yet he hesitated and shook his head. “I… no… no, he’s mad at me… I can’t…”  
  
“Yes you can Mark. You know how you feel about him, and I know it’s weird for you, but I think the sooner you tell him, the better.” Jaebum stated.  
  
“No, no you don’t understand…” Mark said, still shaking his head. “He doesn’t _want_ to see me, or be around me…he’s really pissed…”  
  
“Was the fight really that bad? That you can’t see each other at all?” Jackson asked with a frown.  
  
“He doesn’t _want_ to see me… I'd be too late anyway… he said he’s done.” Mark mumbled, leaning into Jackson who still hadn’t let him go.  
  
“What?” Jackson asked.  
  
“He said he’s tired of it. I think… I think he’s done with me…” Mark mumbled, Jackson resuming to rub his back as he heard his voice starting to shake again.  
  
“I think if you just approach him calmly and tell him that you seriously want to talk, he’d listen.” Jaebum said.  
  
“No, I’m telling you he won’t. That’s what I did earlier and… he tried to run away so many times… and the last time I tried to tell him to stay but he didn’t. He told me he was done…” Mark said, more tears flowing out as he remembered the painful scene.  
  
“I think he cares about you too much to just be ‘done’ like that…” Jackson said.  
  
“Yeah, from what Jackson told me, you’re both in way too deep to just forget about it. I think now that you came to accept what you feel, Jinyoung would understand if you just tell him everything truthfully.” Jaebum added.  
  
“I… don’t know… I can’t do it.” Mark stated.  
  
“You’re nervous…” Jackson stated, feeling the elder still shaking in his arms. “...I get it. It’s hard and new for you but, if you really want Jinyoung to at least forgive you, it starts with talking to him.”  
  
“And apologizing.” Jaebum added.  
  
“Oh yeah, a lot of apologizing.” Jackson agreed. “But I do think Jinyoung was in the wrong as well. He tried to push something on to you that you weren’t comfortable with.”  
  
“Even still, I was the bigger idiot out of the both of us. I think he deserves more of an apology than I do…” Mark said, wiping his face on Jackson’s shirt, the younger not complaining at all.  
  
“Aw, that sounded so mature, our Mark is growing up!” Jackson exclaimed.  
  
“Hey, I’m older than both of you…” Mark mumbled.  
  
“But you're a lot less experienced in this than we are. So technically, in this situation, we’re the hyungs. You should call us that.” Jaebum stated.  
  
“No you’re not, that doesn’t even make sense. I’m not doing that.”  Mark said.  
  
Jaebum chuckled. “Well, I tried.”  
  
“At least we know he’s still stubborn…” Jackson commented, laughing after feeling Mark hit him on the thigh.  
  
“Maybe you should give Jinyoung a few hours to cool off, then you go talk to him.” Jaebum suggested.  
  
“I think that’s a good idea. You get yourself together so that gives him enough time to calm down, and then just talk to him like you guys usually talk.” Jackson said.  
  
Mark nodded. “Okay… I guess I’ll try again…”  
  
“Good, I think it’ll turn out okay.” Jaebum said reassuringly.  
  
“Let me know how it went when I get back, okay?” Jackson asked.  
  
Mark looked at him, his eyes widening. “Wait… you’re not gonna be here later?”  
  
Jackson shook his head. “I have something else scheduled for later…”  
  
“What!? No! You have to be here!” Mark said. “What about you?” Mark asked Jaebum.  
  
“I think I’ll be here? I’m not sure, actually. They might need me to come into the studio again.” Jaebum said.  
  
“No, you guys can’t leave me! How will I know what to do or say?” Mark whined.  
  
“Mark, you’ll be fine if you just speak what you feel... they should be your own words anyway, not ours.” Jackson assured.  
  
“I tried doing that already and it didn’t work…” Mark mumbled.  
  
“That’s because you were feeling confused, so when you tried to talk to him, you couldn’t figure out what to say. You’re not confused now though, are you?” Jaebum asked.  
  
“No…?” Mark said still sounding a bit unsure.  
  
“Then you’ll be okay.” Jaebum said.  
  
“... So… you guys are sure he’ll forgive me?” Mark asked.  
  
“Well…” Jackson trailed off, making Mark nervous again.

“ _Well_? What do you mean _well_!?” Mark asked, starting to panic again.

“...I’m just saying, we can’t guarantee that he’ll be completely forgiving. I mean, he hates to hold grudges, but it might take him a few days to get over…” Jackson said, patting Mark on the back.  
  
Mark groaned. “Why is it so fucking complicated?...”  
  
Jaebum sighed, standing up from where he sat. “It’ll always seem like that, especially when you’re just now realizing the whole situation. Once you get the courage to tell Jinyoung how you really feel though, I think it’ll be worth it.” Jaebum said, ruffling Mark's hair before heading to the door. “I’m hungry, but call me if you need anything. Good luck, Mark.” He said before leaving.  
  
Mark was silent as he watched Jaebum leave, his mind still racing and heart pumping fast from just thinking about confronting Jinyoung again.  
  
“You okay?” Jackson asked.  
  
Mark shrugged, feeling somewhat better about accepting his feelings for Jinyoung, but not sure what to do now. All he could think about was Jinyoung.  
  
“... I want him back, Jacks…” Mark, mumbled into Jackson’s chest.  
  
“I know… you’ll be fine, don’t worry.” Jackson said, squeezing Mark tightly in his arms.  
  
The two stayed like that for who knows how long, Mark was just happy that he could confide in Jackson once again. He needed Jackson to help him figure out what was going on, and Jaebum was a big help too. He was glad he had a shoulder to cry on, quite literally, and someone he felt he could lean on when things got too hard, especially when Jinyoung was the one Mark was having trouble with.  
  
“Oh yeah… sorry about yesterday too…” Mark remembered to say, thinking about how he blew up at Jackson.  
  
“Its okay, I was right anyway, wasn't I?” Jackson said, nudging Mark's ribs.  
  
Mark giggled at the ticklish feeling. “Yeah, you were… still, I know you were trying to help and I, feel bad for yelling at you…”  
  
“I said it's okay, you have other things to worry about besides me.”  
  
“Yeah but, without you, I would still be lying here staring at the wall wondering what the hell was wrong with me." Mark stated.  
  
Jackson patted Mark on the shoulder before standing. “Let's eat something before I leave, you didnt have lunch yet, right?”  
  
Mark shook his head, slowly standing with Jackson pulling him towards the door. As he started to open it, Mark pulled back.  
  
“Wait! What if Jinyoung’s out there?...” Mark asked, a worried expression on his face.  
  
“Aw, you’re cute when your nervous~” Jackson cooed.  
  
“I’m serious! I’m not ready to face him just yet…” Mark tried to peek past Jackson to see if Jinyoung was anywhere nearby.  
  
“He’s probably still in his room, and even if we do run into him, he probably won’t talk to us. Like I said, give him a while to calm down. Besides, we live and work together Mark, you’d have to eventually see him at some point anyway.” Jackson said, pulling the door open and walking into the hall, bringing Mark after him.  
  
Mark became anxious as soon as he stepped out, looking over at Jinyoung's room door, which was still closed shut. He kept looking behind him as he walked down the hallway until he was in the kitchen. He quickly scanned the kitchen with his eyes before relaxing after he realized Jinyoung was nowhere in sight. He needed time to get himself together before he could talk to Jinyoung again, even though he longed to see him.  
  
Yugyeom and Youngjae were at the table eating sandwiches, and Mark joined them as Jackson went to get himself some food.  
  
“Oh my gosh, Mark is still alive!?” Yugyeom exclaimed upon seeing him.  
  
Mark rolled his eyes. “Don’t overreact…” he said in response.  
  
“It’s been like, over 24 hours since I’ve last seen you, I was starting to wonder if you even lived here anymore.” Yugyeom said, obviously exaggerating.  
  
“I just came to eat, and then it's back to hiding from _you_ in my room.” Mark said.  
  
Yugyeom chuckled. “Of course, food dragged him out of his den.”  
  
“I think he's just dealing with something, besides, we barely see Mark come out of his room during the day anyway.” Youngjae said.  
  
“Oh, I didn't know…” Yugyeom said, giving Mark an apologetic smile.  
  
“It's fine, actually. I think I've figured things out…” Mark said.  
  
Youngjae's eyes widened “Really?” he asked, looking back at Jackson who was making himself a sandwich.  
  
Jackson looked over at Youngjae and smiled, giving a small nod. Youngjae turned back in his chair, smiling at Mark.  
  
“Well, that's great.” Youngjae said, taking another bite of his sandwich.  
  
Yugyeom looked between everyone, a confused look on his face. “Oh no… why is everyone looking at each other like that? Is there a secret going around?”  
  
Youngjae shook his head. “Dont worry about it.”  
  
“So there _is_ a secret then… You guys never tell me anything…” Yugyeom pouted.  
  
“You just don't need to know. You'll probably find out soon anyway…” Jackson said, briefly looking at Mark and giving him a wink.  
  
“Whatever, I don't wanna know your stupid secrets anyway…” Yugyeom said, getting up from the table and leaving.  
  
Mark shook his head. “He still acts like a kid…”  
  
“He still _is_ a kid… a gigantic, 20 year old kid…” Jackson said while chuckling. “Oh, by the way Youngjae, Mark knows you know about him and Jinyoung.”  
  
Youngjae nodded. “Yeah, I can tell… so, you really figured out your feelings?” he asked.  
  
Mark nodded. “I still feel a bit uneasy about it… but, I don't want to keep lying to you guys, to Jinyoung, or to myself anymore.”  
  
“Good. So Jinyoung knows now too?” Youngjae asked.  
  
Mark looked down at the table, his face becoming expressionless. Jackson spoke up for him. “Not yet. Apparently he tried to talk to Jinyoung earlier, but Jinyoung is still pretty upset. He's going to try again later though.”  
  
“Oh… it'll be okay Mark, it must be nerve wracking though…” Youngjae said as he patted Mark on the shoulder.  
  
Mark nodded, covering his face with his hands.  
  
“He's nervous.” Jackson explained as he came back to the table with a sandwich for him and Mark. “He didn't even want to leave his room because he was afraid he'd run into Jinyoung…”  
  
“Oh… but, I mean, you had the courage to talk to him before, didn't you?” Youngjae asked.  
  
Mark shrugged. “Sort of, but he wasn't as upset with me before as he is now… I really messed up…”  
  
“Don't think that way, just think positive. That's what Jaebum tells me.” Youngjae said.  
  
“But… does it work?” Mark asked.  
  
“Well, not all the time, but it's better to think that things will go well instead of expecting them to go terribly wrong.” Youngjae said.  
  
Mark thought about it, figuring that Youngjae was probably right. It was hard to think positively though, especially with Jinyoung already being mad at him. He wanted to think that things would go well, but it was just the fact that he didn't know for certain what will happen that put him on edge.  
  
“I guess I'll try not to think too negatively about it…” Mark said, looking back down at the sandwich in front of him.  
  
“Good… if you need anything, I'll still be here.” Youngjae said, making Mark feel relieved that someone who he could turn to will be here when he confronts Jinyoung.  
  
“Well guys,...” Jackson started as he ate the last bites of his food and stood. “I gotta get going, the car is gonna be here for me any minute.”  
  
Mark gave Jackson a worried look, as he was still unhappy that Jackson couldn't stay with him.  
  
Jackson saw Mark's face and immediately hugged him. “You'll be fine, Jinyoung will understand.” he said, patting Mark on the head before heading towards the front door.  
  
“See you later.” Youngjae said.  
  
“Bye guys. Mark, good luck, but trust me, you'll be okay.” Jackson said, then he was heading towards the door.  
  
Mark listened for the sound of the front door opening opening closing behind him, his heart dropping as he realized he was left to deal with Jinyoung alone. Of course Mark trusted Youngjae and Jaebum, but Jackson was the person who could handle situations with him best. His nerves came back as he thought of Jinyoung again, his hands clutching onto the table.  
  
Youngjae noticed and tried to calm him again. “Stop worrying Mark, aren't you and Jinyoung super close? Just talk to him like normal.”  
  
“Yeah… okay… I just need a while to get my thoughts straight...” Mark said.  
  
“Do it whenever you feel comfortable. Don't push yourself too much, or else it will feel unnatural and weird.” Youngjae suggested.  
  
Mark nodded. “Okay… thanks…” he said, getting up from his seat and taking his food to his room with him.  
  
“Good luck…” Youngjae called after him.  
  
Mark nodded, walking out of the kitchen and back to his room. He realized that everyone kept saying ‘good luck’, as if he needed it. Does he need luck to get Jinyoung to forgive him? He wasn't sure, but if he did, he hoped he had a lot of luck.  
  
Mark was on edge for the remainder of the day, doing various things to try and keep his mind off of Jinyoung. If he thought about him too much, he would start to worry and panic, so he tried his best not to. He occupied himself with the usual things, games and online videos, to keep himself from dwelling too much on the situation.  
  
He somewhat wished the day moved faster, so that he could just get it over with. He could go and talk to Jinyoung now, since it has been a few hours, but Mark thought that it still may be a bit too soon, and he should wait until maybe sometime after dinner to confront him. A full belly makes people slightly happier anyway, right?  
  
Mark wanted to text Jackson and ask him what he should say to Jinyoung first, but he's working now, so that wouldn't be smart. Jaebum did end up having to go back to the studio too, so he couldn't talk to him either. He could ask Youngjae, but Mark remembered that they said he should handle it himself. He figured they were right though, whatever he says should be his own words, not a copy of someone else's.  
  
Just the thought of that made him more nervous though. He'd rather just read off a script instead of come up with the words himself. Jinyoung would be good at that, Mark thought. He's a great actor.  
  
Just as Mark realized his mind was drifting back to Jinyoung and he was making himself on edge again, BamBam yelled from somewhere in the dorm that him and Yugyeom had brought home dinner. Food was always Mark's savior.  
  
Mark left from his room and headed to the kitchen, inspecting the table to see what they had got. He grabbed a plate and sat down, just about to grab some good when he saw a figure in the doorway out of the corner of his eye. Mark just glanced over, not registering who it was until he looked again, realizing Jinyoung was standing there, staring at the table.  
  
Mark's heart felt like it skipped a beat and dropped at the same time at the sight of him. He hadn't seen Jinyoung since this morning, and the last thing he saw was a tear rolling down his face. The memory burned in Mark's head, and he wished that wasn't the first thing he thought of when he first noticed Jinyoung.  
  
Jinyoung stood in the doorway just staring at the food, as if he were debating if he wanted to eat it or not. He didn't once look at Mark, at least as far as Mark knew, he didn't. Without a word, Jinyoung sat down in the seat diagonal from Mark, ultimately deciding that he would sit and eat.  
  
“Thanks.” he heard Jinyoung mumble, probably towards BamBam and Yugyeom for the food.  
  
Mark decided not to try and talk to him right at the moment, wanting to let Jinyoung eat in peace. He didn't expect to see him so suddenly though. He wished they could just talk like normal again, making jokes at each other and just being close like they once were just a week or so ago.  
  
Mark ate his food with as minimal glances towards Jinyoung as possible, but it was nearly impossible for him to keep his eyes off the younger. He even tried to listen in on BamBam and Yugyeom's conversation about whatever those two talk about, but it didn't interest him nearly as much as Jinyoung did. Mark caught himself staring again and he quickly looked away, just then realizing something.  
  
“Guys, where's Youngjae?” Mark asked, realizing that he wasn't eating with them.  
  
“He's sleeping I think, he said he was really tired from a long night.” BamBam responded.  
  
Mark nodded, relieved that Youngjae was still here, yet he's no help if he’s asleep. Mark remembered though, that Youngjae was up late the night before consoling Jinyoung as he sat here crying over him, so Mark couldn't really be upset about him sleeping.  
  
As they finished up their food, Mark grew more and more anxious. He knew that it would soon be time to face Jinyoung, but he still was unsure of himself. He didn't know how much longer Jinyoung would be out of his room, so Mark knew he had to take the opportunity while he had it.  
  
He finished his food and cleaned up the mess, helping the others wrap up and save everything for Jaebum and Jackson when they get back. Jinyoung surprisingly helped too, but he stayed as far from Mark as possible. Mark felt bad, but it wasn't the time to start shutting down, he really needed to focus on what he was going to do.  
  
Yugyeom and BamBam disappeared to watch T.V. in the living room, while Mark noticed Jinyoung heading straight back to his room when they finished cleaning. Mark thought it was now or never, so he quickly followed after Jinyoung who was already walking into his room. Mark placed his hand on the door just before Jinyoung could close it, watching as the younger looked up from the floor to his face.  
  
It was really now, or never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE MARKSON IS STRONG IN THIS ONE.
> 
> No but honestly, why am I making Jackson such an angel??? Like, I'm starting to ship him with Mark now heLP.
> 
> Anyway, this is Markjin... only Markjin thoughts... *breath in, breath out*
> 
> Btw, I dont usually have a favorite part of my own stories (because I lowkey think it's all trashh) but in this chapt I think when Mark finally realizes he likes Jinyoung is cute asfndjndkns


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops my hand slipped.

Mark hesitated, not knowing what to do now. Him and Jinyoung were just standing there face to face, staring at each other. Mark realized he should say something before it got too awkward.

“Um… just… can we talk?” Mark asked, almost a repetition of earlier that day.

Jinyoung didn't answer, and instead pushed against Mark's hand with the door, trying to close it. Mark was caught off guard, but he quickly pushed back, not allowing Jinyoung to just close him out again. Jinyoung eventually stopped, seeing that him and Mark had pretty matched strengths, even with their height difference.

“Jinyoung please, let's just do this calmly...” Mark said, taking a step forward into the room.

Instead of answering for the second time, Jinyoung pushed Mark away again, the elder having to struggle against him to not be completely locked out of the room. Again, Mark was stubborn and wouldn't let Jinyoung push him out.

“Can you stop pushing me away? I'm not here to fight with you…” Mark said.

Jinyoung looked at Mark. “Then what do you want?” he mumbled.

Mark was surprised that Jinyoung finally answered, blinking a few times before responding. “I… want to straighten things out with you. For real this time. Not like what happened this morning… let's talk...”

“I don't want to talk to you.” Jinyoung said flatly, again trying to close the door in Mark's face.

“ _ Stop it, _ Jinyoung…” Mark said, pushing the door open and walking inside.

Jinyoung clicked his tongue since he failed at keeping Mark out of his room. He sighed, closing the door and walking over to his bed, sitting down on it and staring at Mark.

“Fine. You won't go away unless we talk, huh? Then talk.” Jinyoung said.

Jinyoung's sharp tone stung a bit, but Mark knew it was because of him, and he had to fix it. He felt his nervousness coming back, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“I just… I want to explain myself…” Mark started.

“Haven't you done that already? I know what you're gonna say, so don't bother.” Jinyoung stated.

“No you don't, if you'd just listen- “ Mark tried to continue before getting cut off.

“I've listened long enough. You told me how you felt, and now I'm over it. Shouldn't you be happy?” Jinyoung asked, looking away. 

Mark shook his head. “No! I'm not happy at all! I didn't mean to hurt you Jinyoung, I really didn't, and I feel like a peice of shit for constantly being so oblivious to you and how you felt, and now it feels like you hate me, and that doesn't make me happy at all…”

Jinyoung was quiet for a minute, his face softening before speaking. “I don't hate you…” he mumbled.

“Yes you do, and I understand that, I deserve it, but- “

“No, I don't hate you. I could never hate you. You don't deserve to be hated at all. You may deserve to be slapped, but not hated.” Jinyoung said, still not looking at Mark.

“Well… I guess being slapped is not as bad as being hated… but I just… I want to say that I'm sorry… I'm really sorry… I honestly didn't know how much you were hurting, and if I had realized sooner then maybe none of this would have happened…” Mark said, looking at Jinyoung.

“...Okay…” was all Jinyoung responded with after a few moments of silence.

Mark didn't really know exactly what that meant. “Does that mean… you're accepting my apology?” he asked.

“I… don't know…” Jinyoung said. “It's not really just because you hurt me or disregarded my feelings. It's also the things you said, and the way you treated me, and how you led me on for all this time to just break my heart… all of that was just… too much…”

Mark felt his own chest hurting at hearing Jinyoung's defeated tone. “I-I know… and I'm sorry about all that too. I’m telling you, I would never hurt you purposely… I might've said or did things that I regret in the spur of the moment, but never to make you upset.”

Jinyoung nodded, now looking down at his hands that rested on his lap. “I'm just… I'm still recovering right now… emotionally…” 

Mark stepped closer, wanting to pull Jinyoung into his arms and say it'd be okay, but he didn't. “Its my fault… I… cherish you a lot, Jinyoung… and the way I acted over the past week or so did not show that… I  think I should be more honest with you, and myself… so, I need to tell you…”

Jinyoung looked at Mark, his eyebrows furrowing as the elder trailed off his sentence.  “...What? What is it?” 

Mark hesitated, feeling his heart pound against his rib cage. He felt like he was back in high school, telling his ‘crush’ at the time that he wanted to date her. It felt exactly like that, but a thousand times more intense, probably because it was now Jinyoung who he was confessing to, not some random high school girl he didn't even really like that much, but someone he’s been with and grown closer to for many years.

“I… I had time to think, and… I realized that I had been ignoring my true feelings…” he slowly said, watching as Jinyoung's eyes grew more attentive.

“O-Okay?” Jinyoung stuttered, looking very confused.

“So, because of that, I had been ignoring how I truly feel… about you. It felt wrong in my head but… when I think about you, my heart beats faster and I feel butterflies… it's a weird tingly warm feeling that makes me smile a lot, but it's caused by you…” Mark confessed.

“Wait… so… s-so what exactly are you saying Mark?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes already wide as he stared at Mark.

“I'm saying that… I think… no, I'm  _ sure _ that I have feelings for you, Jinyoung. I tried to deny it before but, I realized that was stupid and I should've just accepted it a long time ago…” Mark said, relieved that he finally said it.

Jinyoung was quiet for some time, Mark just awkwardly standing there in front of him as Jinyoung let what Mark had just revealed sink in. He looked as if he was deep in thought, staring at the floor as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

“I-I see…” Jinyoung started. “I… I don't know what to say, Mark…”

“I just wanted you to know that I do like you back,  _ a lot _ actually… and I was hoping that, if you could forgive me, then maybe we could… start something between us?” Mark asked pretty directly.

Jinyoung looked caught off guard by Mark's somewhat straight forward suggestion. His eyes darted around as he seemed to be processing everything Mark had told him. Mark waited patiently for his response, staring at the seemingly overwhelmed younger.

Jinyoung suddenly shook his head. “M-Mark, I… I really don't know what to say…” Jinyoung covered his face with his hands.

“What's wrong?” Mark asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I just… I… I don't think we can do that, Mark…” Jinyoung mumbled behind his fingers.

Mark's heart dropped. “W-What?” he asked.

“I don't think… I don't think we should try and be together… “ Jinyoung said, removing his hands from his face and looking down at the floor.

Mark was confused. Suddenly, he forgot how to breathe. “W-Why? Why not?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I just… I don't think it's a good idea…”

“B-But… why? Jinyoung, why? There has to be a reason…” Mark said, stepping a bit closer to the younger.

“It’s… I… I think it's just too late… I don’t think we'd be compatible anymore…” Jinyoung said, looking just as hurt as Mark felt.

“But… But I  _ really _ like you… is there something wrong with me? I'll change! I'll do whatever you want Jinyoung, please. What did I do wrong? I'll fix it, I'll fix everything, just tell me so we could be together… so we could go back to cuddling and laughing like we used to...” Mark begged, grabbing Jinyoung's hand.

Jinyoung seemed unable to bring himself to look at Mark, who was desperately clinging onto his hand. “I’m…  sorry. We just can't… I'm so sorry…” he said, his own voice shaking as he pulled his hand away from Mark.

Mark shook his head. “ B-But, don’t you like me? Don’t you still want to be with me?” He asked.

“I did like you… but… now I’m not too sure of my feelings anymore, and I don’t want to start any sort of relationship if I don’t even know if I like you anymore. Maybe you were just… the wrong guy to fall in love with…” Jinyoung stated, his voice sounding sad.

That hit Mark hard, as he never expected Jinyoung to say that to him. He held his hand on his chest, as a sudden pain shot through it. Mark started to feel as if the walls were closing in on him. How could Jinyoung just do that to him? After everything he's said and confessed, how could he just deny his heart so easily? Mark looked at Jinyoung who refused to look back at him.

“I… I… Jinyoung, just… think about it?” Mark stuttered, feeling his voice slowly fail to come out of him.

Jinyoung shook his head. “I thought about it a lot… and I think this is just the best decision for us… I'm sorry… I’m really sorry...”

Mark shook his head, feeling as if he were about to collapse any minute. He couldn't stay in that room any longer. He had to get out. He quickly left, slamming the door behind him. He walked out into the hall heading straight for Jackson's room. He didn't even knock, just opened it, and he was relieved to see that Jackson had come back at some point during his and Jinyoung's conversation.

Jackson was laying on his bed using his phone as Mark walked in and closed the door behind him, sitting up when he noticed the elder.

Jackson's eyes were wide in anticipation. “Mark! You weren't in your room when I came back, so I assumed you were talking to Jinyoung. So? How did it go?” Jackson asked.

Mark stood there, too many feelings for him to process going through him. He could barely breath and his chest was hurting too much, his mind shut down, he couldn't think about anything. He tried to calm himself, but he was too broken and it hurt too much. He couldn't even respond to Jackson’s question before he had fallen to his knees and started sobbing. Only moments later was Jackson there on the floor with him, his arms around Mark who was bawling into his chest.

Jackson whispered reassuring words to the elder, who wasn't reassured at all. He'd just experience heartbreak with a man who he didn't even realized he wanted until earlier that day, how could he feel anymore tragic? 

Even through all of Mark's negative thoughts he had throughout the day, there was always that one little sliver of hope. He thought that he had even the slightest possibility of getting Jinyoung back, but that didn't work out. He thought that he would at least get his forgiveness, but Mark wasn't sure if he even had that.

He felt his heart shatter in to millions of pieces, and he couldn't handle it. He was violently shaking in Jacksons arms, continuously sobbing. He couldn't make himself stop, the tears just flowing out of him. He felt like he couldn't even stand, but Jackson didn't seem to complain at all as he tried to comfort the elder.

“Mark? Mark tell me what happened.” Jackson urged as Mark was still sobbing.

Mark shook his head, still getting the last of his feelings out through his tears, holding onto Jackson tightly as if he was afraid the younger would leave him too. He was trying to think about what went wrong. Why did Jinyoung deny him? Mark apologized and asked for forgiveness and told him how he honestly felt, yet Jinyoung seemed to just ignore all of that. Like he just didn't care anymore.

Mark was lost and confused, and it felt worse with a broken heart. He was gasping for air at some point, as he was crying so hard and was so worked up that he could barely breathe. Jackson gave him a tissue to wipe his face, trying again to get an answer from Mark.

“Mark, tell me what happened…” Jackson repeated.

Mark sniffled, his voice coming out weak and raspy as he tried to speak. “He… he doesn't want me… I told you he wouldn't… I told you…”

Jackson wore a look of surprise on his face. “He denied you? He didn't even think about it?”

“He said he had thought about it already and told me that we weren't “compatible” anymore. What does that even mean? What the fuck does that even mean!?” Mark wailed, more tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Mark calm down… I know your hurting…” Jackson said in a calm and soothing tone.

“It hurts so bad… worse than how it hurt this morning. He told me to my  _ face _ , Jackson. He sat right there in front of me and said we couldn't be together. How could he fucking do that!?” Mark asked.

“I… I didn't imagine he would say no, Mark… it seemed like he wanted to be with you as much as you want to be with him… did he at least forgive you?” Jackson asked.

Mark shook his head. “I don't even know…” his voice broke as he sobbed again. “He said those exact words. He told me he didn't know if he could forgive me… was I  _ really _ that bad Jackson? Did I hurt him  _ that _ much?”

Jackson gave Mark a sorry look while shaking his head. “I'm sorry Mark, I don’t know. Only Jinyoung knows how he feels. When I talked to him yesterday though, he seemed pretty upset, but that's about all I can give you…”

Mark let out a shaky breath, his head pounding from crying too much. “He fucking hates me. I told you he did…”

“He does not. Stop saying that. If you were to tell him that, he'd quickly tell you the opposite.” Jackson said firmly.

“I  _ did _ say that to him…” Mark confessed.

“And how did he respond?” the younger asked.

“... He told me that he could never hate me… that was basically the only good thing he said…” Mark recalled.

“Well then, at least you know he doesn't hate you, even though that's pretty obvious.” Jackson said, trying to point out the positive. 

“He doesn't  _ like _ me though… I want him to be next to me and I want to talk and joke like we used to… but he got rid of the feelings he had for me…” Mark said through sniffles.

“I don't believe that.” Jackson stated, Mark looking up at him because of his firm denial. “There is no way Jinyoung could have just thrown the feelings he had for you away like that. You should've seen how his eyes lit up when he talked about you, and how happy he looks when you're involved… that's real love, Mark.”

Mark shook his head. “Stop, you're reminding me of the things I like about him… there's nothing anyway... he told me to my face that we couldn't be anything… he said it was too late… and that maybe I was the wrong person to fall in love with...” 

“Wrong person…?” Jackson repeated. He shook his head, holding Mark tighter against him. “I… I don't know why he would say that… I'm sorry, Mark…” was all he said in response.

Mark felt hopeless at that point. Usually Jackson is able to tell him what to do, but it seems like he was just a confused as Mark was. Mark just wanted to continue crying, as that's all he seemed to be good at doing anyway. Eventually at some point, Jackson had picked him up from the floor and put him in his bed, Mark too upset to even notice.

“It's late, you should sleep.” Jackson said, sitting on the bed next to him.

“Jinyoung used to sleep with me… because it was cold in his room… and he’d want to cuddle all the time… he felt so warm...” Mark mumbled, the only thing on his mind being the person who broke him.

“Stop thinking about Jinyoung. We can worry about it tomorrow, but you need to get some rest.” Jackson said firmly.

Mark shook his head. “I can't stop thinking about him. Where did I go wrong, Jacks? Why doesn't he like me?” 

Jackson sighed. “I don't know. I really can't tell you. What I  _ do _ know is that you need to sleep. Please at least try to rest?”

“I'm not tired. I don't want to sleep, I want Jinyoung.” Mark said, sounding like a kid demanding for his stuffed toy.

“I know you do, but he's obviously still a bit upset, so maybe tomorrow we can try again, okay?” Jackson almost pleaded.

Mark was in fact tired, his heart hurt, and he was exhausted from crying so much. But he really did want Jinyoung. He knew that Jackson was just looking out for him, which Mark appreciated, but his mind couldn't stop racing about Jinyoung. All the good things that he loved and adored about the younger replayed in his mind, along with the constant reminder that he could never have them to himself.

“... I already tried again… he just… doesn't want anything to do with me.” Mark mumbled, his voice cracking.

“He might just need more time. I mean, you guys fought literally earlier this morning, maybe it was a bit too soon to try and talk again. After a good night's sleep, it might be a bit better…” Jackson suggested.

Mark sat up, turning to face Jackson. “And what am I supposed to say, huh? I've said everything I could at this point! I told him I was sorry, I told him I regret treating him so carelessly, I told him that I've accepted my feelings for him, and looked what happened Jackson!... I did everything you and Jaebum and Youngjae told me to do, and nothing has changed…”

Jackson took in a breath, looking as if he felt guilty. “I know… I really can't figure it out… I mean… should I talk to him for you? Maybe I can see what's wrong?” Jackson suggested.

Mark suddenly felt bad at yelling at Jackson again, seeing how quickly the younger took on Mark's problems as if they were his own. “No… no Jacks…  I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. You don't have to get yourself any more involved in this than you already have, you’ve tried your hardest and right now, you're the only person keeping me together at this point…”

“I’m just glad you started coming to me for help instead of suffering by yourself… even when I can’t always give you the advice you need...” Jackson replied.

He immediately pulled Mark into a hug again, noticing that as he spoke his eyes started to water again. He let the elder cry himself to sleep on his shoulder, gently laying him back down on the bed to rest once he’d drifted off, and not leaving his side the whole night.

\---------------------------

Mark woke up, slightly confused as to why he wasn't in his room. It only took him a minute or so to remember what had transpired the day before, and he suddenly didn't even want to get up anymore. He felt soft waves of air on his cheek, and turned his head to be faced with Jackson's sleeping face. The fact that Jackson had stayed with him all night (even though they were in  _ his _ room anyway), made Mark feel at least the tiniest bit better, but he still felt terrible from the night before.

Jackson still had his arms wrapped around Mark, preventing the elder from being able to move without waking him up. Not like he wanted to get up anyway. He wanted to just lay there all day and wallow in his sadness. He didn't feel like moving, or showering, or even eating, and eating almost  _ always _ makes Mark feel better.

Mark sighed, his chest beginning to hurt slightly again as he started thinking about Jinyoung. He wanted to see him, but at the same time he didn't. He wanted everything between them to just be okay, but it wasn't. Nothing was okay. And Mark felt like it was all his fault.

He sighed in disappointment in himself. He wished he was better at handling things like love and emotions, but he just wasn't. It's not everyday that Mark had feelings for someone he wouldn't admit to them, and it isn't everyday that those feeling he finally decided to let out gets rejected.

He must've sighed pretty heavily, as he suddenly felt a hand caressing his hair. He looked over and Jackson was staring back at him, just barely having woken up.

“Are you okay?...” he asked sleepily. Mark could tell he had literally just opened his eyes only moments ago. 

“I'm alright, I guess…” Mark said, trying not to make Jackson worry over him.

“Bullshit.” the younger mumbled, making Mark look over at him in surprise. “I can tell you're still upset. You can't lie to me Mark.” 

Mark shrugged. “I wasn't really trying to…”

Jackson slowly sat up, stretching as he started to awaken more. “Either way, you wouldnt be ‘ _ alright _ ’ after the night you've had.”

Mark shook his head. “It still hurts…” he said, holding his chest.

“I know… it's gonna hurt until you two figure this whole thing out.” Jackson said, looking down at Mark.

“I don't know if we will…” Mark mumled.

Jackson slapped him on the thigh, the elder yelping from the pain. “Hey, don't say that. Remember what Youngjae told you?”

“Uh… no, but did you have to hit me?” Mark asked, rubbing his thigh.

Jackson sighed. “He said think positive. You can't tell yourself that it's never going to work out, or else it really won’t. You and Jinyoung have something between you, and it can't just end like this.”

Mark shrugged again, still feeling hopeless. “Maybe…” he said.

Jackson stared at the elder who seems to have given up. He stood from where he sat and walked around the bed to Mark, grabbing the elders arm and pulling him.

“Jackson what are you doing…” Mark groaned as he lazily pulled his arm back.

“I'm getting you up. You can't just lay her moping around all day.” Jackson said.

“No… I don't wanna...” Mark said, trying to get Jackson to let go of him.

Jackson just pulled harder. “Mark get up. Seriously, I'm not letting you do this.”

“No, Jackson please. I don't want to. I want to just lay here and cry.” Mark whined like a child.

“And I'm not allowing that. Get. Up.” Jackson said, pulling Mark harder than before.

Mark almost fell off the bed, catching himself just in time to not hit the floor. “Fine, fine, just stop pulling me.” he said.

Jackson grinned and let go of Mark’s arm, allowing him to get himself together and stand up by himself.

“I'm up now, okay?” Mark said slightly annoyed.

“Good, now let's go eat something. Food always puts you in a better mood.” Jackson said, hooking his arm in Mark's and dragging him towards the door.

“No, Jackson,  _ no _ .” Mark said, pulling back again.

Jackson turned back and frowned. “Why? Food always makes you better...”

“I don't think it will this time. And I don't want to go out there anyway…” Mark said.

“Mark, you can't hide forever.” Jackson said.

“I can try.” Mark responded.

Jackson rolled his eyes. “No, because I'm not allowing you to do that. As long as I'm around, you can't use any excuses to get out of doing things.” Jackson said, pulling Mark after him towards the door.

“Jackson, Jackson wait,  _ please _ .” Mark said, the younger turning around and seeing fear in Mark’s eyes.

Jackson frowned. “...You're afraid? Of what, seeing Jinyoung?” he asked.

Mark quietly nodded, looking at Jackson desperately.

Jackson patted Mark on the shoulder, giving him the warmest smile. “It'll be okay. Come on, I'll be there with you the whole time.”

Mark hesitated, still a bit worried, but he nodded and followed Jackson out into the hallway, his nerves on edge as they headed to the kitchen. Mark immediately scanned the kitchen when he entered, seeing who he was hoping he wouldn't. Jinyoung had his back to Mark, searching in the refrigerator for something. Mark paused, not wanting to be in the same room as him, but Jackson gave Mark a reassuring smile and pulled him along, not allowing the elder to run and hide like he desperately wanted to. Jaebum was also in the kitchen, sitting at the table. He looked up and noticed the two walk in.

“Morning.” Jaebum said.

“Morning.” Jackson responded.

Mark didn’t say anything, as he was too afraid to make his presence known to Jinyoung. He sat at the table with Jaebum quietly, looking down at his feet. Jinyoung heard them talking and turned to look at who just walked in. He spotted Jackson and said good morning to him, but he didn’t notice Mark yet, which made the elder even more on edge about being there.

“Mark, you want me to get you something to eat?” Jackson asked, making Mark flinch at the sound of his own name.

If Jinyoung didn’t know Mark was there before, he definitely knew now. At the sound of Mark’s name, Jinyoung turned back around and scanned the kitchen until he finally locked eyes with Mark, quickly looking away and ignoring the fact that he was there. Mark felt his throat tighten, he didn’t know what to do.

“Uh, j-just give me the cereal, please…” Mark said sort of awkwardly.

Jackson nodded, grabbing some cereal and milk for Mark as he prepared his own ‘organic’ breakfast. Mark’s eyes darted from Jinyoung to Jackson to somewhere else, as he didn’t exactly know where to look. Jackson came back to the table with Mark’s cereal, and all he tried to do was focus on eating rather than the awkwardness of the situation.

“You okay, Mark?” Jaebum suddenly asked.

Mark looked over at him as he opened the cereal box. “Uh, yeah… I’m fine, why?”

Jaebum shook his head. “Nothing, it’s just… I don’t know, you looked sort of unsettled.”

Mark wished he could leave because the situation was becoming way too awkward, but it would be too weird to leave so soon without eating, and Jackson wouldn’t let him anyway.

“N-No… I’m okay…” Mark responded.

Jinyoung turned from where he was standing at the counter with his own plate of food, heading to the table to sit. Mark watched him out of the corner of his eye, becoming anxious as he neared and sat down. Not long after though, Jackson joined them, and Mark felt a bit better having Jackson there with him. They sat and ate in quiet, as usual for them, but Mark just wanted to finish his food quickly and leave. It was too soon for him to be so close to Jinyoung again, his chest hurt from just thinking about it.

“How was your sleep?” Jinyoung suddenly asked.

Mark assumed that he was talking to Jaebum or Jackson, so he continued eating. The question though, remained unanswered, and Mark looked up to see that Jinyoung was looking at him expectantly. He almost choked, not realizing Jinyoung had been talking to him, and the sudden interaction with the younger caught him off guard.

“Y-You’re asking me?” Mark stuttered after he prevented himself from choking on cereal.

Jinyoung nodded, not breaking eye contact.

“Uh… um… it was… okay…” Mark said awkwardly, his eye shifting back down to his bowl.

“Oh, I see..” Jinyoung responded. “Oh, would you like some juice?”

Mark blinked, again not completely registering the question. “M-Me?, you're talking to me again?” He asked.

Jinyoung chuckled. “Yeah, are you okay Mark? You seem out of it.”

Mark shook his head, his brain not processing what was going on. “Ah, n-no, no I’m fine… I think…”

“Oh, okay.” Jinyoung responded, giving him a cup. “ So, juice?”

Mark nodded, his eyes darting over to Jackson as Jinyoung poured him some juice, who was watching and smiling at their interaction.

“There you go.” Jinyoung said after pouring the juice. He stood from where he was sitting, since he’d finished his food. “I’m going to shower just so you guys know in case you need me for anything.”

Jackson and Jaebum acknowledged his statement, while Mark just sat and stared at him. As Jinyoung was walking out, he ruffled Mark’s hair, and continued on to the bathroom. As soon as Jinyoung left and they heard the bathroom door close, Jaebum leaned forward eagerly.

“So Mark, it seems like you and him are finally getting along!” Jaebum said excitedly.

Mark was still confused on what just happened, blinking a few times before shaking his head. “What the fuck?”

Mark was confused. He couldn’t figure out why Jinyoung was so suddenly nice to him. Just last night, Jinyoung was pushing him out, telling him they weren’t compatible together, breaking Mark's heart on the spot, yet the next morning he’s all nice and sweet. That wasn’t like Jinyoung, and Mark knows when Jinyoung is acting. Fixing a broken relationship doesn’t happen overnight, and Mark wished that things would be okay between them that quickly and easily, but when dealing with Jinyoung, he knows that's impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys hate me bwahhaahaaha. Sorry, I just ddint feel like ending the story so soon so I caused more problems *evil smirk*
> 
> Also, have I mentioned that Jackson is an angel yet? JACKSON. IS. A. LITERAL. ANGEL. IM. DYING.  
> I need me a man like Jackson in my life wooow
> 
> Plz leave thoughts if you have any :)


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I updating too much or...????

“No Jackson, it doesn't make sense!” Mark said, pacing back and forth in his room.

“I mean, yeah it doesn't but, shouldn't you be happy that you guys aren't awkward anymore?” Jackson asked from where he sat on Mark's bed.

“No! It’s still awkward! Why is he being so nice to me? After shredding my heart into pieces, he asks me if I want some fucking juice?” Mark asked, shaking his head.

“I know, it’s a bit weird, I was surprised as well that he didn't seem upset…” Jackson said, looking up at the ceiling as he thought.

“Well, maybe he feels bad, so he's treating Mark nicely to make up for it?” Jaebum suggested, who also ended up in Mark's room.

“I don't know! I don’t know…” Mark said, covering his face with his hands. “Does he enjoy making me so confused like this?” He mumbled.

“I think Jinyoung is just as confused as you are, I mean, he told you he wasn’t sure about his own feelings for you anymore, right? I think you both are just going crazy over one another.” Jackson said.

“Which is even more of a reason to hurry up and get you two together so we can stop this already.” Jaebum added.

Mark sighed, flopping himself on his bed. “I already told you guys, he doesn’t want me…”

Jackson turned to look at the suffering man next to him. “And I already told you that’s impossible. Aren’t you tired of fighting this fight that’s becoming way more than it needs to be?” He asked.

“Yeah, I mean, you both have done irrational things because of each other, cried for hours over each other, and are constantly confused by each other, isn’t this enough already?” Jaebum asked.

Mark sat up and looked between the two of them. “I can’t control what happens between us! Of course I’m tired of this, which is why I owned up to my feelings and told him, but look who got rejected!” He said, throwing up his hands in defeat.

“Mark, it seems to me that the only way you and Jinyoung could ever end up working out is if you both are honest. You weren’t honest with your feelings before, and Jinyoung suffered because of that. Now it seems the tables have turned and you’re now suffering because Jinyoung is hiding his own feelings.” Jackson explained.

“But… why would he do that? This whole time he’s been so obvious with his feelings for me, and suddenly he wants to act like nothing happened? It just doesn’t make sense…” Mark said, groaning in annoyance.

“Well, like I said, maybe he feels guilty about hurting you, even though you hurt him first.” Jaebum suggested.

“Or maybe he’s still hurting and is hiding it with a smile?” Jackson also suggested.

Mark shook his head. “I don’t know… it's all so confusing…”

“I can’t figure him out either, and I’ve known him the longest…” Jaebum said as he stood. “I got a schedule today so I gotta get going, but I really hope you figure things out with Jinyoung.”

“I’ve lost all hope…” Mark responded, watching Jaebum walk out the door. He yelped when Jackson suddenly smacked his arm.

“Remember, positive thoughts.” He scolded the elder.

“Can you stop hitting me?” Mark asked, annoyed by the sudden stings he feels on his skin whenever negative thoughts worked their way into his mind.

“Sure, if you stop thinking so negatively.”Jackson said.

Mark rolled his eyes, before suddenly remembering something. “Wait, don’t you have something to do today too?” He asked Jackson.

Jackson sadly nodded. “Yeah, gotta work on my solo music, I’m sorry…”

Mark sighed. “So you’re leaving me and him in the house alone again, as if that worked out great the last time…”

“You’re not alone! Everyone else will be here. Just me and Jaebum got stuff to do.” Jackson said, trying to make it sound not as bad.

“Well… you can’t go anyway! You were up late with me last night, so you’ll fall asleep in the studio.” Mark said, trying to find a good reason for Jackson to stay.

Jackson lightly chuckled. “Sorry, nice try, but I’m okay. I’ll get some coffee on the way.”

Mark groaned. “I never have a schedule to go to… I’m always stuck here moping around in my sadness…”

“Mark, don’t act like you aren’t scheduled for three photo shoots later this week. You’re lucky to have all these days of no work. Besides, you’ll be fine, just do what you normally do and let Jinyoung do what he normally does. Sometimes the thing that people really need most is space, so maybe if you guys just relax a bit, things will get better.” Jackson said.

Mark thought that was the best and worst idea Jackson had come up with yet. He agreed that maybe he should step back a little and try to focus on himself a bit, but at the same time, all he wanted was to be with Jinyoung, which made the whole situation more difficult.

“I guess I’ll just try that…” Mark mumbled, looking around before suddenly having a question for Jackson. “Jackson…”

“Hmm?” He hummed in response to his name.

“... have you… ever been in a situation like this before?” Mark asked. The thought suddenly came to him that maybe Jackson had been through something similar to his and Jinyoung's situation. The younger seems experienced and always has some sort of solution to each problem Mark is faced with.

Jackson slowly nodded, looking away from Mark. “Yeah… sort of similar.”

Mark wasn’t surprised by that, as it seems like Jackson has experienced everything at least once in his life. “Was it… with a guy?”

Jackson hesitated before again nodding his head. “Yeah…”

Mark was a bit caught off guard, as he didn’t know that Jackson was also into guys, but when he thought about it more, it made sense.

“So it was like, someone you know personally? Like, how me and Jinyoung were close, you and him were close too?” Mark asked.

Jackson shifted a bit uncomfortably where he sat on Mark's bed. “Um, yeah. Yeah, we were very close… I mean, I’m sorta still close with him now.”

Mark’s eyes widened in surprise. “Still? But… it sounds like it didn’t work out between you two…”

Jackson shook his head. “Well, I’m single, which means no, it didn’t. But it’s okay, he’s found someone that makes him happy, and that’s all I can really ask for.”

Mark looked down at his feet, imagining if Jinyoung had found someone else that made him happy. “I’m not sure if I’d be able to handle that…” he trailed off.

“Handle what?” Jackson asked.

“Handle seeing Jinyoung with someone else. It just… doesn’t feel good.” Mark confessed. “How are you okay with seeing someone you like with someone else?”

Jackson shook his head. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m ‘ _okay’_ with it, but I’ll get over it. I just want to see the people in my life live happily, and if the guy I like is happier with someone else, then so be it.” Jackson stated with a shrug.

Mark looked at him in awe, wondering how Jackson could have such a kind and open heart. Mark knows that as soon as he sees Jinyoung with someone else, he would freak out and probably do something stupid. Yet Jackson is able to hide his own feelings and support someone else’s relationship that he wished he had with them.

“You’re amazing…” Mark said, still shocked by Jackson’s selflessness.

Jackson smiled and did a little pose. “I know, I try to be.”

Mark giggled, something that he felt like he hadn’t done in a while. “No, seriously, how are you so level headed? You’re like, one of the craziest out of the seven of us, yet you make the most sense…”

Jackson shrugged. “It’s in my genes I guess?”

Mark laughed and playfully pushed Jackson’s shoulder, the latter laughing along with him. The two were then interrupted by a knock on Mark's door before it opened revealing the maknaes.

“Mark! Come play this with us!” BamBam said while holding up a new game they had bought. “Oh and Jackson too!”

Jackson stood, shaking his head. “Sorry guys, I gotta go soon.”

Yugyeom frowned. “Aw, okay, it’ll be less fun without you, but Mark you can still play, right?”

Mark hesitated, quickly looking at Jackson who was nodding his head at him. Mark remembered that Jackson said to just do what he would normally do and have some space between him and Jinyoung, so playing a game with the maknaes might be a good way to take his mind off of everything.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t have anything to do today.” Mark said.

“Okay, meet us in the living room.” BamBam said, him and Yugyeom running off like little kids.

Jackson walked up to Mark, and pat him on the back. “I’m gonna get ready and head out. Have fun entertaining those two.”

Mark frowned, still not a fan of the idea of his support system leaving him. Jackson of course, noticed the look and gave a warm smile.

“The more you worry about it, the more of a problem it becomes. You just need to relax, go have fun, okay?” Jackson asked.

Mark nodded, feeling Jackson pat him on the shoulder before leaving. He took a deep breath and tried not to worry too much about it like Jackson said. He left his room and headed to the living room where Yugyeom and BamBam had been setting up the game.

“You guys ready to lose?” Mark asked as soon as he walked in.

BamBam, who had his back towards Mark, turned to face him. “Yeah right, you _always_ lose, Mark.”

“As if you’re any better...” Yugyeom mumbled, getting a glare from BamBam.

“Enough trash talk, let's see who _actually_ wins.” Mark says, taking a seat on the couch and grabbing a controller for himself.

The other two joined him and they started playing, the game actually ending up taking Jinyoung temporarily off of Mark's mind. It felt good to just be able to relax and enjoy something he likes to do with Yugyeom and BamBam without the constant reminder of Jinyoung's rejection playing in his mind. Of course the thought of it did reappear occasionally, but for the most part, Mark was free of worry. He also won the game a few times, which put him in an even better mood.

“I told you guys that you would lose.” Mark said, after winning another game.

“Whatever, I won a few times too.” BamBam retorted.

“And somehow I lost the most…” Yugyeom said, sadly.

“That’s because you suck.” BamBam said, sticking his tongue out and running away as the youngest immediately stood and chased him.

Mark laughed as he watched them run off, deciding that he would put away the game since they were done playing. As he was putting everything away, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to check it.

_Jackson: how’s everything going?_

Mark smiled at seeing the the text, happy that he had a friend to check up on him when he’s going through tough times. He was really grateful to Jackson, and he didn’t want all the time and care he spent on helping Mark and making sure he was okay to go to waste.

_Mark: everything is fine so far. We played the game for hours and just got finished._

_Jackson: good!! I was taking a break and wanted to check up on you. I hope ur feeling okay…_

_Mark: playing with those two kept me occupied, they’re just a bundle of energy lol_

_Jackson: I’m glad! So… have u seen Jinyoung yet?_

Mark thought about it and realized that he hadn’t seen or really thought about Jinyoung since earlier that morning.

_Mark: No. maybe he’s hiding in his room again._

_Jackson: where are u right now?_

_Mark: still in the living room._

_Jackson: Oh, Okay! Just making sure ur still alright! Gotta get back to work now :(_

_Mark: lol okay, see u later._

Mark put his phone down on the coffee table, still smiling about the short conversation he had with Jackson. Mark knows he needs to repay Jackson somehow for his help and care, it just felt like the right thing to do.

Mark continued cleaning up the last of the mess they made of snacks they had while playing, and he was startled by the sound of the front door opening. He got scared for a minute, wondering who it could possibly be when no one had left the house, and Jackson and Jaebum were scheduled to come back much later. He quickly turned to see who it was, and was relieved but surprised to see Jinyoung and Youngjae walk through the door. They were in the middle of talking about something until Youngjae saw Mark and he immediately stopped talking. Jinyoung followed Youngjae’s gaze and Mark could see the slight surprise on Jinyoung's face, before it quickly returned to normal.

“Oh, hey Mark.” Youngjae said as he walked in and took off his shoes. The two were holding bags, meaning that they were out shopping.

“Hi…” Mark said, just staring at them as they walked by.

“We just came back from the store to refill the fridge.” Youngjae started.

“Oh, you scared me, I thought you were in your rooms.” Mark said, placing a hand on his chest.

“Oh, did we scare you? Sorry about that.” Jinyoung said chuckling.

Mark still felt very weird about Jinyoung acting so normal around him. It bothered him a lot, and it made him feel more uncomfortable being around Jinyoung. The two who just walked in headed to the kitchen, and Mark could hear them putting food away. He tried to focus on his own task of cleaning up the rest of his and the maknaes mess, quickly picking up the last of the garbage and throwing it out.

He didn’t really know what to do now, trying to decide if he should stay there in the living room or go back to his room. He sort of wanted to avoid Jinyoung, just because the younger was acting so strange, but he was a bit too late on that decision, as Jinyoung was just coming out of the kitchen and joining him in the living room.

“What were you doing?” He asked, sitting on the couch just as Mark was about to leave.

“Um, I was playing a game with Bam and Gyeom…” Mark said, unable to look Jinyoung in the eye as he spoke.

“Oh? Was it fun?” He asked.

“Yeah… It was fun…” Mark mumbled, wanting so badly to leave this awkward conversation.

Jinyoung nodded. “I’m glad you kept them occupied, they’ll do the dumbest things when their bored.” He said chuckling.

Mark shifted awkwardly where he stood. “Yep…”

“Is Jackson home?” Jinyoung suddenly asked.

“Uh, no… he’s working right now…”  Mark answered, slowly trying to leave as he felt more uncomfortable talking to this perky Jinyoung.

“Oh, I just needed to ask him something, but it can wait I guess.” Jinyoung said, then he suddenly perked up as if he just remembered something. “Oh, by the way, I bought you your favorite chips, I put them on the table if you want some.”

Mark frowned, shaking his head. He couldn’t understand why Jinyoung was being like this. It felt so fake and unnatural. “Why?” Mark asked.

“Why? Why I bought them? Because I knew you liked them, so- “ Jinyoung's sentence got cut off by Mark.

“No, why are you being like this?” Mark asked, turning to completely face Jinyoung.

Jinyoung blinked a few times, caught off guard by the question. ”B-Being like what?”

“Why are you being so… so nice?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung chuckled nervously. “Am I _not_ supposed to be nice?”

“No, not after you rejected my feelings for you last night and tell me that I’m the wrong person to fall in love with…” Mark said, the feelings he had from the night before returning.

“Mark… um, can we not mention that right now?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark shook his head. “No, we are going to talk about this now. How can you just tell me you don’t want to be with me and then act all sweet the next day? Like you didn’t just break my heart? Like nothing happened?”

“Mark, I really don’t think it’s a good time for this right no- “

“Why? Why not? Why can’t we talk about this now? You’re just avoiding a conversation that needs to be had Jinyoung!” Mark said, slowly getting worked up.

“M-Mark, just calm down…” Jinyoung said, trying to relax the elder.

“How the hell am I supposed to be calm when you’re acting like this? You just make me more confused and I’m tired of trying to figure this all out! I can’t Jinyoung, I just can’t!” Mark said, unable to hold in his frustrations.

“Okay, okay I get it, just please relax…” Jinyoung said when he noticed Mark’s eyes starting to water.

“Tell me why, Nyoungie… tell me exactly why you can’t accept me or my feelings…” Mark said as those first few tears rolled down his face.

“Mark, don’t cry, I told you why already, didn’t I?” Jinyoung asked, standing up from the couch and stepping closer to him.

“But… what makes you so unsure of yourself? You don’t believe in what I said?” Mark asked through his crying.

“No, it’s not that I don’t believe you… I just… I told you, I’m just not sure anymore, I’m sorry if I hurt you…” Jinyoung said, looking down at the floor.

Mark shook his head. “I was already hurt, but I felt like I deserved it since I treated you so wrongly. But... this is too much… you couldn’t even forgive me when I apologized… was it really that bad?”

Jinyoung hesitated before nodding his head. “It hurt me a lot… which is why I couldn’t forgive you so easily… but then you suddenly came to me and took back everything you said and returned my feelings… it just didn’t make sense how fast you changed your mind.”

“It didn’t make sense to me either! I’m still dealing with the fact that I’ve fallen for you. Every time I think about you, I wonder how I became so blind to my feelings and why I hid them from you for so long. All I can think of is how stupid it was to constantly say I didn’t return your feelings when I obviously did. We could’ve been happy together a long time ago if it weren’t for me… but now you don’t even like me anymore…” Mark started crying harder, and Jinyoung seemed to be having a hard time watching him break down like that.

“Mark stop crying… you’re making me feel bad…” Jinyoung said, reaching out and patting Mark on the shoulder.

“Just tell me why… why you decided that we wouldn’t be good together anymore. Why did you suddenly change your mind? Jackson said it’s impossible to just get rid of someone’s feelings like that…” Mark said.

Jinyoung seemed surprise to hear that Mark had been talking with Jackson about their situation, but he didn't dwell on it too long.

“I… just…” Jinyoung trailed off.

Mark looked at him, desperate for an answer. “What? What were you going to say?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth as if he were going to continue, but closed it soon after and shook his head.

Mark let out a shaky breath, his eyes watering up more as tears clouded his vision. “Now you're the one that can't answer, huh?”

He shook his head, quickly turning around and walking away, unable to stand there facing Jinyoung any longer, his emotions taking control of him as he hurried out the room.

“Wait, Mark stop.” Jinyoung said, swiftly reaching out to grab his wrist.

“No! Let go of me! I'm tired of this now! Let me go Jinyoung…” Mark said, trying to pull his wrist away from the younger who seemed to have an iron grip on him.

“Don't go, please don't run away like I did. I'll talk, okay? I just… I can't watch you leave me like that…” Jinyoung said, desperately tugging on Mark's arm.

Mark wondered briefly if he should stay or just go. Hearing Jinyoung telling him not to run away like he did made Mark remember the time this exact situation happened, except Jinyoung was the one walking away, and Mark was the one that suffered the feeling of losing him. Now that the roles are reversed, Mark didn't want to put Jinyoung through the pain he felt at that time, adding onto the pain the younger already felt. He turned back around and Jinyoung pulled him to the couch, both of them sitting down and facing each other.

“Okay… thank you…” Jinyoung said, a breath of relief leaving him.

“Answer my question.” Mark demanded, surprising Jinyoung with his stern tone. “With the truth.”

“The truth?” Jinyoung repeated as if he'd never heard of it before. “The truth… the truth is that… I rejected you because… I was… afraid…” he finally got out.

“Afraid of what?" Mark asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“I was… afraid of getting hurt again…” Jinyoung confessed.

Mark was surprised, even though he shouldn't be. It's understandable to be afraid of going through that same pain over and over again, yet he didn’t think about the fact that _he_ was the one that cause Jinyoung's pain.

“By me? Were you afraid that _I'd_ hurt you again?” Mark asked, already knowing the answer, but still wanting Jinyoung to admit it himself.

Jinyoung hesitated before nodding, unable to keep his eyes on Mark. “I… lied about my feelings last night. I told you that I wasn't sure, but the truth is that I never doubted my feelings for you. I always liked you, and I never stopped. I just wasn't sure if _you_ were being completely honest with me…”

Mark was again caught by surprise. “ _Me_ ? You weren't sure if _I_ was being honest?”

Mark was upset that Jinyoung had basically just called him a liar, but Jinyoung quickly moved to defend his statement.

“Its because you changed your mind so suddenly. Just the day before, you swore to me that you'd never have anything to do with a guy romantically, then suddenly you like me? Don't you see how weird that is? I didn't know if your feelings were genuine, or if you were just saying that because you felt bad…” Jinyoung explained.

Mark thought about it, and he realized that Jinyoung's argument made sense. It was just like how Mark thought Jinyoung suddenly acting like everything was fine between them was suspicious. It didn't feel right, so he understood why Jinyoung doubted him.

“No Jinyoung, the reason why I changed my mind so fast was because I already knew I liked you. Even when I would tell you I'd never have those type of feelings for you, my heart still skipped a beat whenever you came near me, and I still got a warm feeling throughout my body when you crossed my mind… I just never wanted to own up to it...” Mark said, gazing at Jinyoung who, even in a stressful state, looked as beautiful as ever.

Jinyoung was quiet for a bit, chewing on his bottom lip as he took in everything Mark said. Mark waited patiently for his response, knowing that Jinyoung has the habit of thinking carefully about what he wants to say next.

“I’m still worried that you might still think being into guys is weird… it’s usually hard to change someone’s mind about those type of things…” Jinyoung confessed.

Mark shook his head. “I don’t care about that anymore. Jackson and Jaebum worked hard to make me realize my feelings for you, and I’m not going back to that closed minded way of thinking. I like you, Jinyoung. I _know_ that I do. I'm never gonna deny that _ever_ again.”

Jinyoung looked down, his eyebrows furrowed. “But… how do I know that’s true? How do I know that you mean it? I… I really do like you too, and I want to be with you, but how do I know that this isn’t just a phase? I don’t want to make it worse by being with someone who's still confused. You might revert back to thinking that it’s weird. How do I know for sure that you won’t change your- “

Jinyoung's unsure questioning was cut off by Mark's hands suddenly cupping his cheeks. Mark lifted the younger’s head to make Jinyoung look at him as he leaned in closer. Jinyoung's eyes widened as Mark's face quickly came closer to his, and Mark could feel Jinyoung's breath fan against his lips as he gently pressed his against Jinyoung’s. He did it slowly, not wanting to startle Jinyoung and scare him off, and Mark could feel himself melting into the sweet taste of Jinyoung's lips. Jinyoung didn’t push the elder away, probably because he was so caught off guard by the kiss, but Mark could feel him sigh against his lips, as if he’d wanted this just as much as Mark had. Jinyoung licked his lips when Mark pulled away, making the elder blush a bit at his sudden actions.

“The first time I kissed you, I didn't want to believe it, but now, I can barely look at you without thinking about your lips against mine. Hopefully _that_ was enough to convince you that I sincerely meant what I said. I’m crazy about you, and I need you in my life… as more than just a friend. And if you still doubt my feelings, then maybe by giving me a chance with you, I can prove you wrong.” Mark stated, looking at Jinyoung for a response.

Jinyoung had looked away, his hand on his chest as he regained himself after the surprise kiss, and Mark could see that he was trying to hide the smile on his flustered face, failing pretty bad at it.

“Um… maybe if you…do that again… I can think about forgiving you and reconsidering my decision of us not being together…” he said in response.

Mark had to think about what Jinyoung was suggesting for a few seconds before catching on, and he started to smile a little too.

“Oh… I see… I guess I haven’t fully convinced you yet, hmm?” Mark asked as he leaned in again and gently placed another kiss on Jinyoung's lips.

This time Jinyoung's hands came up to wrap around Mark's neck, and he pressed back against his lips almost desperately, like he’s been waiting for it for so long.

Mark pulled away again, looking at Jinyoung who still had his arms wrapped around him. “Was _that_ enough?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I think one more time… and possibly another after that…”

Mark laughed and shook his head. “Your mind must be hard to change.”

Jinyoung was the one to lean in this time, pulling Mark closer to him. "Yes, very hard to change.” He said against Mark's lips, kissing him once again.

Mark felt like a piece of heaven was in his hands, like an actual angel from above came down to Earth and blessed him with this beautiful person in front of him. He felt like he could almost cry from how happy he was, and he actually did, but instead of wiping his own tears, Jinyoung was the one to wipe them away as he kissed Mark deeply.

“Stop crying, I hate it when you cry…” Jinyoung mumbled against his lips as he swiped his thumb over Mark's wet cheek.

The elder could feel his heart pumping a thousand beats per minute and his stomach felt like butterflies and rainbows as warmth spread throughout his whole body. He didn’t want to let Jinyoung go, and even when the younger pulled away from the kiss, he didn’t. He hugged Jinyoung so tight, as if just a slight gust of wind could take the younger away from him, and he felt Jinyoung return the embrace, both of them been longing for moments like this together again.

“I missed you so much… even though you were just across the hall, I felt so distant…” Mark said, still crying, but from happiness this time.

“I missed you too… I thought that if I just pretended that everything was fine between us, that we’d be able to go back to how we used to be… but I don’t want that anymore, I want this, what we have right now, this is all I ever wanted…” Jinyoung said while running his fingers through Marks hair.

“You mean the world to me, and I’m so sorry for everything… I’m just an idiot, you know?” Mark confessed.

Jinyoung nodded. “Yeah, but now, your _my_ idiot.” He said, leaning in again to place another brief kiss on Mark's lips.

“So I’m assuming that this means you’re giving me another chance, right?” Mark asked.

”I thought that was pretty obvious…” Jinyoung responded.

“I just wanted to make sure. I don’t want to lose you again.” Mark said, burying his face into Jinyoung's chest.

“Right, but the thing is, you never really lost me. I was always here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.” Jinyoung assured.

Mark couldn’t explain in words how he felt. It was impossible to. Over the past week or so, Mark had lost almost all hope for himself with Jinyoung, yet somehow, he’s here with the person he fell for in his arms. He didn’t know if it was luck or a miracle, or just a good turn of events, but no matter how it happened, Mark wouldn’t have rathered it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this isn't the last chapter, there's gonna be another one just showing off their cute relationship lol sorry I'm a sucker for fluff. But technically this is pretty much the end of their story.
> 
> "But wait! The smut! Where's the smut that you promised??"
> 
> Well my friends, I need your opinions on how I should write the smut into the story.
> 
> I was wondering if I should show their relationship developing until they're both ready for sexy time ;) (which may result in more chapters!!)
> 
> or 
> 
> if I should just fast forward to like, a few weeks or a few months into their relationship and directly give you guys the good smut.
> 
> What do you guys think?? I'll write whatevers most suggested. (Unless you have your own ideas, I'll consider them too!!)


	10. 10

Mark leaned up shamelessly for another kiss from Jinyoung, the two nearly addicted to each other’s lips as they sat snuggled up together on the couch after finally confirming their feelings for each other. The front door suddenly opened, and Mark quickly pulled away, startled by the unexpected interruption, and Jinyoung quickly turned his head to see who it was.

Jackson stood there with his jaw almost on the floor, staring at the two in shock. “No way… don’t tell me that you two are…”

He trailed off his sentence, watching the two smile and blush at being caught together.

“Finally!” He exclaimed, nearly running over to the couch. He then frowned, looking between them. “So, you guys decide to kiss and make up, quite literally, while I was away? Come on, you couldn’t have at least waited til I got back?”

Mark laughed. “I’m sorry Jackson, I didn’t think about it at the time.”

Jackson shrugged. “Either way, I’m glad you guys figured it out. You two are meant for each other, I can feel it.”

Mark grinned, hugging his new lover closer as Jinyoung giggled and cuddled up against him. It felt like how they used to be, but much better. Jackson could tell that he was interrupting their moment, so he excused himself from the room.

“I can tell that you guys are gonna be here a while, so I’m gonna go eat something.” Jackson said. He took one last look at the two and smiled before heading into the kitchen.

Jackson was right, they were there on the couch for a long time, just breathing in each other’s scents and enjoying one another’s presence, laughing and joking and talking about things that they hadn’t expressed to anyone for days since both of them hadn't been talking to each other. They were there for a while, and it had got much later, and Jinyoung started to nod off on Mark's shoulder, so Mark helped him to his bed. As Mark walked Jinyoung to his room, the latter pulled back, making a noise of disapproval.

“What?” Mark asked, wondering why Jinyoung was pulling away.

“Your room, not mine.” Jinyoung mumbled.

Mark laughed. “You don’t want to sleep in your own room?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s still cold in my room, your bed is warmer.”

Mark chuckled. “You know, you can just admit that you want to sleep with me.”

“Fine, I’ve been sleeping in my own bed for too long and I wanna sleep with you.” Jinyoung said, pulling Mark towards his room.

Mark followed him to his own room, closing the door behind them as he watched the younger curl up in his bed.

“Wait, shouldn’t you change out of your clothes?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung groaned, not wanting to get up again, but he ended up rolling out of the bed and standing up.

“Can I wear yours?” He asked.

“M-My clothes? Why?” Mark asked.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Obviously because I like the way you smell and I want to wear your clothes.”

Mark could tell that Jinyoung was a cranky person when sleepy, but he chuckled at his snippy tone. “I would say yes, but I don’t think you can fit my clothes…”

“You have a ton of huge sweaters! I'm gonna steal one, okay?”Jinyoung stated while searching through Marks closet for an old sweater.

Mark shook his head, laughing at Jinyoung's persistence. “I mean, you just confessed a crime to me, but I guess you can steal one if you’d like.”

Jinyoung found one that he liked, and grabbed a pair of his shorts, leaving the room briefly to change, and Mark knew that he shouldn’t have thoughts like this already, but he imagined a point they’d reach in their relationship where Jinyoung wouldn’t feel the need to leave the room to change his clothes, and Mark could just see his bare body right in front of him. He quickly got rid of the thought when Jinyoung came back, but seeing the younger dressed in his clothes put other thoughts in his head.

Mark had changed in his room while Jinyoung was gone and was already in his bed, Jinyoung joining him on the other side. He wiggled his body under the covers closer to Mark, who instead of moving away this time, wrapped his arms around Jinyoung and snuggled him closer. Mark felt Jinyoung do the same, and he relished in the warmth of Jinyoung's body, falling asleep easily in his arms.

———————————————————

Mark's eyes fluttered open, sleep clearing from them, exposing them to the bright light of the morning. Mark could feel soft touches of something on his face, and once his vision cleared, he could make out Jinyoung leaving light kisses all over his face. He smiled and stretched, Jinyoung pulling away when he noticed Mark had woken up.

“You sure like kisses, huh?” Mark commented as he stretched his body.

“I wanted to wake you up in a cute way.” Jinyoung responded.

“Very cute.” Mark said, giving Jinyoung a kiss on the cheek in return.

Jinyoung couldn’t hide his smile, which he tried to do, making himself look even cuter as he placed his hand over his mouth. Mark could see his face turning red, and he didn’t know why Jinyoung suddenly became so embarrassed.

“I’m hungry.” He said from behind his hand, rolling out of bed and quickly walking out the room.

Mark watched him confusedly, not too long after following him into the kitchen. He saw Jinyoung at the counter pouring himself some cereal, and Mark immediately remembered something Jinyoung did before that he wanted to imitate. He creeped up behind the younger and leaned on him, Jinyoung jolting in surprise as he felt Marks body pressing against his own.

“I’m hungry, get me some too…” Mark mumbled, just like Jinyoung had to him a few days ago.

Mark could feel Jinyoung chuckle a bit, obviously remembering where Mark had got it from. “You scared me…” Jinyoung said, now imitating Mark.

Mark chuckled as well, watching Jinyoung make him a bowl of cereal too. He grabbed the bowl in one hand and Jinyoung's hand in the other and pulled him to the table to sit and eat together. Jinyoung was blushing again, and Mark enjoyed seeing him so embarrassed over little things.

“You’ve become clingy…” Jinyoung said, sitting down at the table with Mark.

Mark shrugged. “Well, if we’re… you know… dating, then of course I’m gonna be clingy.”

“Dating?” Jinyoung repeated, as if unsure of the use of the word.

Mark worried slightly at his unsure tone. “A-Are we? I mean, we don’t have to be… but… “ Mark trailed off, not really knowing what he was gonna say next.

Jinyoung shook his head. “No, it's not that I don’t think we’re dating… I mean… the word just sounds funny I guess…”

“Is that what you want though? Do you want to be like, a couple?” Mark asked. He wasn’t sure if the question had an obvious answer or not, but him and Jinyoung hadn’t discussed exactly what their relationship status was the night before, as they were too busy kissing and cuddling.

“Of course I want to date you and be a couple. I just… haven’t used that word in so long, it feels weird to finally say it again, and even weirder that I’m saying it with you in mind.”

“Wait, so you’re saying dating me is weird?” Mark asked, not sure if he should be offended or not.

“No, no! That’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s just been awhile, you know?” Jinyoung said.

Mark chuckled. “Yeah, I get what your saying.”

“What about you?” Jinyoung asked.

“Me?” Mark asked pointing at himself.

“Yeah, do you want to be a couple?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark immediately nodded. “Yeah, I thought that was pretty obvious…”

Jinyoung shrugged. “I thought my answer would be obvious too…” he said, playfully nudging Mark's leg under the table.

Mark giggled, looking up at Jinyoung and seeing some milk on the corner of his lips. Mark immediately set his eyes on the area as he leaned in.

“Don’t move…” he told Jinyoung, who sat still with a look of confusion.

Mark reached over the table and wiped the corner of Jinyoung's mouth with his thumb, the latter realizing what he was doing and another blush blooming over his skin. Mark should have pulled away his hand, but he didn’t, still cupping the side of Jinyoung's face and admiring the picture perfect human being that sat in front of him. He gazed at Jinyoung's face, his eyes scanning over his soft porcelain skin, his rosy cheeks, his pink plump lips that seem to be getting closer the longer Mark stared. He was captivated by the sudden look of want in Jinyoung's eyes, immediately catching on to it and pulling the younger closer. Just before their lips could connect though, they heard someone clear their throat from the kitchen entrance.

The pair was startled, both turning their heads to look at where the noise came from. Jaebum stood there with smirk, his eyes switching between the two as walked further into the kitchen.

“I see that you two have become _quite_ friendly again…” he said, heading over to the refrigerator.

“Oh, yeah, we made up yesterday.” Jinyoung said, looking at Mark and smiling.

“I know, Jackson wouldn’t stop talking to me about it. Oh, and Mark, now that I think about it, I remember you complaining to me and Youngjae about our displays of affection, but here you are all over Jinyoung right in the kitchen which, according to you, is supposed to be for eating, not making out.” Jaebum said, smiling mischievously the whole time.

Mark's face turned a bright pink as Jaebum called him out for what he said. “I… um, that was before…”

“Before you found someone you can’t keep your hands off of?” Jaebum asked, finishing off Mark's sentence.

Mark looked away, not wanting to admit that Jaebum was right, yet knowing that he definitely was right. “S-Sorry…” He said awkwardly.

Jinyoung chuckled at Mark's embarrassed expression, and Jaebum did as well.

“It’s okay, I know how it feels.” Jaebum said as he got himself something to eat.

“He’s become attached to me, he basically hasn’t let me go since yesterday.” Jinyoung said, exposing Mark's clinginess and making him blush harder.

Jaebum laughed, recalling back to his first few days of being with Youngjae. “Yeah, that was me with Youngjae, I never let that boy out of my sight.”

“Didn’t he get annoyed by it?” Jinyoung asked, and Mark quickly turned around to look at him.

“Are you saying I’m annoying?” Mark asked.

“No, I love that you’re so attached to me, but I was just wondering if it eventually gets annoying.” Jinyoung explained, looking to Jaebum for an answer.

Jaebum shrugged. “Honestly you’d have to as him that. But from my knowledge, he actually enjoyed me being there all the time. He never pushed me away or told me to give him space, so I stayed by his side basically 24/7.”

“I wouldn’t mind that too much either…” Jinyoung said, his eyes trailing to Mark's who stared back at him with a smile.

Jaebum rolled his eyes. “Ugh, stop making googly eyes at each other. I know how you feel now Mark, I’d rather not see you two flirt every two seconds.”

“We weren’t flirting…” Mark said, again a bit embarrassed.

“Well, whatever, I’ll leave you two alone because I can tell I’m third wheeling here.” Jaebum said, taking his breakfast back to his room.

Mark watched him leave, then turned back to Jinyoung who was staring at him and biting his lip with a smirk. Mark furrowed his brows, not sure what the Look meant.

“What?” He asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Nothing.”

“What? Tell me.” Mark said with a grin.

Jinyoung again shook his head and chuckled. “No, nothing. I was just looking at you, that’s all.”

“You sure?” Mark asked, leaning in.

Jinyoung nodded. “I’m sure. You’re just glowing today, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of you.”

Mark was caught off guard by the complement, furiously blushing as his heart beat against his chest.

“D-Don’t just randomly say things like that…” he mumbled, covering his face with his hands.

“You should get used to it, I like saying things like that.” Jinyoung said.

Mark rolled his eyes playfully and stood up, cleaning up his mess since he finished eating. “I’m going to shower.” He stated.

Jinyoung pouted in response. “Don’t leave me. We can shower together.”

Mark's eyes widened at the suggestion, his mind immediately thinking things that it probably shouldn’t. “W-What?”

Jinyoung chuckled, Mark's shocked face amusing him. “I’m just kidding. You should’ve seen your face though.”

Mark narrowed his eyes at the younger and gave him an angry glare, but he couldn’t hold it for long and ended up laughing with him. He walked out of the kitchen and headed to the bathroom, quickly hopping in the shower as usual. He had the thought of Jinyoung on his mind the whole time, still feeling as if he were living in a dream where him and Jinyoung are actually together. It was reality though, and he could only smile at the thought of being together with his close friend.

He walked out of the bathroom with his towel around his waist to his own room, opening the door to Jinyoung already in there. The younger turned and saw Mark, quickly walking over to him and wrapping his arms around him.

“Jinyoung, I just got out the shower, you’re gonna get my sweater wet…” Mark said.

“You smell good…” Jinyoung mumbled.

“It's just soap…” Mark said while chuckling.

“Still…” Jinyoung squeezed Mark tighter, pressing the elder's half covered body against his own.

“Jinyoung, I can barely breath.” Mark said in a joking tone, but he really meant it.

“But I don't wanna let you go.” Jinyoung whined, his fingers tracing Mark's spine and back muscles.

“Stop, that tickles.” Mark giggled as he squirmed around in Jinyoung's embrace.

“Your laugh is cute though.” Jinyoung said, tickling Mark more.

Mark squirmed and fidgeted in Jinyoung's arms as he laughed, trying to get away from the ticklish feeling, but the younger didn't let him go.

“Stop… Stop, Jinyoung, my towels gonna fall…” Mark said in between gasps of breaths as he held on desperately to the only thing covering his body.

“Maybe I _want_ your towel to fall…” Jinyoung whispered, his tone catching Mark off guard.

Mark's eyes widened and he looked at Jinyoung, his face turning red as the younger stared back at him. Jinyoung bit his bottom lip before laughing, Mark still staring at him in shock.

“It's so easy to get you flustered, I just have to say suggestive things like that and your face immediately turns into a tomato.” Jinyoung teased, releasing Mark from his grasp.

Mark let out a breath of relief, still feeling his cheeks warm from how flustered he was. “Y-You can't expect me to just react normally to comments like that…”

Jinyoung chuckled and headed to the door. “I'm gonna go shower now so you don't feel embarrassed in front of me while you get dressed.”

“I'm not embarrassed…” Mark mumbled.

“Oh, so you don't mind me seeing you stark naked? Because I'll gladly stay if that's the case.” Jinyoung said, looking down at Mark's body then back up to his face.

Mark felt himself blushing again, hating how he always gives a reaction to Jinyoung's dirty words. “A-Actually nevermind…” Mark stuttered.

Jinyoung laughed again and left, leaving Mark standing there chuckling at himself. He and Jinyoung aren't exactly at that state in their newly formed relationship to see each other in all their glory, not that they haven't seen it before anyway, but neither of them minded at all since the only thing they liked to do is kiss and cuddle.

Mark got dressed and sat on his bed, waiting for Jinyoung to return. He realized that he hasn't been really thinking about anything else besides the younger which somewhat surprised him. He thought that if they were a couple, Mark would finally be able to rest his mind on Jinyoung, and he'd be able to focus on other things. Yet, the two are now a couple, and Mark still can't focus on anything else besides Jinyoung, Jinyoung, and more Jinyoung. As if he willed the younger to come back with his thoughts, Jinyoung returned not too long after, smelling like the shampoo Mark always smelt in his hair.

“Miss me?” Jinyoung asked with a grin.

Mark shook his head. “Not really. I was thinking of you the whole time though.”

Jinyoung frowned. “Well then that means you missed me, right?”

“No, it means you're on my mind too much.” Mark responded.

Jinyoung huffed, crossing his arms. “Just say you missed me.”

Mark chuckled. “Fine, I missed you. For the like, 20 or so minutes you were gone.”

“A lot?” Jinyoung asked, ignoring Mark's sarcasm while sitting on the bed next to him.

“Now you're pushing it. You were just down the hall.” Mark said.

“But anything could have happen to me while I was in the bathroom! You're telling me you wouldn't have cared if your boyfriend slipped and fell on a bar of soap or something?” Jinyoung asked dramatically.

Mark did pick up on Jinyoung's playfully dramatic tone, but he got stuck on a certain word. “Boyfriend…” he repeated.

Jinyoung stared at the elder, hearing his uneasiness about the word. “Is there a problem?” he asked.

Mark hesitated, then shrugged. “I don’t know…”

“What do you mean you don't know? What's wrong with the word boyfriend?” Jinyoung asked, his brows furrowing.

Mark shook his head. “No, nothing is wrong with it. It's just… just, isn't it a bit too soon for that?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I don't know what you mean. You insisted on saying that we were dating earlier, but now you're hung up on the word boyfriend. Am I not your boyfriend?”

Mark didn't exactly know what their relationship was. He didn't mind saying that they were dating,  but boyfriends? Did Mark have a boyfriend?

“I… I'm not sure what we are. I know that we're together, but… I feel that maybe saying you're my boyfriend is too soon…” Mark said, hoping that he worded his sentence in a way that didn't upset Jinyoung.

Instead, Jinyoung was quiet for a bit, and Mark could tell that he was thinking. He allowed the younger time to figure out what he was going to say, hoping that he didn't disappoint the other.

After a few minutes, Jinyoung finally spoke. “I just… I don't see the difference honestly…”

“Difference between what?” Mark asked.

“Between just dating and being boyfriends. I like you enough to call you my boyfriend, I just don't see how it's ‘too soon’. Are you embarrassed of me or something?” Jinyoung asked, a bit of sharpness in his tone.

Mark realized that what he said may have hurt Jinyoung a bit, and he suddenly felt bad. “No! No, I'm not embarrassed of you at all. I just… you know this is all new to me… I'm just a bit hesitant…”

Jinyoung's face softened and Mark could see understanding settle into him. “Oh… I can understand that then…”

Mark let out a sigh of relief, glad that Jinyoung could see his perspective of their relationship. “Yeah, thanks…”

Jinyoung nodded, thinking for a little bit again before speaking. “So then… if you don't feel ready to call me your boyfriend yet, we can just leave it at dating until you are.”

Mark nodded as well. “Thank you… I just… I didn't realize how important labels were to you…”

Jinyoung shook his head. “No, labels don't mean much to me. You just made me a bit nervous when you said it was too soon to call me your boyfriend. I understand if you need to get used to it for a bit, but I just thought that maybe you were too embarrassed of me to call me that.”

Mark rested his hand on Jinyoung's shoulder. “No, I'll never be embarrassed of you. I mean, it might be a bit awkward if we go out on a date or something, just because no one has seen me with a guy before, but I'll try my hardest to make our relationship as comfortable as possible.”

Jinyoung grinned, bringing his hand up to his mouth in habit. “I'll try and make you as comfortable as possible too. It's not that hard though, it's like any other relationship. Just treat me like you've treated your past girlfriends.”

“No, I'll treat you better than them. I mean, we broke up for a reason, and I don't plan on breaking up with you. Never.” Mark said, watching as Jinyoung's face turned red.

“Stop making me blush!” Jinyoung said, pushing Mark away from him.

Mark laughed, laying back on the bed and pulling Jinyoung down with him. Jinyoung laid his head on Mark's chest, giggling along with him as he just listened to the elders breathing. Mark's shirt had risen a bit, exposing the skin just below his belly button, and he felt Jinyoung lightly run his fingers over the area.

“Stop, it tickles. Why do you keep doing that?” Mark asked while giggling.

“I just like touching your skin, I don't mean to tickle you.” Jinyoung replied, pushing Mark's shirt up higher.

Mark tensed as he felt Jinyoung spread his hand over his stomach, slightly moving it over the skin. He couldn't help himself from giggling since he was _very_ ticklish, grabbing Jinyoung's wrist to stop him.

Jinyoung frowned. “Please? Can I just touch your abs? They're so nice…”

“What is with your obsession with my abs?...” Mark asked, a grin on his face.

“I appreciate nice things, and your abs are _very_ nice.” Jinyoung said, swinging a leg over Mark's body and straddling him, pushing his shirt up even more.

“I feel really exposed right now…” Mark said, shuddering as Jinyoung placed both of his hands on his torso, running them everywhere.

“I just like feeling you. You have nice skin.” Jinyoung said, drawing invisible shapes on Mark's skin.

“Jinyoung my stomach is cold…” Mark said, squirming under the younger who refused to remove his hands from Mark's body.

Mark didn't feel uncomfortable with Jinyoung touching him, he just felt a bit self conscious. Even though the younger was constantly complimenting him, he still had thoughts that maybe his body wasn't good enough to look at yet, and he'd have to work out more.

The two were so caught up in that though, that they didn't register the sound of the door opening until they felt the cool air from the hallway. They both turned their heads and Jinyoung froze at the sight of BamBam whose eyes were wide at the sight.

“Oh, hey…” Jinyoung said, still straddling Mark whose face had turned white as snow.

“So, you guys too, huh…” BamBam said, his eyes darting around the room.

“Uh, we didn't exactly get around to telling you yet…” Mark mumbled, looking away.

“I see… well I came to ask a question but- “ BamBam got interrupted by a squeal that came from behind him.

Jackson, who was passing by, got a glimpse of the compromising position the couple were in and realized that BamBam was interrupting them.

“Can't you see their busy?” Jackson asked, tugging on Bambam's arm.

“Wait, you knew about them already?” BamBam asked.

Jackson nodded in response, quickly glancing at the two as he pulled BamBam out. “I didn't know you two were already at _that_ stage…”

Both of their cheeks turned red as they realized the misunderstanding both Jackson and BamBam probably had. Jinyoung quickly climbed off of Mark, the elder sitting up and straightening out his shirt.

“N-No, it's not what you think, we weren't doing anything… like _that_ …” Mark said, feeling his face grow warmer as embarrassment took over him.

“Its okay, dont be embarrassed about it, it's a part of being in a relationship. Come on Bam, let's leave them alone.” Jackson said, closing the door.

“Sorry for interrupting!” BamBam yelled through the door before it fully clicked closed.

The two stared at the closed door, then each other, before eventually laughing at the whole situation.

“Your face is soo red.” Mark said.

Jinyoung lightly hit Mark's shoulder. “Yours is too!”

“We have to explain to them at some point that they didn't interrupt anything, uh… dirty.” Mark said.

“But… what if I _did_ have dirty intentions?...” Jinyoung asked, looking Mark dead in the eye.

Mark felt himself blushing more than he was before, caught off guard by Jinyoung's suggestive tone. “Uh, well… um…”

Jinyoung smirked, shaking his head as he watched Mark become flustered. “You’re _so_ easy to mess with…”

Mark pushed Jinyoung's shoulder, the latter covering his mouth and laughing. “Stop saying things like that so suddenly!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll stop...” Jinyoung said.

“Thank you…” Mark replied, placing a hand on his quickly beating heart.

“...after I eat you out.”

“Oh my god, stop!” Mark yelled, throwing a pillow at the younger who just laughed.

Mark huffed and turned away from the younger, his cheeks a dark red from being embarrassed and flustered. Jinyoung apologized with a bunch of kisses all over Mark's cheeks, even though the elders heart was still beating quickly from Jinyoung's earlier comments. They both knew that they should wait a bit longer for their relationship to settle in before participating in ‘naughty’ activities, but Jinyoung just had a love for making Mark blush, which the elder actually didn’t mind all that much. None of that stuff really mattered to them. All they focused on was each other then, right in the moment, and from that point on, they’ knew that they’d take on the future together.

———————————————————————

As Jackson pulled BamBam out of the room to leave Mark and Jinyoung alone, the younger gave him a look of disappointment.

“Jackson, don’t tell me that they’re seriously together…” BamBam said.

Jackson shook his head. “Sorry Bam, but I think they’re really serious about each other.”

“No, I should be the one feeling sorry for you… I know that you had feelings for him…” BamBam said, pulling Jackson into an embrace.

“It’s okay Bam… I’m okay… I just want to see him happy, and if he’s happy with Jinyoung, then so be it.” Jackson said, mostly trying to convince himself that he was okay, but his voice quivering didn’t help make a good argument.

“Are you seriously okay with that? You’re not too upset about it?” BamBam asked, looking at Jackson as the elder wiped a tear from his face.

“If I wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t have helped them get together. Sometimes, you have to give up things to get something even better. Mark's happiness is all that I cared about, so if I have to give up my own feelings to see him smile, then that’s what I’ll do.” Jackson stated, pulling himself together.

BamBam frowned, still not liking that answer all that much.

Jackson patted him on the head. “Don’t worry about me Bam. I’ll be fine. There are more fish in the sea, as the saying goes.”

“But… Mark was your fish…” BamBam said.

“Obviously not, he’s Jinyoung's. And I’m fine with that. Better him than some douchebag we don’t even know, right?” Jackson asked.

BamBam shrugged. “I guess.”

Jackson smiled, looking as if he wasn’t just crying moments ago. “How about me and you get some ice cream? I’ll pay.”

BamBam perked up at the sound of ice cream. “Sure, ice cream makes everyone feel better. But I’ll pay, okay?”

Jackson nodded, allowing BamBam to go off and get his wallet. Jackson stood there for a minute, taking it all in. The person that he wanted had fallen for someone else. It’s not anything unusual, it happens to people all the time. It’s just a bit more personal when you know, and work, and live with both people. Jackson was strong though. He recalled when he was talking to Mark and the elder had said that Jackson was amazing for giving up his own feelings to see the person he liked happy with someone else. Little did Mark know though, that Jackson was talking about him. It’s for the best though, if Mark is happy then Jackson is happy. And that’s all that really mattered to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oke this is the last chapter of their story before more fluffy fluff and smutty smut.
> 
> AND I KNOW YALL HATE ME FOR DOING THAT TO JACKSON BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY BEEN SUCH AN ANGEL BUT GAHHH IM SO SORRY ITS JUST BEEN IN MY MIND FOR A WHILE SJDHSKSKFFNFMF
> 
> I'm crying
> 
> Also I've been away for a few days because I was writing the last five chapters of this story lol (idk if im gonna post them all together or one by one but yeah lol) so sorry about that. (Its all mostly smut anyway sjdndjdgif)


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FROM THIS POINT ON ITS SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT GAAAAA
> 
> (Its like a day or week or whatever later that this takes place by the way, not a long time, but yeah.)

“Move!” Mark said, giggling as he nudged Jinyoung away with his elbow.

“No! Give it to me!” Jinyoung said, reaching across Mark's lap to try and grab the T.V. remote.

“No, I’m watching this!” Mark said, holding the remote away from the younger.

“Mark I don’t like scary things…” Jinyoung said, pouting as he still tried to grab the remote.

Mark leaned away, and Jinyoung reached forward to try and grab the remote, but the two ended up falling back onto the couch, and the remote fell to the floor. Jinyoung was on top of Mark, and he looked over to the remote which the batteries had fallen out of and rolled off somewhere.

He clicked his tongue at the sight. “Look what you did…” Jinyoung whined.

“Me? You’re the one who attacked me for the remote.” Mark accused.

“I told you I didn’t want to watch anything scary…” Jinyoung said, puffing his cheeks to show that he was upset.

Mark reached up and squeezed the younger’s cheeks, making air come out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, were you scared?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I wasn’t scared before, I just don’t like scary things. But… I _do_ like looking at you from this angle.”

Mark chuckled covering his face. “Jeez, you’re either dirty or corny, there’s no in between, is there?”

Jinyoung laughed in response. “Does it matter? You love me either way.”

“You’re right.” Mark replied, before stealing a kiss from the younger.

Almost anything the two did together ended with them cuddling or kissing, even if it was fighting over something, they always settle it with a quick peck on the lips. It was the middle of the day, and those two were the only ones home without a schedule, so they decided to have a sort of “date” in the house, picking a movie to watch together. Mark liked watching scary things, even though he isn’t as fearless as their maknae was, he still enjoyed those type of things. Jinyoung on the other hand though, isn’t one who’d opt for seeing a horror film, but rather something more intriguing and adventurous. So when Mark had started playing the horror movie he wanted to watch, Jinyoung immediately opposed.

Mark was the type to easily give in though, which is why just pressing his lips against Jinyoung's always solved everything. He was glad that they were still in that early stage of their relationship where nothing is too much of a problem for them to fix. He wanted to enjoy the easy times they had, since relationships can become very complicated as time goes on. Mark just wanted to focus on the now though. Right now, Jinyoung was looking down at him, biting his lip after pulling away from the kiss.

“Y'know… no one else is here… and it’s just me and you…” Jinyoung said, his fingers running lightly down Mark's chest.

“Yeah, and?” Mark asked, not really sure where Jinyoung was going with the conversation.

“So… we can have fun, you know? Like, _intimate_ fun…” Jinyoung whispered, making Mark shudder.

“S-Stop it, you always have something dirty on your mind.” Mark stuttered, getting himself together.

Jinyoung chuckled. “Like you said, I’m either dirty or corny, no in between.”

Mark rolled his eyes, feeling Jinyoung tug on his shirt for another kiss, unable to say no to the younger who waited patiently for Mark's lips.

“Well, if we're gonna just lay here and makeout, then we don’t need to decide on a movie.” Mark said when their lips parted again.

“Well, making out with you wasn’t part of the plan, I just wanted to watch a movie.” Jinyoung replied.

Mark raised an eyebrow. “Really? You didn’t think once about making out with me? Or at least just kissing me once?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I really just wanted to watch something with you.”

“I find that incredibly hard to believe.” Mark said, not falling for Jinyoung's act.

Jinyoung sat up and frowned. “Why?”

“Because all you want to do with me is make out. There is literally nothing else we do together. It’s kinda sad how boring we are.” Mark said, sitting up as well.

“It’s only because I can’t get into your pants yet…” Jinyoung mumbled.

Mark pushed Jinyoung's shoulder in annoyance. “I’m really getting tired of that. If you wanted to do something dirty with me so bad, you would’ve done it by now...”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, looking over to Mark. “Oh? Are you saying that you want me to do something dirty with you then?”

Mark quickly realized how suggestive what he said was and became a bit flustered with himself. “Ah no, that’s not exactly what I was saying…”

Jinyoung leaned back over towards Mark. “Really? Then what _exactly_ were you saying?”

Mark leaned away a bit, not exactly planning on getting Jinyoung excited like this. “I-I was just saying… that you keep saying dirty things to make me flustered, but you don’t actually mean it. If you, really wanted to do something with me, then I think you would have made a move by now…” Mark explained a bit awkwardly.

Jinyoung hummed, thinking about what Mark said. “But… who says I don’t mean it? Maybe I really do want to make a move, but I’m waiting on you to be ready for it.”

Mark gulped, noticing that Jinyoung had trapped him between his arms on the couch, and realizing how close the younger had gotten.

“Is… is that true?” Mark asked in response to Jinyoung's response.

Jinyoung laughed before placing a kiss on Mark's cheek. “Nah, I’m just messing with you. Honestly, this is so fun.”

Mark sat up, gently pushing Jinyoung away. “You’re so annoying…” he said, his face turning a deep red color.

“Aw, did I make you blush too much? I’m sorry… Do you want me to kiss it better?” Jinyoung said in a baby voice, pouting at the elder.

As nice as a kiss sounded, Mark wanted to make Jinyoung learn his lesson for teasing him so much. “No, no kisses.” Mark declared.

“No kisses?” Jinyoung repeated as a question, smirking because he knows Mark can’t be serious.

“Nope. No kisses for the rest of the day.” Mark stated.

“Yeah, right. Just bring those lips over here already.” Jinyoung said, pulling Mark towards him.

“No, seriously, no more. We need to find something to do with ourselves besides that anyway.” Mark said, standing from the couch.

Jinyoung frowned. “S-Seriously? But Mark, why?”

“I told you to stop messing with me like that. But you didn’t so now your punishment is no kisses.” Mark said, walking off.

“Where are you going?” Jinyoung asked, standing from the couch as well.

“I’m going to work on learning Japanese.” Mark said, wanting to actually do so something productive.

“Kissing is way more interesting than _that_! You’re seriously picking Japanese over my lips?” Jinyoung asked.

“I need to brush up a bit, I’m not as good as you and Jaebum.” Mark stated.

“Well then, can I help?” Jinyoung asked, just wanting to go wherever Mark went.

Mark said no kisses, which is also a sort of punishment for himself as well since he does enjoy kissing Jinyoung, but completely ignoring Jinyoung would be too much for both of their hearts to handle. So Mark, didn't mind allowing everything else except kisses.

“Sure.” He replied, hearing the younger quickly follow behind him to his room.

Mark sat at his desk and pulled out a Japanese learning book that he bought to study at home from. He barely used it, but he thought that maybe he should at least try to do something that would help him in his career. He opened the book and turned it to a random page, starting with the first word on the page. Jinyoung hovered over him, standing behind the elder as he watched him practice the words.

“How about for every word you learn, you get a kiss?” Jinyoung proposed.

Mark shook his head, knowing what Jinyoung was trying to do. “I don’t think that will help.”

Jinyoung frowned. “It will motivate you to get more right!”

Mark chuckled at the younger’s efforts. “Nice try, but no…”

“Mark…” Jinyoung whined, wanting to throw a tantrum like a five year old for a kiss.

Mark ignored him, continuing to study his words. Jinyoung sucked his teeth, annoyed at the fact that he wasn’t getting what he wanted. Mark liked that the tables were turned and that he was the one messing with Jinyoung rather than the other way around, thoroughly enjoying the younger’s childish attitude he had. Not long after though, Jinyoung suddenly grabbed the book, flipping rapidly through the pages.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Mark asked, watching him flip from page to page.

“This is in alphabetical order, right?” Jinyoung asked, Mark nodding his head in response.

Jinyoung flipped through a few times, finally finding what he was looking for. “Okay, here. Translate this word.” Jinyoung said, putting the book back in front of Mark.

Mark looked at the word, shrugging when he read it. “It means I. That’s easy.”

“Okay, now…” Jinyoung flipped the pages a few more times to a different word. “This one.”

“Kiss?” Mark read, not sure what Jinyoung was getting at.

“Okay, good. Now, last word.” Jinyoung said, flipping the pages once more.

“Want.” Mark read out.

Jinyoung nodded. “Okay, now I’m gonna write those words on a piece of paper in Japanese, and you have to read the sentence I make with them.”

Mark nodded, waiting for Jinyoung to find a pen and paper to write on. Once he found them, he slowly wrote the sentence in Japanese, making sure each character came out correctly.

“Okay, now, translate this.” Jinyoung said, showing Mark the paper.

Mark leaned in towards the paper and read aloud. “I want kiss… I want a kiss…” Mark slowly read.

As soon as he read the line, Jinyoung put the paper down and puckered his lips, leaning in to the elder. Mark leaned away, gently pushing Jinyoung back.

“How clever of you… but it still didn’t work.” Mark said, closing the book and standing from his desk.

Jinyoung pouted. “Mark it’s been _hours_ since I’ve had a kiss…”

“It’s barely been ten minutes! See, this is why I’m telling you we need to find something better to do with ourselves. We can’t lay around and kiss each other all day.” Mark said.

“Then can we cuddle?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark thought about it, thinking that cuddling sounded nice too, then declined. “That’s not any better than kissing, and cuddling often leads to make out sessions anyway. Just find something to do Nyoungie, to take your mind off of it.”

“The only thing I want to do is kiss you!” Jinyoung said, puckering his lips again.

Mark shook his head. “Sorry Nyoungie…”

Jinyoung huffed, stomping his foot like a child. “Don’t call me that or else I really can’t control what I’ll do to you.”

Mark furrowed his brows. “Why does that sound like a threat?”

Jinyoung sighed. “Because it is! If you don’t want me to kiss you, then stop being so damn cute, and stop calling me Nyoungie, and stop being so warm and cuddly!”

Mark was a bit caught off guard by how upset Jinyoung was over his kissing ban. “I mean, some of those things I can’t control…”

“Well then, it’s not fair to say I can’t kiss you when all of those things make me _want_ to kiss you!” Jinyoung said, groaning as he dropped himself on Mark's bed.

“I think you’re being over dramatic…” Mark said, finding himself a bit amused by Jinyoung's childish behavior.

“You’re making me be over dramatic. Just give me a damn kiss already.” Jinyoung demanded, his arms outstretched for Mark to fill them.

“No, later okay? If you can go until after dinner without a kiss, then you can have all the kisses you want. Deal?” Mark asked, holding out his pinkie for Jinyoung to shake.

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes, taking a moment to think about it. “You promise?”

“Promise.” Mark assured.

“Like, once dinner is over, I can kiss you all I want?” Jinyoung asked, to make sure he was understanding correctly.

“You can have an unlimited amount of kisses.” Mark confirmed.

“Even if we make out for hours?” Jinyoung asked, making sure Mark knows what he’s promising.

“You can kiss me until the sun rises tomorrow morning if that’s you want.” Mark said, being sarcastic, but Jinyoung face showed that he might actually consider doing it.

“Fine. It’s already late afternoon, and the rest should be coming back soon so waiting until dinner shouldn’t be too bad.” Jinyoung said, standing up from Mark's bed and shaking his pinkie.

“Yeah, just find something else to do that takes your mind off of me.” Mark suggested.

Jinyoung nodded and left the room. Mark sighed at the fact that he finally got the younger to go do something with himself. He didn’t think that holding off from kissing was a bad thing, since literally that’s the only thing the two did together. Mark was a bit affected by the ban, as he already missed Jinyoung's lips, but he knew that he could hold off until after dinner. It shouldn’t be that hard.

The others came back one by one from different schedules, Jaebum and BamBam being the last to to return, and bringing food with them. Mark hadn’t seen Jinyoung since he left his room earlier, thinking that if they separated for a bit, it will prevent them from wanting to just attack each other’s lips. Once dinner was brought home though, Mark and Jinyoung found each other in the kitchen, grinning once they saw one another.

“Ew…” BamBam said when he saw the two.

“You two have been home alone all day, why are you grinning at each other like that?” Yugyeom asked.

“They probably did something dirty…” Youngjae said, raising his eyebrows.

“No actually, we haven’t even seen each other for about 2 hours now.” Mark stated, sitting at the table.

Jaebum’s eyes widened. “Really? That’s kinda hard to believe since you two stick to each other like glue…”

“No, seriously. Mark is being annoying so we haven’t seen each other for a while.” Jinyoung stated, glancing at Mark.

“Oh no, their first fight?” Yugyeom said with a frown.

“I’m not being annoying, you’re the one being annoying!” Mark retorted, caught off guard by how quickly Jinyoung flipped the story.

“You won’t give me what I want…” Jinyoung groaned.

“We already made a deal, didn’t we? Just a little bit longer, okay?” Mark said, smiling at the younger who rolled his eyes.

“Um, we don’t need to hear about your dick sucking plans while eating…” Jackson stated, making Mark choke on his food and Jinyoung trip over his own feet.

“No! It’s nothing like that…” Mark said, a blush settling on his cheeks.

“Sounded a bit like that though.” BamBam mumbled.

“It’s not!” Mark said, ignoring the younger who was laughing at him.

Jinyoung sat across from Mark at the table, staring at the elder who tried so hard to focus on eating his own food, but with Jinyoung staring at him it was nearly impossible. Mark glanced up at the younger once, and he immediately regretted it. As soon as Mark's gaze landed on Jinyoung, the younger licked his lips slowly, never breaking eye contact with Mark whose heart stopped at the action.

Mark quickly looked away, trying to ignore Jinyoung's looks and actions, but the younger was purposely trying to get Mark's attention. Mark couldn’t help but look at Jinyoung again, who was now biting his lip as he listened to Jackson talk to him about something. The younger was shooting glances over at Mark who knew that he was trying hard to get Mark to break, and it was working.

Suddenly, BamBam tapped Mark's shoulder and started talking to him about something, so Mark tried to focus on the conversation, but he couldn’t stop himself from quickly looking over to Jinyoung, who had spilled some juice down his chin, and he was slowly wiping it away with a napkin. He licked the rest of it off of his lips, staring at Mark as he did so, and Mark had had just about enough of the teasing.

Jinyoung got up from the table, announcing that he was done eating and headed back to his room, looking back at Mark as he walked off. Mark waited a bit before following the younger, also cleaning his dishes up and announcing that he was done. The other members teased him for following Jinyoung, but Mark didn’t care at that point. He walked back to Jinyoung's room and found the younger reading a book on his bed. Mark entered and closed the door behind him, smiling at the younger who briefly looked up from his book.

“Dinner is over!” Mark said, walking over to Jinyoung's bed.

“So?” Jinyoung asked, not looking up from his book.

“...So, kissing ban is lifted!” Mark said, sitting at the foot of the bed.

“Oh yeah, it is…” Jinyoung said dryly, still not paying Mark much attention.

“Unlimited kisses?” Mark asked, wondering why Jinyoung was being so unenthusiastic.

“I don’t want to anymore.” Jinyoung said, flipping a page in his book.

Mark frowned. “Why not?”

“You were right, we needed to find something better to do with our time rather than just kiss and stuff. I totally forgot about this book I was reading, and I’m kinda intrigued in the story.” Jinyoung stated, quickly reading the pages.

“But… don’t you want to do something fun?” Mark asked, lightly touching Jinyoung's leg.

“This is fun. I like reading.” Jinyoung said, ignoring Mark.

“I don’t.” Mark stated, getting a bit upset at the younger.

“Well then go find something you enjoy doing. Like learning Japanese.” Jinyoung suggested.

Mark groaned. “Why are you doing this now?...”

“Doing what?” Jinyoung asked, unable to hide the tiny smirk on his face.

“You’re just upset that I didn’t kiss you earlier, and now your making me suffer…” Mark said, knowing how Jinyoung thinks.

Jinyoung closed his book, sitting it down on his nightstand. “It’s only fair Mark. It’s payback for you taking away something I enjoy.”

“I enjoy it too! But I’m at least able to go a few hours without being all over you.” Mark said.

“Good, then you can go a few more.” Jinyoung said, standing to leave.

Mark wasn’t going to allow that though, pulling the younger back down the the bed and caging him there. “You’re not going anywhere without kissing me.”

Jinyoung was wide eyed at Mark's sudden change in behavior. Just seconds ago, he was whining over Jinyoung not being interested in kissing him, but moments later he had Jinyoung pinned to the bed, trapping the younger there until he got what he wanted.

“M-Mark I told you already, we shou- “ Jinyoung tried to finish his sentence, but was cut off.

“Stop acting like you don’t want to. We promised, okay? I can’t go any longer Nyoungie…” Mark said, leaning into to the younger who gladly accepted the long awaited kiss.

Jinyoung dropped the act, kissing Mark back as desperately as the elder was. The kiss was hot and hungry, both of them had been longing to feel each other’s lips since they parted earlier that day. Mark was really into it, even though he was the one who started the whole “no kissing” thing to begin with. His hand worked its way into Jinyoung's hair, holding his head steady as he licked into the younger’s mouth. He wanted to feel the tongue that Jinyoung had put out for display during dinner, and he pressed his lips harder against Jinyoung soft and luscious ones.

Mark was so focused on the taste and feel Jinyoung's mouth that he was caught off guard by a moan that came from the younger’s throat. Mark pulled away, looking at him with wide eyes. Jinyoung looked hot, with his face flushed, his lips red and swollen, his hair messy, Mark wanted to lean back in and continue where they left off, but he was still a bit surprised by the noise Jinyoung emitted.

“I’m sorry it just… it slipped out…” Jinyoung said, the younger looking away in embarrassment.

Mark shook his head. “N-No… it’s okay, I’m just… it sounded… hot…”

Jinyoung blinked a few times registering what Mark just said. “D-Did it? I just thought you were weirded out by it or something…”

Mark again shook his head. “No… no, that means I’m doing a good job, right? It means you like it?”

Jinyoung's already red face turned even redder. “Uh… yeah… it means I like it _a lot_ …”

Mark nodded, understanding the whole situation now. “Then, I need to try harder to hear more of that.”

Jinyoung didn’t even have time to react to what Mark said, as the elder immediately pressed his lips back to his. He held Jinyoung's jaw in place as he slowly swirled his tongue with the younger’s. Mark's main focus was now to bring pleasure to Jinyoung, sucking and biting and licking the others lips to hear those sweet moans again.

It didn’t take long either, as Jinyoung was again making small moaning and whimpering noises, fueling Mark to do more. It felt good to be the only person able to make Jinyoung like this. He liked the way the younger tasted, and felt, and sounded, and he didn’t know how much more perfect someone could be.

Mark's arms became tired from holding him up over Jinyoung, so he just allowed his body to lay on top of the younger’s as their mouths never parted. Jinyoung's body was warm against Mark's, and he felt comfortable to lay on. Jinyoung placed his own hand in Mark's hair, not allowing the elder to go anywhere.

Mark felt the need to adjust himself on top of Jinyoung, shifting his body just a bit. Little did he know though, that just that shift in body placement would perfectly align their crotches, and when Mark had moved just the slightest, their hips met together perfectly. Mark's breath hitched when he felt his crotch rub against Jinyoung's, not expecting the sudden feeling down there. Jinyoung on the other hand, moaned before widening his eyes, also caught off guard by the motion of their hips. Mark pulled back, unsure of what just happened.

“Uh…” was all that left the elder's mouth as he stared down at Jinyoung who hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Did… did you do that on purpose?” Jinyoung asked once he regained his thoughts.

Mark immediately shook his head. “No! No, I was just fixing my position and…”

“Oh…” Jinyoung responded.

There was an awkward silence between them, as neither of them knew exactly what to do next. They stared at each other for a minute, then looked away. Mark was the one that spoke first.

“Did it… feel good?” He asked awkwardly.

Jinyoung gulped, not sure where exactly they were going with this. He hesitantly nodded his head, still looking up at Mark from where he laid.

“Oh… me too… I mean, it made me feel good too…” Mark confessed, looking away from the younger.

“That’s… good, I guess…” Jinyoung responded, thinking about how cute and awkward Mark was when flustered.

“So, um… should I… do it again?” Mark asked, looking back at Jinyoung for an answer.

Jinyoung was a bit surprised that Mark was being so forward with him. He didn’t want to force Mark into doing something he didn’t want to do, but this was Mark himself suggesting it.

“Um… if you want to, then yeah…” Jinyoung responded.

Mark stared at Jinyoung for an uncomfortably long time, making the younger feel a bit self conscious. Eventually though, Mark slowly crawled back on top of Jinyoung, slotting himself between the younger’s legs that had slightly widened. Jinyoung didn’t know what Mark's final decision was until the elder kissed him again and experimentally rolled his hips into Jinyoung's.

Jinyoung groaned, the feeling again coming unexpectedly, but Mark repeated the motion over and over again as he sucked on Jinyoung's bottom lip, making the younger grip the bed sheets. Jinyoung didn’t know how forceful Mark could be with his hips until now, the elder rolling them slow and deep against Jinyoung's.

In this moment, Mark didn’t know what he was feeling. His lower area felt really good the more he grinded again Jinyoung, and Jinyoung's moans were becoming a bit louder and more frequent. He felt his boxers getting tighter, and Mark could recognize that feeling anywhere. It took only a few minutes, but Mark realized that this was his first time being sexually aroused and pleasured by Jinyoung, and he had no idea what he was missing out on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally every chapter after this is just smut so if your here for it then there u go lol. I'm just warning you now lol seriously, I'm telling you there is BARELY anything besides smut from this point on.
> 
> (If you're not here for smut then at least go to the last chapter (if it's even posted yet dkdjsn) and read the end notes where I basically say thanks lol but I don't feel like writing it here.)
> 
> But yeah I decided after this I'm just gonna release all three smutty chapters at the same time because why not??? Just read it at your own pace lol next chapter is kinda loooong.


	12. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUTTY SMUT SMUT AHEAD ! ! !

Mark had been feeling a bit different since his experience with Jinyoung the night before. He realised that he hadn’t really thought of Jinyoung in a dirty way before, so doing something like that with the younger sort of caught Mark by surprise. Of course he’s thought about Jinyoung's body and face and lips, but not really in a way that was meant to be kept behind closed doors.

It seems though, that accidental grind of their hips the night before sparked something in Mark that made him want to do it over and over again. Needless to say, they both dirtied their underwear last night. Mark was a bit awkward about it, feeling the need to run to the bathroom and clean himself up before returning to Jinyoung who took care of it quickly in his room. But after the experience, Mark saw things about Jinyoung that he didn’t really see before.

His lips for example. Mark loves Jinyoung's lips. All he used to think about was kissing them endlessly. But suddenly, Mark wants to know what those pairs of perfect lips would feel like _elsewhere_ . Like on his neck, or chest, or stomach, or even lower. Mark knows these thoughts are impure, but he was curious. Obviously he’s never done anything with a boy before, so that first experience left a good impression on him, and he wanted _more_.

They still slept together, but Mark would suddenly feel his body temperature rise when Jinyoung cuddled really close. Or when he’d push his body back against Mark, all the elder could feel was the nice curve and shape of his body, whereas before he just enjoyed Jinyoung warmth. Mark didn’t know if he became dirtier overnight or something, but he definitely felt it.

He hated the fact that all he wanted to do was touch Jinyoung's body. He’d never thought things like that before, but suddenly, he wanted to reach under the younger’s shirt and feel what’s under there. It’s not like he’s doesn’t know or has never seen it before, it’s rather that he just really wanted to feel him. It felt weird to think things like that.

The one thing that Mark couldn’t forget about though, were those moans. As soon as the first one slipped out, he craved more, especially when they became more frequent as their crotches rubbed together. Mark just wanted to hear more of that, as he’s never been more aroused over a noise than he was the night before, and the way he rutted against Jinyoung showed it.

Waking up with Jinyoung sleeping soundly just centimeters from his face didn’t help his impure mind at all. All he could do is stare at the younger as the sun casted a golden glow down to his face, his natural tan showing in the soft light and the dark brown of his hair looking like chocolate. Mark wanted to softly press his lips against Jinyoung's naturally pouted ones. He wanted to touch the younger’s face, yearning to feel the softness of his cheeks, but he didn’t want to disturb his sleep.

So he just stared at him, imagining those lips on his neck, and those eyes squeezed shut at pure ecstasy coursed through the younger's body. He remembered the time that Jinyoung was touching his chest, and he finally understood how dirty that must’ve looked. Yet now all he wanted were those hands back on his chest, or on his hips, or anywhere else Jinyoung wanted to place them. He imagined Jinyoung’s body shuddering under him, like it did the night before when Jinyoung reached his high, his eyebrows knitting together as he tipped over the edge, his mouth open in a silent moan.

Mark already felt himself getting hot and bothered, and suddenly the covers over him felt like too much. They were sleeping in Jinyoung's room, which is colder than Mark's room, yet it was becoming too hot for Mark. He glanced over at Jinyoung again, making sure the younger was fast asleep before slowly sliding himself out from under the blankets. Jinyoung made a sudden groaning nose and Mark froze, watching as the younger flipped himself over and continued to sleep. Mark stayed still for a solid minute, before continuing out of the bed. He tiptoed to the door, looking back at Jinyoung once more, who would probably sense Mark's absence of presence soon and wake up looking for him. For now though, he was still fast asleep, and Mark swiftly left the room.

He had planned to go to the bathroom to calm himself, but Jaebum was already occupying it, so Mark opted to go into his own room. He still felt way to hot, needing to pull off his shirt and sit shirtless on his bed as he tried to relax himself from those thoughts that got him riled up. He felt himself half hard already in his boxers, hoping that would go away soon. He thought about taking care of it himself, but he knows that only thoughts of Jinyoung would arouse him so much, and he’d feel weird about pleasuring himself to thoughts of the younger, even though they are in a relationship.

So Mark just waited it out, hoping that he wouldn’t have to resort to reaching between his legs and releasing himself. The world must be against him though, because only about 20 minutes after Mark had awoken, a groggy Jinyoung entered his room without a knock. Mark tensed at the sudden intrusion, relaxed when he realized it was just Jinyoung, then tensed again at the sudden feeling of his member twitching in his pants.

“Oh, found you…” Jinyoung said, sounding as if he had searched for Mark like the elder predicted he would.

“Yup… I came in here.” Mark said, trying not to focus on the way Jinyoung's hoodie hugged his frame perfectly.

“Why?... Why’d you leave me?” Jinyoung asked, entering the room and closing the door behind him.

“Um, it got a bit hot in your room…” Mark said, telling as much of the truth he could. Of course leaving out the parts where he imagined Jinyoung doing less than pure things.

“Oh… but, it’s warmer in here…” Jinyoung noted, catching Mark in his partial lie.

“Oh… yeah, well I was going to the bathroom, but Jaebum was in there so I was kinda just waiting for him in here.” Mark said, hoping Jinyoung would accept that as an answer.

“Oh, I see…” he responded, shuffling over to Mark's bed and sitting next to the elder. “Well then, you could have just waited in my room with me.”

“I didn’t want to disturb you…” Mark said, hoping that Jinyoung wouldn’t notice him holding his legs together to hide his arousal.

“I wouldn’t have minded, especially since you’re shirtless.” Jinyoung said, his fingers lightly trailing down Mark's spine.

Mark shifted awkwardly on the bed,  trying not to react too much to Jinyoung's touches. But Jinyoung was a perceptive person, he can tell how much of an effect he has on Mark, and he loves messing with the elder.

“I-It was just really hot… I needed to take off my shirt…” Mark said, glancing over at the younger who had a smirk plastered on his face.

“I don’t mind. You already know how much I love feeling your abs anyway.” Jinyoung stated, his other hand spreading across Mark's abs.

Mark swallowed hard, Jinyoung touching him was the last thing he needed right at the moment. He allowed Jinyoung to feel his abs for just a few moments, before standing up and heading towards the door.

“I’m going to uh, see if Jaebum is out of the shower.” Mark stated quickly leaving the room.

He didn’t even look back, not wanting to see Jinyoung's disappointed face. He quickly headed to the bathroom, seeing that Jaebum had finished his shower. He needed to cool off, closing and locking the door behind him as he leaned back on it. He was too worked up too early in the morning because of Jinyoung. He usually takes a shower after eating, but he needed to take one immediately, turning on the cold water and stripping quickly to jump in.

The cold droplets against his steaming skin felt like heaven, and he was able to calm down from earlier. He turned on the hot water to make it warm, and finished up his shower, spending most of it trying not to get himself turned on again.

He hopped out of the shower and dried off, just sitting on the toilet in his towel as he got himself together. Even though Jinyoung was his significant other, it felt almost wrong to think these things about him. Mark definitely felt better after the shower, but that didn't keep Jinyoung off of his mind at all, and suddenly the thought of him and Jinyoung showering together entered his mind.

Jinyoung had mentioned it as a joke once before, but Mark was now sitting in the bathroom thinking about the younger’s moans bouncing off the walls of the shower. Mark groaned, shaking his head before getting up and washing his face. He looked in the mirror and patted his cheeks a few times, trying to get the thoughts out of his head. He took a deep breath, feeling sort of better, and walked out of the bathroom, heading back to his room to get a fresh change of clothes.

He forgot that he’d left Jinyoung in his room, and as he walked in he expected the younger to be in there. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw that Jinyoung had gone somewhere else, probably to the kitchen to eat. Mark put on some clothes and decided to go eat something himself, walking to the kitchen and immediately spotting Jinyoung. Only Youngjae and Yugyeom where at the table, fully dressed and eating cereal when Mark walked in.

“Where’s everyone else? And why are you two up so early?” Mark asked as he went to get something to eat.

“Jaebum went with Jackson to the store, BamBam is filming some variety show, me and Yug need to go into the studio, and you two are stuck home alone, again.” Youngjae said, wiggling his eyebrows at the two.

Jinyoung groaned. “When we don’t have a comeback I literally sit here and do nothing…”

“You shouldn’t be complaining, I’m home alone more than you are.” Mark said, sitting down at the table and joining them to eat.

“You’re cute, so you at least get called for photoshoots.” Jinyoung said. “I get nothing.”

“Ugh, Stop flirting…” Yugyeom said.

“I’m not flirting, what photoshoots have you done recently?” Jinyoung asked.

“Shut up…” Yugyeom said in a defeated tone.

“Hey, at least you get to be alone together. Me and Jaebum barely have time to even see each other…” Youngjae complained.

“Which is why the few times you do see each other, everyone else ends up getting no sleep at night…” Yugyeom said, getting a slap on the shoulder from Youngjae.

“Whatever, anyway, we gotta go. Come on.” Youngjae said, dragging Yugyeom behind him.

“Can I just finish my cereal?” Yugyeom asked as he was pulled out, the door shutting behind him.

“Well I guess we gotta clean up their mess.” Mark said with a light chuckle, finishing up his own food and cleaning up the other's dishes.

Jinyoung stood there staring at Mark, a sort of an upset look on his face.

Mark put the dishes away and spun around to see Jinyoung staring at him, and he frowned at the sight of the younger. “Did you eat something?” Mark asked, noticing that he hadn’t seen Jinyoung eat.

“Yes…” Jinyoung replied.

“Then what?” Mark asked, wondering why Jinyoung was looking at him like that.

“You ran away from me earlier.” Jinyoung stated, folding his arms over his chest.

Mark immediately knew that Jinyoung was referring to when he quickly left the room to go shower, but he wasn’t _exactly_ running away from the younger. “No, I wasn’t running away…”

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at Mark. “Then what was it? I mean, you left the bed before I woke up too.”

“No… it’s not that I’m running from you…” Mark said, feeling a bit embarrassed to tell Jinyoung exactly why he kept being distant.

“Then what Mark? What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right?” Jinyoung asked, stepping closer and taking Mark's hands into his own.

“Yeah… yeah I know…” Mark said, averting his eyes from the younger.

“So then, what’s wrong?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark chewed his lip, not exactly sure what to say. He didn’t exactly want to tell Jinyoung that the problem was in his pants, but that was the truth. And Mark felt the problem growing bigger and bigger the longer Jinyoung stood close to him.

“N-Nothing… nothing’s wrong…” Mark said with the best smile he can muster.

Jinyoung frowned. “Are you lying to me? Is it true that nothing's wrong?”

Mark nodded his head, even leaning in and pecking Jinyoung's lips. “I mean it, nothing is wrong.”

Jinyoung hesitated before smiling. “Okay.”

Jinyoung leaned in and gently pressed his lips against Mark's, the elder feeling a tingly sensation run through him as his body heated up once again. Mark wanted so badly to just grind his hips forward against the man in front of him, but he held himself back, not wanting to do something weird and scare the younger off.

He gently parted from the kiss, pulling away as the younger tried to follow his lips. “I… um… I need to practice more Japanese…” Mark said trying to move out of the younger’s grasp.

“No, not again…” Jinyoung whined, pulling Mark back to him.

“Jinyoung I have to…” Mark said, even though he was really just trying to go and take care of the hard on in his pants.

“Not until I get a proper taste of you.” Jinyoung whispered, knowing that it’d bother Mark.

“Jinyoung _please_ stop saying things like that…” Mark said, Jinyoung's usually meaningless dirty words actually having an effect on him this time.

“I just like to mess with you, you know that.” Jinyoung said, leaving a peck on Mark's cheek.

Mark squirmed away from the younger who seemed to have no plan of letting go of him. “I just… need to take care of something right now…”

Mark then quickly left the kitchen, feeling his erection heavy in his pants. He closed the door to his room and breathed out a sigh, looking down at the bulge protruding through his shorts. He didn’t know if Jinyoung noticed it or not, but being so close to the younger nearly made his heart stop, he had to get out of there.

Of course, Jinyoung being the persistent person he was, followed Mark to his room, knocking on the door. Mark didn’t want to open it, as he had no time whatsoever to calm himself down, but he knows that keeping Jinyoung out would just make things worse. He decided to open the door, and Jinyoung was standing there on the other side of it with his hands on his hips.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Jinyoung asked before storming into the room.

“W-What?” Mark asked, as if he didn’t know why Jinyoung was mad.

“What is your problem?” Jinyoung asked, stepping closer to the elder whose back was against the door.

“I… I don’t know what you mean…” Mark said.

“Are you kidding me? You run away from me, then tell me that nothing's wrongs, and run away from me again. Any other time you want me all over you, but now you’re being distant…” Jinyoung said, steam nearly coming from his ears.

“Am I?” Mark asked, still pretending that he’s clueless.

Jinyoung sighed. “You can play dumb all you want, but you need to tell me right now why- “

Jinyoung was cut off by Mark's lips swiftly covering his. He was wide eyed, before melting into Mark's arms that found their way around the younger. Mark didn’t know what came over him. He knew Jinyoung was upset, and knew that he’d been avoiding him all day, but suddenly Mark just wanted to kiss him. He just had a sudden urge to have Jinyoung in his arms and leaning against him, so he acted on it before his brain could fully process what he did.

Jinyoung lightly pushed Mark's chest, still a bit lightheaded from the sudden kiss. “What… why… I-I mean, d-did you do that because I was angry? B-Because that won’t change my mind so easily…” he said, still a bit flustered.

“Jinyoung, I… um… the thing is that… I’ve just been… I want you.” Mark stuttered, not exactly sure how to word what he was trying to say.

“What? But… I’m right here?” Jinyoung said, furrowing his brows as he didn’t understand what Mark meant.

“No, not like that. In a different way… I mean… I _want_ you. Like, I want to… you know…” Mark trailed off, hoping that Jinyoung would catch on.

“You want to…” Jinyoung repeated, trying to think of what Mark was trying to say. Then it suddenly clicked. “Oh. _Oh_ …”

Mark nodded, knowing that finally Jinyoung understood what he meant. “S-Since last night I’ve been… um… thinking about you a lot… but not in the most, uh, _purest_ of ways…”

Jinyoung blushed, realizing what had been on Mark's mind. “Ah… I see…”

“My… body gets like, warm and stuff... and when you get near me I… I can’t… I can’t handle it…” Mark explained. “Which is why I’ve tried not to be so close to you, but… it’s not working…”

Jinyoung could see the want in Mark's eyes, and he felt his heart stop when Mark bit his lower lip as he gazed at the younger. “Oh, well… I can’t say that I haven’t had my share of naughty thoughts about you… but I guess it feels a bit weird since it’s your first time thinking about me in _that_ way…”

Mark shook his head. “Not exactly weird… it feels good… but… um… how do I say this?...”

Jinyoung waited, almost impatiently for Mark to finish his sentence. He stared at the elder who looked around the room as he thought, trying to figure out how to word his sentence.

“Um… I’m not exactly sure how to put this, but… I really, _really_ would like to fuck you… if that’s okay?” Mark asked, looking to the younger hopefully.

Jinyoung literally choked on his own spit, and he needed a minute to get himself together.

“I-I’m sorry, was that too blunt? I really didn’t know how else to say it…” Mark said while patting Jinyoung on the back as he coughed.

Jinyoung shook his head. “No… no actually that was… I mean, there are a million other ways you could have said that but… that caught me off guard…”

“I’m sorry…” Mark said again.

“No, don’t apologize! It’s really okay… it was… pretty hot, actually…” Jinyoung confessed, looking at Mark with a blush covering his face.

“Oh, was it? I just… I don’t know if you want to…” Mark mumbled.

“Yes! I-I mean of course I want to… I actually didn’t know if _you_ wanted to…” Jinyoung said.

Mark furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“Because you didn’t react well to my dirty comments, so I just playfully said them to mess with you. But I actually meant some of them…” Jinyoung confessed, looking away.

“Oh… well that was before we… um… before what happened last night. Since then I’ve just… I’ve wanted you so bad…” Mark said, leaning into Jinyoung as lust took over him.

“Well then, you can have me.” Jinyoung said, closing the distance between them.

Mark felt his heart racing as he realized what was happening, too lost in Jinyoung's lips to have second thoughts. His hands held Jinyoung's thin waist, keeping the younger close against him as their lips moved perfectly together. Jinyoung's hands were placed on Mark's shoulders, occasionally moving up to his neck as their heads moved for a better angle.

Mark already felt hot again as Jinyoung's body leaned into his own, feeling the youngers breathing against him. His hands had travelled up to Jinyoung's hair to hold him in place as he licked into the youngers mouth, their tongues swirling together in a mess of hot breath and saliva.

Mark had the urge to push Jinyoung down to his bed, which he acted on promptly, the younger pulling Mark down along with him. They immediately resumed where they left off, except Jinyoung had worked his hands under Mark's shirt, feeling the soft skin underneath. Mark focused on Jinyoung's mouth, loving the taste of Jinyoung a bit too much.

Mark lightly sucked on Jinyoung's bottom lip, rolling it between his teeth before dipping his tongue back into the younger's mouth. Jinyoung for some reason loved that, a soft whimper coming from him that only made Mark hungrier for more. Mark's senses were filled with the taste, smell, and touch of Jinyoung, the younger's fingers leaving burning trails on Mark's skin as they brushed along his chest.

Mark could feel Jinyoung's hands tugging on the shirt he was wearing, assuming that it meant he wanted it off. Mark compiled, breaking the kiss briefly to pull off his shirt and throw it to the side. Jinyoung placed his hands back on Mark's body, this time his hands brushing over the elders nipples. Mark hissed and bit Jinyoung's lip again, making the younger groan as he licked over it with his tongue. The kiss got a bit rougher, their teeth clashing occasionally as both of them got more excited.

Jinyoung parted from Mark's lips, needing a moment to catch his breath, but Mark just started licking down Jinyoung's jaw to the youngers neck. Jinyoung groaned as Mark sucked on different spots on Jinyoung's neck, finding some of the more sensitive places and spending more time there just to hear the noises Jinyoung made. He knows he shouldn't leave too harsh of a mark, but Jinyoung's skin was too flawless to not at least leave one lasting one.

Mark ran his hands up Jinyoung's sides, pushing the hoodie he was wearing up along with it, exposing Jinyoung's perfect torso. He felt the younger shudder as his skin was slowly bared out into the open, yet his body was impossibly warm when Mark touched it. Jinyoung raised his arms so that Mark could remove the hoodie, finally able to see Jinyoung's bare figure right in front of him.

Mark looked down at the younger, taking in his beautiful body, but suddenly, Mark was confused. He was on top of Jinyoung whose face was flushed, lips swollen, and light bruises littered his neck, but from that point, Mark didn't know what to do. It was his first time with a guy, but he didn't know how to treat a guy's body. He thought it would be easy, since Mark is a man himself, yet it seemed impossible to figure out what to do next.

Jinyoung noticed Mark's hesitation, looking up at the elder from where he laid on the bed. “Whats wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing really…” Mark stated. “It’s just… I don't know how to do this…”

Jinyoung chuckled, laughing at how cute Mark was. “You were doing great so far, I almost forgot it was your first time with a man.”

“I just did what I knew how to do, but… I don't know how to do anything else.” Mark confessed, blushing a bit from embarrassment.

“Don't be embarrassed.” Jinyoung said, and in one quick motion the younger had flipped their positions, Jinyoung now on top of Mark. “I'll guide you.”

Mark nodded his head, realizing that this was it. It was his first time doing something like this with a guy, but not just any guy, with Jinyoung. Their relationship was taking another step forward, and Mark was ready for it. He didn't expect it to happen like this, and he didn't even really know what was gonna happen. But because of the kind way Jinyoung looked at Mark, and the careful way he handled the elder, Mark felt safe in Jinyoung's care.

“So, it's really not much different from doing it with a girl.” Jinyoung started. “You did good with the hickies, so at least you know that much.”

Jinyoung bent down and gently kissed the junction between Mark's neck and shoulder, before sucking the area. Mark shuddered, finally getting what he'd imagined earlier, Jinyoung lips on him just kissing and sucking everywhere. Jinyoung trailed down Mark's neck until he found a spot that made Mark whimper, and Mark was surprised that a sound like that even came out of him.

Jinyoung giggled, noticing how Mark covered his mouth afterwards. “Feels good, huh?”

Mark turned his head away, unable to look at Jinyoung who was enjoying this way too much. But Mark couldn't lie, it did feel good.

“So, after the neck, you can do multiple things, but usually I like to go for the nipples.” Jinyoung whispered, his fingers dragging down Mark's chest to his nipples.

Mark's body tensed and he groaned as Jinyoung rolled the pink nubs under his fingers. For some reason, they felt extra sensitive, probably because he was _very_ aroused and almost any sort of touch from Jinyoung felt good to him.

“It's also good to use your mouth. It always makes them squirm.” Jinyoung added, before flicking one of Mark's nipples with his tongue.

Mark felt a jolt run through his body, he didn't know that his nipples were this sensitive. He shuddered as he moaned softly from the squeezes and nips on his nipple, only making his erection twitch even more in his pants. Jinyoung looked up at Mark, enjoying the view of the pleasured elder.

“...After that,” Jinyoung started when he pulled away from Mark's nipples. “you can just work your way down _there_.”

Mark shivered in anticipation at the emphasis on the word “there", knowing that Jinyoung meant the part that was straining in his boxers.

Jinyoung ran his hands down Mark's torso, leaving kisses and bruises on the younger's stomach as he made his way to the waistband of Mark's pants. Jinyoung's fingers played at the top of them, dipping into Mark's pants just a little before pulling out. Mark watched Jinyoung, his heart racing a bit faster everytime the younger's fingers dipped in.

“You want these off, don't you?” Jinyoung asked, referencing to Mark's pants.

Mark quickly nodded, unable to find his voice at the time.

“I like to tease, if you couldn't tell, but I'll try to hold back… only this time though, since it's your first.” Jinyoung said.

Mark suddenly found the will to say something in response to Jinyoung. “You make it sound like I'm a virgin…”

Jinyoung chuckled. “Well in this situation, you sort of are. Either way, what's wrong with that?”

Mark didn't have an answer to that, and he didn’t even think about it as he was too caught up in Jinyoung removing his pants. Jinyoung looked at the tent in Marks boxers, licking his lips as he stared at it. Mark felt tingles go through him, his anticipation at its peak.

“This is the part that you’ll probably be confused on, but don’t worry, I’ll show you how to make a man feel _really_ good.” Jinyoung stated, and Mark couldn’t keep his hips from bucking up a little.

Jinyoung laughed. “Eager, are we?”

Mark definitely was eager, and he nearly moaned aloud when Jinyoung started palming him through his boxer. Mark's erection had been eagerly waiting for way too long to be touched, and any sort of friction against it felt incredibly good. Jinyoung touched it teasingly while leaving butterfly kisses on Mark's thighs. Mark could feel Jinyoung's mouth move closer to his clothed member, and Mark nearly cried when Jinyoung licked it through the fabric.

Jinyoung's warm, wet tongue just on the outside of his boxers drove him crazy, the elder wanting direct contact as Jinyoung sucked him through the boxers. His breathing quickened and he realized how close he was to climaxing already, just a few touches from Jinyoung already bringing him to the edge.

Jinyoung noticed the way Marks legs trembled under him, already figuring out that Mark was close. He pulled away from Mark's boxers, gripping the top of the undergarments and slowly pulling them down, revealing Mark's awaiting erection. Mark somewhat felt self conscious, as he was splayed out for Jinyoung like buffet, bare naked. But at the same time his arousal overwhelmed any awkward feelings, and Jinyoung wasted no time taking Mark's member into his hand. Marks breath hitched as he felt Jinyoung tug it a few times.

“So, I’m pretty sure you’ve jerked off before. It’s basically like masturbating, but it isn’t on yourself.” Jinyoung said, pumping Mark's erection a few times as an example.

“Handjobs are pretty easy, just grab it and jerk. It’s the blowjobs that people really have trouble with.” Jinyoung explained. “First, you should tease it a bit, just lick the head and stuff to get the guy excited.”

Jinyoung did what he dictated to Mark, his tongue running across the head of Mark's precum dripping member. He closed his lips around it, Mark watching in awe as the head of his dick was enclosed in Jinyoung's pretty little mouth. He felt Jinyoung's tongue swirl around the head, driving Mark insane.

“Then, for the main part, you have to relax your throat so you can take it as far as possible without choking, but I don’t really have a gag reflex, so it’s pretty easy for me. And the trick is when you're doing it, don’t just let your mouth do all the work. You should bob your head and use your tongue, but you have hands for a reason, use them as well.” Jinyoung instructed, sounding like a blowjob professional.

Mark was pretty sure that wasn’t the main reason humans had hands, but he let Jinyoung explain it whichever way he wanted to, as Mark was just focused on how close Jinyoung's mouth was to his dick. He could literally feel the small puffs of breath that came out of the younger's mouth as he spoke, making him yearn for Jinyoung's mouth on him.

“And… I guess that’s pretty much it. Blowjobs aren't really complicated, it’s just sort of hard for some people to not choke on someone’s dick…” Jinyoung said, staring down at Mark's member. “If you want to make sure that they have less of a chance of choking you though, hold down their hips so they can barely move them, or else they’ll buck up and you’ll have dick straight in your throat… unless that’s what you like.”

Jinyoung said the last part in a lower tone, sending chills through Mark.

Jinyoung licked his lips, bending down closer to Mark's crotch. “You’re lucky though, you get to have the full experience…”

Mark tensed, too excited to have any sort of reaction besides staring down at the other, wainting impatiently for his mouth.

So… the main question is, would you like to cum once... or twice?” He whispered, looking up at Mark through those dark impure eyes.

Mark's breath caught in his throat and a choked moan came out of him. Jinyoung hadn’t even touched him, yet just the younger’s words had Mark's breath quickening and dick twitching in his hand.

Jinyoung chuckled at the reaction, his mouth now mere centimeters from Mark's member. “I’ll assume that means twice…” he said, before licking a stripe up Marks dick.

Mark groaned, his hips already bucking up into the warmth of Jinyoung's mouth. Jinyoung only briefly swirled his tongue around the head of Mark's dick before completely swallowing Mark down, flattening his tongue along the shaft. Jinyoung bobbed his head slowly, looking up at a Mark through his eyelashes as the elder writhed against the sheets. Mark looked down and caught Jinyoung's gaze, only making him buck his hips up into Jinyoung's mouth again, and the latter barely flinched.

“Holy _shit_ …” Mark whispered to himself, even though it was loud enough for Jinyoung to hear it. He closed his eyes, too enthralled in the feeling to keep them open.

Jinyoung quickly removed himself from Mark's dick, tapping Mark to get his attention. “Hey, look at me. Watch me pleasure you, so next time you’ll know what to do.”

Mark opened his eyes again and looked down, and Jinyoung never broke eye contact with the elder as he went back to sucking. Part of Mark wanted to learn how to do it so he could be able to give Jinyoung the same amount of pleasure he was feeling, but another part of him felt that Jinyoung just had a kink for Mark watching him do something so dirty.

Mark didn’t realize how noisy blowjobs were, but all that filled the room was sounds of slurping and Mark's whimpering. Mark felt himself tipping towards the edge again, gripping onto the sheets as his body started to tremble. He started moaning, and Jinyoung's pace got quicker as he felt Mark's hands tangle in his hair. Jinyoung held Mark's hips down as he sucked harder, his other hand pumping the bottom part of Mark's length.

“J-Jinyoung, oh my _god_ , Jinyoung I’m g-gonna-... Jinyoung~” Mark cried out, trying to warn the younger of his incoming release.

Jinyoung got the warning, popping off of Mark's dick and just jerking it quickly the rest of the way until Mark was covering himself with the white substance. He gripped onto Jinyoung's wrist as he came, the younger’s hand still pumping him through his orgasm. Mark's body convulsed as he was emptied of his liquids, small whimpers and whines emitting from him.

Once he seemed to have finished, Jinyoung released his member and examined his hand that Mark had also painted white. Mark noticed Jinyoung staring at his hand, and he suddenly felt bad for making such a mess.

“I’m s-sorry, I tried to w-warn you in ti- “ Mark couldn’t even finish his sentence as he was caught off guard by Jinyoung licking his fingers of the fluid that had spilled on them.

Mark couldn’t even speak, his eyes were wide as he watched Jinyoung clean his hand of Mark's cum with his tongue, and he already felt his dick twitching once again. Jinyoung looked at Mark as he licked the last of if off his fingers, smirking at the elder's shocked expression.

“You taste good.” Jinyoung said as he finished it up.

Mark somehow choked out a response. “W-Why did you…”

Jinyoung shrugged, answering the half asked question. “I just don’t mind it. Yours tastes the best out of any of the ones I’ve tasted.”

Mark didn’t know if he should be jealous of the fact that Jinyoung has seemed to have had his share of intimate time with someone before him, or if he should feel special because of the complement. Either way though, Mark was still shocked by the action, and he was already becoming hard again.

Jinyoung looked down and noticed Mark's half hard length, reaching down and pumping it to it's full length. “You still want to continue?” He asked.

Mark nodded eagerly, even though it was a bit too late to ask that question since Mark was already fully hard again. He watched as Jinyoung stood up and removed his own pants, his untouched erection springing out of its constraints. Mark couldn’t help but stare at it. He wondered if it was weird to think someone’s genitals was pretty, because he really liked the look of Jinyoung's member. It wasn’t a bad length when erect, and the fact that it hadn’t been touched yet made it glow a pinkish color, contrasting from the rest of Jinyoung's light skin complexion. Mark wanted to touch it, but he was afraid to, so he just watched as Jinyoung climbed back on the bed and straddled him.

Jinyoung aligned their naked erections and grinded them together while the younger brought two fingers to his mouth, catching Mark a bit off guard with the sudden action. Mark groaned, his own hips rolling up against Jinyoung's as he watched the younger suck on his fingers. Mark couldn’t help himself from grabbing Jinyoung's hips and pulling the younger down as Mark rolled his hips up, increasing the friction between their precum soaked erections.

“M-Mark...there’s more I have to t-teach you…” Jinyoung tried to said between pants and soft moans.

Mark barely heard him, still grinding their members together until Jinyoung removed the elder's hands from his hips and stopped moving. Mark whined at the cease of movement, but then he got distracted by Jinyoung pulling his fingers out of his mouth, a line of saliva connecting them.

Jinyoung breathed in deeply a few times, trying to get himself together. “Um… okay, so this part is important.” He started.

Jinyoung showed Mark his wet fingers. “The wetness is _really_ important. This whole part I’m about to show you _must_ be done if you want painless sex. It makes it wide enough and slick enough to slide your dick into me a bit easier.”

Mark nodded, paying attention as if he were in class, which he technically was. Mr.Park’s Sex Ed definitely had a ring to it.

“So… you start with your pointer finger… well actually you can start with pretty much any finger, but the pointer finger makes the most sense.” Jinyoung explained. “So usually, you’re supposed to use lube, but I don’t have any, and I’m sure _you_ don’t have any… I mean, Youngjae might have some, but he and Jaebum are freaks, they probably stuck the bottle in their ass or something.”

Mark couldn’t help but giggle at that, not even denying if that was true. He’d rather use lube that he knows where it came from rather than their freaky roommates.

“Anyway, you shouldn’t do this for the first time without lube, but I’m desperate, and I want you inside me, so we’re gonna make an exception.” Jinyoung said.

Mark really was sick and tired of Jinyoung saying these things that makes him go insane. He felt his body grow hotter at the thought of being inside Jinyoung, and he could barely wait at this point.

Jinyoung stuck his fingers back in his mouth, wetting them again before pulling them out. “Um… I’m gonna turn around so you can see what I’m doing… just watch, okay?”

Mark nodded, and Jinyoung spun around, bending forward with his ass up in Marks face. Mark didn’t expect this position, and all he saw was Jinyoung's puckering hole in his face and his leaking erection dangling between his legs. Mark couldn’t help but reach out and squeeze Jinyoung's cheeks, the two plush pillows of fat right there in his face was almost impossible to ignore. Jinyoung looked back at Mark, groaning as the elder massaged his ass. Mark quickly removed his hand from Jinyoung's ass and took in a sharp breath as Jinyoung's hand reached behind him and started circling his entrance.

“S-So… you d-don’t want to just enter right away… get it a little w-wet first.” Jinyoung said, his voice already straining as he tried to talk while touching his sensitive entrance.

Mark swallowed hard, watching as Jinyoung's finger gently push in to the entrance, Jinyoung's hole easily swallowing up his finger. Mark felt his throat go dry as he saw Jinyoung's erection leak a dollop of precum as his finger entered.

“...A-And then, y-you… push it in… and it feels...warm and squishy…” Jinyoung said, trying his best to talk, but he was too busy thrusting his finger in and out of himself.

Mark was in a trance watching Jinyoung's hole swallow his finger and then come back out. All he could imagine was himself in Jinyoung's hole, swallowing up his dick, then coming back out just to repeat the motion again.

Jinyoung sat up and turned back around so that he was straddling Mark again, still with his fingers shoved up his ass. Jinyoung was moaning softly, his unoccupied hand gripping onto Mark's wrist and guiding the elder's hand to his mouth. Jinyoung took Mark's fingers into his mouth, sucking and moaning around them as his own fingers worked him open. Mark watched him do so, his throat going dry as he felt his arousal spike and his dick twitched again.

Not long after though, Jinyoung was guiding Mark's hand around the curve of his ass to his hole.

“You’re turn…” Jinyoung gasped as he pulled his own fingers out to allow Mark's to enter.

Mark looked a bit nervous, afraid that he might hurt the younger or mess up.

Jinyoung gave him a warm smile, leaning down to peck Mark on the lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you know if you’re doing something wrong, just trust me.”

Mark gulped, nodding before allowing Jinyoung to guide his fingers to his hole. He did what Jinyoung did at first, circling around the area once he’d found the entrance. He was afraid to push his finger in though, so he kept lightly touching the sensitive area.

“Mark j-just push it in…” Jinyoung said, reaching behind him and helping Mark shove his finger in.

Jinyoung gasped, pushing back onto Mark's finger. The elder froze, watching Jinyoung's reactions to see if they were good or not.

“K-Keep going, you’re doing good…” Jinyoung said, cheering Mark on through breathless pants.

Once Mark figured out that he was doing something right, he pushed the digit in a bit deeper. Jinyoung, whimpered, biting down on his lip as Mark pushed his finger knuckle deep.

“Jinyoung I pushed it in as far is it could go…” Mark said nervously, not sure exactly what to do next.

“Okay… j-just push it in and out… it sh-should be easy…” Jinyoung said.

Mark complied, pulling his finger out a bit and pushing it back in. Soft noises came from Jinyoung who clutched onto Mark's shoulders as the elder fingered him. The movement became easier and Mark was a bit less nervous as he was able to pleasure Jinyoung with just his one finger.

“Mark… t-try p-putting a s-second one in…” Jinyoung said in a whimper.

Mark carefully tried entering a second one, feeling Jinyoung's hole easily accept another finger. Jinyoung whined needily, pressing back against Mark's fingers that was stretching his hole.

“M-Move them… do what you were doing before… j-just occasionally widen you f-fingers and m-make a scissor symbol with them to s-stretch me w-wider…” Jinyoung instructed.

Mark did exactly what he was told, thrusting two fingers into Jinyoung and scissoring inside the younger, stretching his walls to accommodate for Mark's length later. Jinyoung's moans became a bit more frequent, as Mark thrusted in, his body pushing back against the elders fingers to get as much pleasure from the motion as possible. Mark watched as Jinyoung's facial expression changed with each sensation that ran through his body.

“Yes… yes just like that…” Jinyoung panted out. “N-Now try c-curling your fingers up…”

Mark thrusted a few more times before trying what Jinyoung suggested. He kept doing it, but nothing seemed to have visibly changed. Jinyoung was still softly moaning like he had been basically the whole time.

“Jinyoung I did it and nothing happened…” Mark said, feeling as if he messed something up.

“T-That’s okay b-baby… it sometimes t-takes a minute to f-find…” Jinyoung said, reassuring Mark with the pet name. “T-Try again…”

Mark tried again, realizing that he was supposed to be looking for something. He didn’t know what exactly he was searching for, or where it was, but he was determined to find it. He tried curling his fingers multiple times in multiple places, to no avail. He finally tried to push his fingers a bit deeper, curling them once more, and Jinyoung suddenly jolted, his back arching as he whimpered loudly. Mark froze, unsure of what just happened.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Mark quickly asked, about to remove his fingers.

“No! No, you didn’t hurt me baby, do it again, please do it again.” Jinyoung begged.

Mark didn’t ask questions, he just followed Jinyoung's instruction and repeated what he did before, the younger moaning as he pushed back onto Mark's fingers.

“T-That’s my p-prostate… if you touch it… it f-feels _really_ good…” Jinyoung explained as he panted.

Mark realized that’s why Jinyoung reacted the way he did, and he smiled a bit at the fact that he was able to pleasure the younger so much. Mark wanted to hear and see Jinyoung moan and react like that more, so he kept brushing his fingers over Jinyoung's prostate, the younger mewling loudly as he did so.

“Yes! _Fuck yes_ Mark! J-Just like that… you’re doing so w-well…” Jinyoung moaned, kissing Mark's face as the elder continued to abuse his prostate.

Mark moved his fingers around, wondering how much pressure he can apply before Jinyoung couldn’t take anymore. He tried it, watching the younger’s reaction to his fingers massaging his prostate. With his other hand, he reached in between Jinyoung's legs and tried pumping his member as well, wanting to see how the younger would react. Jinyoung moaned loudly, his body rocking back onto Mark's fingers and his member pouring precum from the tip.

“Mark… Mark I… I need you.. I need you inside of me right now Mark oh my _fuck_ …” Jinyoung whined needily, the elder mercilessly playing with the younger.

Mark liked watching Jinyoung mewl desperately from his touch, but he wanted to be inside Jinyoung just as bad as Jinyoung wanted him inside, so he pulled his fingers out, allowing a few moments for Jinyoung to catch his breath.

“Holy shit Mark, I almost came…” Jinyoung stated in amazement and pride.

Mark grinned. “I’m glad I’m doing well.”

Jinyoung leaned in for a quick kiss to Mark's lips before leaning back and looking down at the elder. “You ready?” He asked.

Mark vigorously nodded his head, wanting to be inside the younger already.

“Okay, so this part you're probably more familiar with, but like I said before you should use lube.” Jinyoung said as he spit on his hand and coated Mark's member with it. “It might be a bit tight right now, but we should purchase some lube in the future if we’re gonna be doing this regularly.”

Mark thought about doing “this” with Jinyoung regularly. He couldn’t imagine it, it seems too good to be true, but then again, Jinyoung was currently on top of Mark getting ready to sit on his dick, which also seems to good to be true, but it was reality.

Jinyoung took in a deep breath. “You ready?” He asked Mark again, probably just making sure the elder knew what was to come.

“Yes, Nyoungie I’ve been ready.” Mark said, desperate for Jinyoung to hurry up.

The younger chucked. “Okay, I’m just making sure. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Jinyoung pumped Mark's dick a few times before lifting himself up over it. He hovered above Mark for a split second before slowly lowering himself down. He guided Mark's erection to his waiting hole, Mark watching as just the head entered, completely swallowed up by Jinyoung. The heat was incredibly intense, feeling Jinyoung's walls already squeezing around him. He looked up to Jinyoung's face, which was scrunched up in concentration as he lowered himself onto Mark.

Jinyoung needed to pause for a minute, hissing as he felt Mark's length stretch and fill him completely up. Mark noticed the younger struggling a bit, so he rubbed his thigh as a means of encouragement, and Jinyoung continued on down, until he was completely sitting on the elder. Jinyoung needed another minute to adjust to Mark's size, even though the elder wasn’t huge, it was still enough to stretch Jinyoung a tad bit farther than he was used to.

“Nyoungie… it's so warm, you’re so tight and _warm_ …” Mark said almost in awe, as if he didn’t expect Jinyoung to be so warm inside.

Jinyoung nodded, still waiting a moment to get himself together. “I-I’m going t-to m-move soon, okay?”

“Take your time, it’s okay don’t rush, please.” Mark urged, not wanting Jinyoung to feel pressured to do something if he wasn’t ready to.

Jinyoung shook his head. “I’m f-fine… j-just needed to adjust to y-you…”

Jinyoung then leaned forward, placing his hands on both sides on Mark's head as he rotated his hips, soft pants from the younger ghosting over Mark's face. Jinyoung felt incredible around Mark, his warm walls clenching every now and again driving the elder crazy.

“Mark… p-put y-your hands h-here…” Jinyoung said, grabbing the elder's hands and placing them on his hips.

Mark didn’t mind the placement of his hands on Jinyoung's hips, the feeling natural to him. Jinyoung then, without warning, lifted his hips slowly, and brought them back down again on Mark's length. Mark groaned, feeling the drag of Jinyoung's walls around his erection. He didn’t know how long he would last, because he already felt the coiling in his stomach begin for his second orgasm and Jinyoung repeated the motion, lifting himself up, then dropping back down.

“Oh _fuck_ , Jinyoung you feel _so good_ …” Mark said in awe, still not believing that it was possible to be pleasured so much.

Jinyoung looked as if he was in pure heaven, his eyes closed and head tilted back as he practically fucked himself on Mark's dick. Once the younger got used to the feeling, he started craving more, moving his hips a bit faster than before. Mark's grip on Jinyoung's hips became tighter as the younger moved a bit faster, drawing out a few moans from Mark. Jinyoung was whimpering softly as he started to feel Mark's length hitting just the right spots inside.

It took Jinyoung no time to start bouncing on Mark's member, a skin slapping sound echoing through the room as he did so. Jinyoung was moaning a bit louder, and Mark felt him clenching more often around him. Mark gasped at a certain movement Jinyoung did, his hips bucking up into the younger who was slamming himself down onto Mark at the same time. Jinyoung moaned, his eyelashes fluttering as his body shook from pleasure.

“Mark, _fuck_ , Mark you’re so good, oh my god…” Jinyoung moaned as Mark's hips thrusted up into the younger, meeting him as he slammed down onto Mark.

Mark moaned as it seemed like Jinyoung became tighter around him, and as precum leaked out of his erection, the slide became much easier and Mark could thrust up into the younger faster. Mark gripped Jinyoung's hips and pulled the younger down harder to meet with his thrusts. Jinyoung's mouth was hanging open as he felt the speed increase, and when he adjusted himself just the right way so that Mark was hitting his prostate, Jinyoung nearly lost it.

Mark was surprised at the younger’s suddenly loud and frequent moans, but he loved the sounds either way, and he tried his best to keep them coming. Jinyoung was a mess, but he was Mark's mess, as he quickly bounced on Mark's dick, chasing his climax. Mark could feel Jinyoung's legs shaking, but the younger continued on just as strong, meeting Mark's thrusts just as he had been the whole time. Mark felt himself nearing his end as well, just thrusting up harder to meet Jinyoung's needs. Mark looked up at Jinyoung, watching the younger ride him to release.

“Nyoungie y-your so pretty… Nyoungie’s beautiful w-when he’s like this…” Mark stuttered, not exactly sure why that came out of his mouth, but he was glad he said it, as Jinyoung moaned louder from the compliment.

“Mark, t-touch me, touch me Mark, baby I’m so close…” Jinyoung moaned, guiding one of Mark's hands to his erection.

Mark carefully wrapped his hand around Jinyoung's member and pumped it quickly, the younger moaning erotically as he was just on the edge of cumming. Jinyoung's hips stuttered as he reached his end, Mark milking the younger of his liquids that spilled out of him onto the elders stomach. He came with a whine of Mark's name, which made Mark feel like he was just on the cusp of his own climax.

Even though Jinyoung had already came, he clenched around Mark's dick and bounced faster, ignoring the feeling of oversensitivity and focusing on binging Mark to his end. Mark groaned, his nails digging into Jinyoung's skin as the younger brought him over the edge.

“J-Jin… N-Nyoungie, I’m- _fuck_... I’m c-close… y-you should g-get off…” Mark tried to warn, but this time Jinyoung ignored him, continuing to move his hips.

Mark gasped as he felt himself cumming into Jinyoung's warmth, his eyes fluttering as he reached his end. His hips bucked and his body shuddered all throughout, and Jinyoung just rode him out until Mark was whimpering from oversensitivity. Mark was shocked at the fact Jinyoung let him spew his liquids inside of his already abused hole, but it only made the younger even more attractive. Jinyoung leaned forward and kissed Mark deeply, the two panting heavily into each other’s hot mouths.

Jinyoung slowly lifted himself off of Mark, the elder's white substance dripping out along with his spent member. Mark didn’t know what this feeling he had was, but he felt so content, with Jinyoung laying on top of him, and the smell of the best sex Mark had even experienced in the air, he couldn’t feel more relaxed and happy. He pressed kisses all over Jinyoung's face, thanking the younger in between each of them.

Jinyoung looked completely fucked out, his face flushed and eyelids drooping closed as he looked exhausted, but happy. His hand caressed Mark's chest as he took a moment to get himself together, knowing that they had to clean up soon. Mark snuggled the younger against him, not wanting to move from their positions.

“Did you learn a lot?” Jinyoung asked against Mark's chest, his voice coming out weak and barely audible, but Mark could still hear him.

“I learned so much, thank you.” Mark said, kissing Jinyoung's forehead.

“You did amazing, I’m so proud.” Jinyoung mumbled lazily.

“You did amazing too. You’re amazing.” Mark said, his hand rubbing Jinyoung's back.

“Now is the part that no one likes, the cleaning.” Jinyoung said, regretfully pulling away from Mark's warm body to clean up.

“No, Nyoungie come back.” Mark said, pulling the younger’s wrist.

“Mark I told you, no one likes this part but it has to be done. I’d rather not have dry crusty cum inside me…” Jinyoung said.

Mark blushed, almost immediately forgetting about that. “Sorry, I tried to warn you but- “

Jinyoung cut him off. “Mark, if I didn’t want you to cum inside me, I would have moved. I wanted all of it, everything you could give me.”

Mark was speechless, his heart stopping and his dick twitching once again from Jinyoung's words. He just sat there and watched the younger smirk at him and walk over to get a tissue, cleaning himself off of the sticky substance. Mark was still frozen on the bed, and didn’t really move until Jinyoung started cleaning him, his caring instincts taking over.

“Jinyoung I can do it, you don’t have to.” Mark said, trying to take the tissue from the younger.

“No, just sit there. I’ll clean you up.” Jinyoung insisted.

Mark leaned back, allowing Jinyoung to do what he wanted. “This is why they call you the mom, you insist on taking care of others…”

Jinyoung shrugged. “I don’t mind. I like feeling needed.”

Mark let him be, since Jinyoung was content with being a motherly figure, then Mark wouldn’t take that away from him. He watched Jinyoung wipe up as much of the mess that he could before he moved away and threw out the tissues he used.

“We should shower to get the rest off. You can go first.” Jinyoung said, sitting on the bed.

“Um…” Mark started, looking away from Jinyoung with a blush on his face.

“What?” Jinyoung asked, staring at the elder as he waited for him to answer.

“Can… can we shower together?” Mark asked a bit shyly.

Jinyoung chuckled. “If that’s what you want.”

Jinyoung stood and held out his hand to Mark, who took it and and they walked bare naked down to the bathroom. They turned on the water and showered together, sharing small kisses as they helped each other wash. They took quite a long shower, even though Mark likes short ones, he didn’t mind being in there forever with Jinyoung.

Once they were cleaned, they helped dry each other off, before walking back down to Mark's room. Both of them were exhausted, as sex is a tiring activity, and they barely had the energy to do anything else. Mark dressed himself and Jinyoung wanted to wear his clothes, picking a huge sweater that was even too big for Jinyoung and some shorts. Mark liked seeing Jinyoung dressing in his clothing, thinking he looked so cute in it.

They changed the messy bed sheets and nearly collapsed on the bed, cuddling up together for a good midday nap. Mark wrapped himself around the other, who hugged him back, and they both easily fell asleep happily in each other’s arms.

—————————————————

Much later that day, Mark woke up to sounds in other parts of the dorm, and he realized that some of the other members must have returned. He looked over to Jinyoung who was still asleep, looking like a glowing angel, and Mark couldn't help but press a kiss to his cheek. The younger didn’t wake up, but he sort of smiled in his sleep, which made Mark smile in return. Mark's stomach suddenly started growling, meaning that he should go find something to eat. He knew though, that Jinyoung would want to eat with him, so he gently woke the younger up, immediately kissing him on the lips once his eyes opened.

“You should get up, or else you’ll be awake all night from sleeping all day.” Mark said.

“I don’t care, as long as I’m with you.” Jinyoung mumbled.

“Oh god, how can you be so corny already and you just woke up?” Mark asked as Jinyoung slowly sat up.

“It’s a gift I’ve had since birth.” Jinyoung said as he stretched his body, a few bones cracking from the lack of movement for hours.

Mark chuckled at the younger, hearing his stomach growl too. “We didn’t eat lunch, and both of our stomachs are mad about it.”

“We should go shove food in our mouth.” Jinyoung said, immediately standing from the thought of eating.

“I think some of the others are back, just so you know.” Mark said, standing along with him.

“Aw, it was fun being alone together while it lasted.” Jinyoung said with a wink, making Mark blush a bit at the reminder of earlier.

The two left Mark's room and headed towards the kitchen, hearing the sound of voices from that direction. Youngjae and Yugyeom had returned, along with BamBam.

“Oh, couple number two has finally shown up.” Yugyeom said.

“Couple number two?” Mark repeated as a question.

“Yeah, Youngjae and Jaebum are couple number one, so you guys are couple number two.” Yugyeom explained.

Mark rolled his eyes and ignored the younger. “I’m hungry.” He stated.

“You should eat Jinyoung's ass then.” BamBam teased, making Mark almost trip and fall over himself.

“Shut up.” Jinyoung snapped, glancing st Mark briefly before looking away and blushing.

We have leftovers from lunch, but it’s almost dinner time so maybe you wanna wait…” Youngjae said.

“No, I’m hungry now. Gimme leftovers.” Mark said, taking the bag from Youngjae and opening it.

“So, what’d you guys do all day?” Youngjae asked.

Mark froze and looked at Jinyoung who was staring back at Mark. Neither of them knew what to say, so there was an awkwardly long pause.

“Um… just, hung out. Nothing really exciting…” Jinyoung finally said, looking at Mark with a red face.

“They totally fucked.” BamBam commented.

“I agree, look at the hickies on their necks.” Yugyeom said.

“Shut the hell up, you guys are annoying.” Jinyoung scolded.

Mark blushed. “Anyway, like he said, we didn’t really do much.”

Youngjae looked between them, suspicion in his eye before he shrugged. “Okay.”

Mark and Jinyoung looked at each other and chuckled, only the two of them knowing what actually went down while the others were away. Although, Mark knew that by the way Youngjae smirked at the two, he knew exactly what happened, since him and Jaebum have probably done it countless times as well.

“They’re so whipped for each other~” BamBam cooed as he saw the two staring at each other.

Jinyoung quickly kissed Mark on the cheek before taking the leftover food Youngjae gave them and sitting down to eat it. Mark blushed, wanting to return the affection but was too embarrassed to do it in front of the others. He was surprised that Jinyoung even did that in front of them, knowing how he wasn’t one to really show much affection in front of others either.

That made Mark feel special though. The fact that Jinyoung steps out of his comfort zone for him makes Mark's heart swell, and the least he could do is do the same for Jinyoung. So, Mark bent down to where Jinyoung was sitting and turned the younger’s head to face his own, placing a meaningful kiss on his lips. Jinyoung was wide eyed and he tried to push Mark away from him in embarrassment, but he ended up just melting into Mark's lips.

  1. The other three members gathered in the kitchen cooed at them, and even with all the teasing they do, they realized just how special their relationship was.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little over 10,000 words of mostly smut gjsjansdndjc I'm crying what is wrong with me.
> 
> My longest chapters are always the smuttiest I guess ;_;
> 
> Anyway, this is their first time doin the dirty and I hope I met everyones needs!! Idk if I released all the chapters or if I'm releasing them one by one, but either way, I wrote multiple smuts for those who wanted it a certain way.
> 
> I tried my hardest to write their first time in a way where Mark is top but also bottom, and Jinyoung is bottom but also top, but idk if I successfully did that nandjdjsmsnfskams rip me 
> 
> I tried to make it as equal as possible and I'm sorry if you dont think I did :((
> 
> I hope it was okay tho and if u just wanted Mark top or Jinyoung top, then the next two chapters should hopefully satisfy you (maybe??) Idkkk lol


	13. 13

“Beautiful” Mark said, kissing Jinyoung's forehead, the younger giggling as he did so.

“Amazing" he continued, pressing his lips to the younger's cheek.

“Wonderful.” a kiss on Jinyoung's jaw.

“ _Sexy_.” a light peck on Jinyoung's lips.

“Sexy?” Jinyoung repeated as a question.

“Mmhm.” Mark hummed, confirming what he said. “ _Very_ sexy.” Kissing Jinyoung's lips again.

Jinyoung blushed, looking away from the elder who was hovering shirtless above him as he laid back on his bed. Mark was being especially affectionate that night, play fighting Jinyoung down onto the bed and listing off the things he loved about the younger while leaving kisses everywhere. Of course Jinyoung didn't mind it though, as he enjoyed this side of Mark a lot.

Jinyoung bit his lip, staring up at Mark under lowered lids. “You mean it?”

Mark smirked, knowing what type of game Jinyoung liked to play when they'd get intimate. He acts as if he’s unsure if Mark actually means what he says, but really he’s just craving more complements and attention, which Mark had plenty of to give.

“Of course, you’re my sexy baby~ “ Mark cooed, bending down to nibble at Jinyoung's ear.

“Really?” Jinyoung mumbled, knowing that the question was unnecessary to ask, but he just wanted to hear Mark talk more.

“You already know this, Nyoungie…” Mark said with a light chuckle, trailing his mouth down Jinyoung's jaw.

“I just want to make sure…” Jinyoung said, his breath hitching when Mark moved down to his neck.

“No, you want to hear me talk more about how lovely you are.” Mark said, already knowing what’s in Jinyoung's mind.

“No…” Jinyoung said, not really convincingly.

Mark chuckled. “Yes you do, I know what you like Nyoungie.”

“Do you really?” Jinyoung questioned, a soft whimper leaving his lips as Mark sucked on his sweet spot between his neck and shoulder.

“Of course I do. You obviously like it when I kiss you here a lot.” Mark said, gesturing to the spot that he had just been suckung on.

“And you like when I leave marks in places no one else can see, because it reminds you of how good I make you feel… right?” Mark said, trailing kissed down to where the collar of Jinyoung's shirt was.

Jinyoung nodded his head. “W-What else do I like?” he asked, as if he needed a reminder.

Mark smirked down at the younger because of the question. “You like it when I touch you softly like this…” he said, running his fingers under Jinyoung shirt and pushing it up, allowing his fingertips to run gently over his skin.

Jinyoung shuttered at the feeling, his body heating up from every touch he felt from Mark. Mark liked watching the younger’s reaction to the things he did, knowing that he’s doing a good job by the facial expressions and noises Jinyoung releases.

“You also _love_ when I play with your nipples…” Mark said, circling his thumbs over the sensitive nubs on Jinyoung's chest.

Jinyoung bit his bottom lip as Mark rolled his nipples under his thumb, the sensation ignitighting a desire for more within him. Mark was right, he definitely did love when the elder touched him this way, and he loved it even more when Mark used his tongue to stimulate the pink nubs on his chest.

He also loved the way Mark refused to break eye contact, staring holes into Jinyoung through his dark and lustful eyes as he devoured the man under him. Jinyoung could barely keep his eyes on Mark as he kept looking at him like that, making the younger even more aroused than he had been before.

Mark continued on down his torso, leaving kisses and sucking hickeys into Jinyoung's soft skin, looking down at the masterpiece of reds and purples that he left in his wake. Mark had reached his pants, his fingers teasingly playing in the waistband of them as he crawled back up to Jinyoung's face.

“You also like when I make you beg for what you want, even though you say you don't.” Mark said, pressing his lips to Jinyoung's as he tugged on his pants.

“No, I don't…” Jinyoung mumbled, immediately lifting himself up to help the removal of his pants.

“We’ll see about that.” Mark said with a smug smile.

Mark moved back down to Jinyoung's lower half, slowly pulling off his pants the rest of the way. He ran his hands up the youngers legs, pushing up his boxers to reveal his thighs. Jinyoung watched in anticipation, chewing on his lower lip. Mark placed small kisses on the revealed parts of Jinyoung's thighs. He massaged the parts he didn’t have his mouth on with his hands, being sure to give and unexpected squeeze and nibble to jolt Jinyoung's nerves. He sucked dark bruises on the inner parts, hearing Jinyoung whimper softly under him.

Mark's fingers dipped into Jinyoung's boxers, tugging on them lightly. Jinyoung wanted them off already, his hard on straining against the confinements of the clothing. Mark rubbed circles into Jinyoung's hips, kissing the area just above his boxers, slowly moving downwards, the boxers moving with him. He carefully pulled them over Jinyoung's erection, his hard member springing up to rest on his lower stomach. Mark stared at it, licking his lips as if he were eager to taste it. Jinyoung could barely stand to watch that, his heart almost stopping at witnessing Marks hungry stare.

Instead of doing what they both desired though, Mark continued teasing, spreading apart Jinyoung's legs wider just to suck on the part of his thighs right near his erection. Jinyoung groaned, his hips rolling as he desperately wanted Mark's mouth on his member. He wanted to hate how much Mark was teasing him, but it only excited him more.

“Mark, please…” Jinyoung whined.

Mark looked up at him through his eyelashes, a smirk on his face. “I thought you didn’t like to beg.”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I-I’m not begging… I’m j-just politely asking…”

“Aka, begging.” Mark said. “Tell me Nyoungie, tell me what you want.”

Jinyoung let out a shaky breath as Mark's voice seemed to have drop an octave lower, his body completely ready for anything pleasurable at this point. “I w-want your mouth on me…”

Mark hummed in response, squeezing Jinyoung's thigh. “You do, huh? That would be nice, wouldn’t it…”

Jinyoung nodded his head vigorously. “Yes, it would be very nice, if you don’t mind…”

“Oh no, I don’t mind at all, I’m just not sure if I should do it or not…” he said, leaving another kiss on Jinyoung's inner thigh.

“W-Why? Why not?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark shrugged. “I don't know, just because.”

Jinyoung furrowed his brows. “What kind of answer is that? That's not a good reason at all!”

Mark laughed. “I know, I just wanted to mess with you.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, but only made it half way because Mark was already wrapping his lips around the younger's erection. Mark was a bit self conscious about his inexperience with blowjobs, as his first time giving one wasn't that long ago, but Jinyoung has taught him enough to at least do a mediocre job. Even if it wasn't that great, Jinyoung always acted like it was the best blowjob he's ever received, which at least made Mark feel good.

He still couldn't take Jinyoung that deep, his gag reflex not allowing it, but he used his hand to cover the rest of it that he couldn't reach with his mouth. Even still Jinyoung was emitting soft whimpers as Mark started to bob his head, sucking the younger's length as best as he could. Jinyoung bucked his hips up at something Mark did with his tongue, accidentally making the elder need to pull away and cough.

“Oh, I'm sorry…” Jinyoung said between pants, sitting up to check on the elder.

“It’s okay…” Mark said, his voice a bit hoarse which only turned Jinyoung on more.

“It felt really good, I didn't mean to do that…” Jinyoung said.

Mark shook his head. “I couldn't have been that good, I'm not as experienced as you.”

“No seriously, I think you've improved, it felt really great.” Jinyoung confessed.

“Really?” Mark asked, his mood lightening up a bit.

Jinyoung bit his bottom lip and nodded, looking away as Mark's lustful look suddenly returned.

“I'm glad.” Mark said as he pushed the younger back down, hovering over him before pressing a kiss to his lips.

“And you’ve gotten more confident…” Jinyoung mumbled against his lips.

“Have I?” Mark asked, kissing along Jinyoung's jaw.

“Mhm. You’re actually taking control without me having to guide you…” Jinyoung said, moving hair out of Mark's face.

“I just needed the basics, but I think I can handle this now.” Mark said, his hand snaking between them to wrap around Jinyoung's member.

Jinyoung let out a puff a breath, feeling Mark pump his dick at a steady pace that had Jinyoung gripping the bed. Mark's lips focused on kissing Jinyoung's while his hand focused on jerking the younger’s member, swallowing up his soft moans. Jinyoung slid his hand between their bodies too, undoing the front of Mark's pants to dip into his boxers and wrap his hand around Mark's length.

“You’re… wet…” Jinyoung whispered between pants, starting to pump Mark's erection as well.

Mark grunted in response, his own breathing quickening as Jinyoung pleasured him with his hand.

“D-Do you want me inside you tonight?” Mark asked, his mouth latching onto Jinyoung's neck.

Jinyoung groaned at the thought, of course wanting Mark to fill him up that night. Unfortunately though, he had to decline. “W-we can’t… we have a performance tomorrow a-and I have to be able to dance…”

Mark nipped his neck in disagreement, making Jinyoung softly yelp. “We can do it slowly, so that you can at least walk…”

Jinyoung chuckled before a moan, his unoccupied hand gripping onto Mark's shoulder. “We shouldn’t risk it… and I’m pretty sure you left too many marks already…”

“You can hide it with makeup, but for now I want to look at you like this.” Mark said.

They were both moaning and panting against each other, their hands quickening in speed. Jinyoung pulled Mark's pants down enough to fully pull his erection out, wrapping his hand around both of their lengths. Mark bit his bottom lip and groaned, the feeling of Jinyoung's warm member flush against his own driving him crazy. The younger quickly pumped them together, their hips bucking forward as they were both closing into their climax.

“M-Mark, your h-hand…” Jinyoung said, grabbing Mark's hand and placing it between them.

Mark grabbed onto their lengths along with Jinyoung, jerking his hand quickly up and down. Jinyoung suddenly started moaning louder, and Mark could tell that he was close. Jinyoung's back arched, his nails digging into Mark's shoulder as he hung on the edge of his orgasm. His hips bucked forward and his legs trembled, and Jinyoung wrapped his arms around Mark's neck as he came, a high pitched moan leaving him as his body convulsed through it.

Mark continued to pump them together through his orgasm, the younger whimpering and shuddering as he painted his stomach white. Mark was nearing his own climax, and once Jinyoung had came down from his high, he moved Mark’s hand away, pushing the elder onto his back. He bent down in between Mark's legs taking his member into his hand and guiding it to his mouth. Mark threw his head back as Jinyoung's warm mouth swallowed him whole, Jinyoung having the gift of no gag reflex, being able to take all of Mark.

Mark gripped the sheets and Jinyoung bobbed his head as he sucked Mark to his climax. The elder shuddered, his hips rolling up as he felt himself falling over the edge.

“J-Jinyoung, I’m g-gonna…” Mark tried to warn, but Jinyoung ignored it, holding Mark's hips steady as he brought Mark to his end.

Mark whined as he came, his hand tangling into Jinyoung's hair as the younger swallowed around him. Jinyoung continued to suck Mark into sensitivity, ignoring the ache in his jaw to make sure he finished everything Mark had to give.

He came up with a pop, and Mark groaned at the sight of Jinyoung licking his lips of his thick cum. Mark had never experienced Jinyoung swallowing all of his cum straight from his member before, and it had to be the most erotic thing he’d ever witness. Jinyoung climbed back up to him, pressing his lips to Mark's before licking into his mouth, allowing Mark to taste his own substance.

Mark pulled away not enjoying how it tasted all that much. “How can you swallow that?” He asked between pants.

Jinyoung shrugged. “You just become used to it. Since it’s yours though, it tastes pretty good to me.” He said, licking his lips slowly once again.

Mark felt his member twitch, wondering how Jinyoung could turn him on again when he just came moments ago. “You're so dirty…”

Jinyoung chuckled. “Well, my dirty side is a secret only you know of, so consider yourself lucky.”

Mark laughed. “Really? So you’ve only been this dirty with me?”

Jinyoung nodded, kissing Mark again. “Only you.”

Mark returned the kiss, the taste of his white liquid still on Jinyoung's tongue, but the warmth and softness of the younger’s lips overpowered it. They had to move from the position they were in at some point, even though they didn’t want to, but they couldn’t leave a mess everywhere. They cleaned up and realized that it was still early in the night and they hadn’t had dinner yet, so they dressed themselves and headed to the kitchen together.

Immediately upon seeing the couple, BamBam who was sitting and eating opened his mouth to say something.

“You guys are just as bad as these two.” He commented gesturing to Youngjae and Jaebum.

“Yeah, but their sex sounds better than Jaebum and Youngjae’s, no offense guys.” Jackson said, laughing as he got a glare from Jaebum.

“They started off quietly, but suddenly I just heard Jinyoung get _really_ loud…” Yugyeom added.

Jinyoung's cheeks were dusted pink, and he immediately turned to leave the room. Mark grabbed his arm though, not wanting the younger to leave him by himself with all the teasing.

“Guys don’t tease… we’re a normal couple too…” Mark said, his own face a bright red color.

“But then it isn’t fair to Jaebum and Youngjae who we tease all the time!” Yugyeom whined.

“Yeah! You guys deserve to go through what we go through, especially since Mark complained so much about us…” Youngjae said, shooting a glance at Mark.

“Guys, lets not tease them too much… I mean, they deserve to have a good time together too, right?” Jackson said, trying to defend them.

“Yeah, but we don’t need to _hear_ it, can’t you do it when we’re not home?” BamBam asked.

“At least one of you always home, unless we are all are out as a group, we barely get time alone…” Jinyoung said, walking over to get some food.

“Don't worry about them guys, they’re just upset that they don’t have anyone to make them horny, besides pornstars.” Jaebum said.

“Yeah, Mark was complaining about us until he got with Jinyoung, now he barely leaves his room when Jinyoung is in there.” Youngjae added.

“Shut up, we don’t just sit around and watch porn…” Yugyeom argued.

“Well, from what I heard, you’re _definitely_ not getting whatever Jinyoung got…” Jackson said.

“I didn’t _get_ anything! Just stop talking about it…” Jinyoung said, too embarrassed to stay in the room.

Mark watched him leave, frowning at the others for making him so uncomfortable. “Come on guys, you know Jinyoung isn’t that open about these types of things, stop teasing him, okay?”

“He’s right, let's not do it to the point where it makes them too uncomfortable.” Jaebum agreed.

“Aw, Mark being a responsible boyfriend!” Jackson cooed.

Mark looked to the floor, a bit embarrassed. “I just don’t want him to be upset…” he mumbled.

That didn’t help the situation though, as basically everyone said “Aww!” in unison.

"You guys are so sweet, I swear I have cavities just from looking at these couples." Jackson said.

Mark shrugged. "He's my... my boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, so why wouldn't I be sweet with him and protect him?"

Mark confidentially said the word boyfriend for the first time while referring to Jinyoung, and he tested the word out, not feeling awkward or weird at all. He felt almost proud to be able to say Jinyoung was his and only his, but he didn't want to get too excited about it, or the others would just tease him more.

“But… I seriously need to know, is the sex _really_ that good?” Jackson asked, looking between Jaebum, Youngjae, and Mark, who all have disturbed the others with their after dark activities.

“I think Jackson needs a significant other in his life to answer that question for him.” Yugyeom said while chucking.

“Well, if you know where I can find someone, _please_ let me know. I haven’t been in a relationship in years…” Jackson complained.

“Us neither!” BamBam said, referring to him and Yugyeom.

“Yeah, because no one _wants_ to be in a relationship with you two. At least Jackson is a pretty decent guy.” Jaebum said, getting a glare from the maknaes.

“Pretty decent? I'm like, the best guy ever, but no one wants me.” Jackson said with a shrug.

“There’s somebody out there for you, I just happened to find mine right across the hall.” Mark said, blushing as the others cooed at him.

Mark shook his head again, cursing himself for saying such corny things. Suddenly though, he felt a pair of hands cup his cheeks and his head was being turned to the side, where a pair of lips quickly met his own. It took only a few seconds for him to realize it was Jinyoung, who came out of nowhere to kiss him.

“Thank you.” The younger whispered against Mark's lips, before running back down the hall back to wherever he'd been hiding at.

Mark blinked a few times, needing a moment to absorb what just happened, realizing that Jinyoung had probably been listening and had heard everything he said. A blush quickly covered Mark's face as his fingers came up to lightly touch his lips.

“So cute!!!” Jackson yelled, nearly fanboying over the two.

Mark chuckled, wondering how he became so whipped for that adorable human being named Jinyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Mark top smut that yall want lol. With like, sprinkles of fluff. (I'm sorry it was so short sjdjsnsd)
> 
> Oh and this takes place a little bit later, I skipped time a bit because I had all this smut that would be weird to put all in the same day lol.


	14. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter :(((

“Mark, I want you right now.” Jinyoung stated, gripping the front of the elders shirt as he interrupted his video gaming.

“J-Jinyoung, seriously? But I'm playing my game…” Mark said, looking at the screen from the corner of his eye to make sure he doesn't lose.

Jinyoung took Mark's controller out of his hand, sliding it across the floor far away from them.

“What the fuck? Why'd you do that!?” Mark said, watching as his controller slid somewhere out of sight.

Jinyoung turned Mark's head back to face him, immediately pressing his lips to the elders. Mark was caught off guard, but he immediately got lost in the sensation Jinyoung's lips gave him. His hands ended up reaching into Jinyoung's hair, pulling the younger closer as they deepened their kiss. Jinyoung grabbed Mark's wrist, pushing him down to the couch and pinning him to it.

Mark was wide eyed, caught completely off guard. “W-What are you doing?” He asked.

“Just lay back, don’t worry about it.” Jinyoung said, quickly closing the distance between their lips once again.

It wasn’t hard at all for Mark to get caught up in Jinyoung's mouth again, loving the way he’d lightly tug on Marks lower lip with his teeth and licked his way into the elders mouth. Jinyoung sucked on Marks tongue, making the elder groan into his mouth. Jinyoung was fueled by every noise and reaction Mark gave.

Jinyoung's hand were occupied under Mark's shirt as his mouth was already occupied. They spread across the hidden skin under the fabric, feeling and tracing each muscle Mark had on his torso. Mark's shirt travelled up his body, and the elder didn’t even notice until he felt Jinyoung flick one of his nipples. He gasped and parted from the younger’s mouth, looking down at himself.

“J-Jinyoung we can’t do this here, not right on the couch…”  Mark whispered, realizing that they can’t be too loud and disturb the other members.

“I don’t care, I want you now.” Jinyoung stated, bending down to drag his tongue across Mark's nubs on his chest.

Mark shuddered, actually loving how Jinyoung didn’t pay any mind to the risks they faced doing what they were doing right there in the living room. Jinyoung sucked on Mark's nipples, paying equal attention to each one as his hands ran down Mark's back and down into his shorts, squeezing and kneading the tissue there. Mark's hips rolled up into Jinyoung's as he felt Jinyoung's hands massage his ass, both moaning at the contact their two hard members made.

Jinyoung trailed kisses down Mark's stomach, pulling on his shorts and boxers to reveal his erection that already was wet with precum. Jinyoung spread Mark's legs embarrassingly wide to leave kisses on his inner thigh, making the elder want to immediately close them.

“J-Jinyoung, this is exposing too much… “ Mark stuttered, the younger not caring though, as he took Mark's member into his hand and slowly pumped it while littering kisses on his thighs.

Mark's breath hitched as Jinyoung teasingly jerked his member slowly, only kitten licking the tip occasionally. Mark groaned as his hips bucked up, trying to get more friction from Jinyoung's hand, but the younger pinned his hips down, making him suffer the teasing ministrations. He felt Jinyoung spread precum around the head with his thumb, applying pressure to just the right places that had Mark squirming under him. Jinyoung climbed back up to Marks face, kissing him and rolling the elder's bottom lip between his teeth as he continued to jerk Mark's erection.

“J-Jinyoung, Jinyoung, s-stop…” Mark nearly moaned, but he remembered that he couldn’t be too loud.

Jinyoung left kisses on Mark's neck, ignoring Mark's desperate cries. He sucked the skin there, bruising it with just his lips, the patches shifting colors from pink to red to purple. Mark moaned a little bit louder when Jinyoung had found the sweet spot on his neck, too much pleasure coming from too many places.

“Jinyoung~” Mark moaned. “I can’t… I can’t… J-Jinyoung j-just...”

Mark couldn’t even get out what he was trying to say as he was too overwhelmed to think straight. He kept chanting Jinyoung name, trying to get the younger to stop the teasing, but he refused. Mark's hands balled up in the front of Jinyoung's shirt as he tried to keep himself quiet, yet Jinyoung's hand wrapped around his member and his mouth doing wonders on his skin was too much to handle to not moan aloud.

“Jinyoung _please_.” Mark whined, his legs trembling as Jinyoung allowed him to teeter on the edge of his climax.

“Not yet…” he whispered.

Mark whined, biting his lower lip as he tried not to be too loud while Jinyoung denied him from cumming. Jinyoung moved back down to Mark's lower half, placing his mouth so close, yet too far for Mark, to his member.

“J-Jinyoung, just- “ Mark cut himself off with a groan as Jinyoung swirled his tongue around the head of Mark's dick, which was already sensitive from not cumming.

Jinyoung watched as Mark became a mess under him, gripping the couch cushions as his breathing quickened. His back arched off the sofa as Jinyoung wrapped his lips around his member, sucking and bobbing his head slowly as his tongue worked around it. Mark's head pressed back into the couch, his mouth forming an “o" shape as he silently tried not to moan. Jinyoung was playing with him and he was growing desperate, wanting the younger to either just finish him off or to sit on his dick so he could fuck into Jinyoung until he reached his end. Jinyoung came up slowly, a lewd pop resonating through the room once his mouth disconnected with Mark's dick. Mark felt his erection twitch in Jinyoung's hand, wanting so bad to release.

Jinyoung leaned back over Mark and kissed him deeply, the elder being able to taste his bitter precum on Jinyoung's tongue.

“Jinyoung, w-what brought this on?” Mark asked once they parted, panting from overwhelming pleasure.

“I’m just really horny and couldn’t wait any longer for you… and I _really_ wanna fuck you right now…” Jinyoung mumbled as he pressed kisses along Mark's jaw.

Mark's eyes widened as his heart almost stopped from Jinyoung unusually dirty words. “W-What?”

Jinyoung smirked, grabbing Mark's hand. “Just let me take care of you, okay?”

Mark hesitated, not knowing exactly what Jinyoung had in mind, but he could make a good guess about it. He slightly nodded his head, still unsure, but once Jinyoung got the confirmation, he took Mark's hand to his mouth and wrapped his lips around two fingers, sucking on them hungrily.

Mark was reminded of the first time they did this, the way Jinyoung swirled his tongue around Mark's fingers throwing him back to the time Jinyoung carefully took him through the steps of having sex with a guy. It was different this time though, as they both were now more experienced, especially with each other, and Jinyoung definitely didn’t have such a dark stare in his eyes then as he did right now.

All Mark could really focus on was Jinyoung's hot, wet mouth and his tongue that he wished was back down on his dick instead of licking his fingers. Jinyoung pulled Mark's fingers out of his mouth, a line of spit connecting them in between. Mark wanted to hurry up and get to it since Jinyoung had riled him up so quickly, but the younger obviously had other plans.

Jinyoung carefully spread Mark's legs wider, bending down in between them and never breaking eye contact as he guided Mark's hand down in between his legs. Mark somewhat knew where this was going, and he was a bit nervous, pulling his hand back away from the area Jinyoung wanted him to put it.

Jinyoung gripped his wrist tightly, preventing Mark from being able to pull his hand away. “Just relax, trust me.” He whispered, slowly gliding Mark's hand back down in between his legs.

Jinyoung took one of Mark's wet fingers and slowly circled his entrance, the latter jolting at the feeling of his own finger there. Mark suddenly felt a flat wet feeling across his puckering hole, and he gasped, his body arching as he was struck with a new sensation. Jinyoung dragged his tongue over the entrance again, the spit from Mark's fingers not being enough to easily slide a digit in.

Jinyoung liked Mark's reaction, and licked his hole a few more times, getting soft cries from the elder who was tired of being teased at this point. He wanted to make sure it was slick enough for Mark to easily slide his finger in, so he took the extra precaution to use his tongue, which had Mark pushing himself back onto the warm wet muscle. Jinyoung then guided Mark's fingers back to his entrance, gently pushing the first digit in. Mark tensed from the new feeling, not sure what to do now that his finger was actually inside of him.

“Just do what you’d do to me. The only difference is that it’s yourself.” Jinyoung said, as if reading Mark's mind about his confusion.

Mark hesitantly continued to push his finger in, unable to really understand what he was feeling. He started to thrust his finger in and out of himself,  the sensation not feeling too bad, and it felt better as he got used to it. He wasn’t prepared though, for the second wet digit that joined his finger, it belonging to Jinyoung. Mark winced at the stretch, needing to stop and wait for a minute before Jinyoung slowly started to thrust his finger into Marks hole, watching as it swallowed his finger up almost hungrily.

Jinyoung littered kisses all over Mark's stomach as he pushed his finger deeper, removing Mark's hand away so that he could enter his own second digit. Mark clutched onto to couch as the weird feeling started to turn into pleasure, and suddenly it fell _really_ good. Soft whimpers fell from his lips as Jinyoung moved his fingers at an even pace inside of him.

Mark didn't think Jinyoung could make him feel any better than he already did, until he did something with his fingers and an intense wave of pleasure ran over Mark. Mark gasped, followed by a whine and some more gasps. One hand clutched onto the couch as the other grabbed Jinyoung's shoulder, his nails digging shallowly into the skin. Mark looked down and saw a smirking Jinyoung looking back at him from between his legs, and then he was hit with another intense sensation through his body that had him shaking and squirming.

Mark didn't know how he was supposed to be quiet when he felt like he couldn't do anything else but scream. He tried his best though, biting onto his own hand to keep his noises down. Jinyoung only made it worse for him though, as one hand was thrusting in and out of Mark's hole, the other wrapped around Mark's erection again, along with his mouth, and Jinyoung was back to teasing him.

Mark didn't know how much more he could take, with Jinyoung pumping his member as his tongue swirls around the head of it and his other hand constantly brushing over his prostate, it was only a matter of time before Mark became undone. And they haven't even gotten to the main part yet.

Mark was whimpering and softly moaning, as he couldn't be as loud as he wanted to be. He cursed Jinyoung for picking the wrong time to attack him like he did, hoping that the next time Jinyoung is spontaneously horny, Mark wouldn't have to be careful of disturbing the others.

Jinyoung barely ever took his eyes off of Mark's face, wanting to see every facial expression the latter made. Mark's face was flushed and his forehead was sweaty, probably because his body temperature has risen dramatically from how turned on he was. Jinyoung was proud to make his boyfriend be able to look and feel this way, wanting to take a picture to commemorate this moment. Maybe next time though.

Jinyoung pulled his fingers out of Mark, but still pumped his member, as he climbed back up to leave a kiss on his lips. Mark was breathing heavily and moaning against Jinyoung's lips, he could barely focus on the kiss, his body too excited from everything it had experienced.

“You ready?” Jinyoung asked, planting kisses down his neck.

“Jinyoung I-I need to cum already, please do something, _anything_ , just let me cum _please._ ” Mark whined, his orgasm being denied multiple times taking a toll on him.

Jinyoung was a bit surprised, as Mark never really talks like that to him, but tonight seemed to be a first for everyone. First time Jinyoung fucks Mark, first time Mark gets fucked, first time Jinyoung is dominant over Mark, first time Mark begs, first time they have sex on the couch, just a night filled with firsts.

Jinyoung bit his lip as he looked down at the elder, loving the view of how desperate and needy Mark looked. He reached to the floor where he dropped a bottle of lube, undressing himself so he could quickly lube himself up. Mark reached between his legs to jerk himself off and ease some of the pressure in his lower region while Jinyoung was occupied with the lube, but Jinyoung noticed the movement, and slapped Mark's hands away. The elder whined, wanting to touch himself to release the pent up feeling in his groin.

“I'll take care of that, don’t worry.” Jinyoung said as he slicked himself up with the lube.

He moved his lube covered fingers back down to Mark's hole, pushing them in to make sure he would have an easy entrance. Mark groaned, wanting Jinyoung to hurry up, but the younger knew what it felt like to have things move too quickly for the first time, so he wanted to make sure Mark's experience was nearly perfect.

Jinyoung took his own erection in his hand and guided it to Mark's entrance. Mark immediately tensed up, knowing what was going to happen next, and he realized he wasn't all that prepared for it. Jinyoung caressed his thigh, bending down to kiss him gently as reassurance.

Mark squeezed his eyes shut as Jinyoung slowly started to push into him. The glide was easy, but at the same time Mark was tight, which nearly killed both of them. Jinyoung tried his best to slowly fit himself all the way in, but the feeling of Mark clenching around him drove him crazy, making want to just slam into the elder. Mark could feel the shape of Jinyoung's dick inside of him, his mouth hanging open as he tried to get used to the new feeling.

Mark was so aroused that he didn't even really care about adjusting to Jinyoung's length inside of him. He wanted to cum, that's what was on his mind. Jinyoung realized that too once Mark wrapped his legs around the younger and pulled him closer, wanting him to just pound into him already. Jinyoung knew that wasn't a good idea, but it took his all not to comply and just fuck into Mark like they both wanted him to. He took it slowly, making sure Mark got used to the feeling of him moving in and out of his hole.

Mark felt a bit of a stretch once Jinyoung was all the way in, but he immediately started moving and pleasure soon overcame that, leaving him wanting more. Mark didn't know until now how incredible the feeling was of Jinyoung's dick dragging along his walls, sending waves of pleasure through his body as he fucked the elder slowly. He was already moaning softly and they had only just started.

Jinyoung concentrated on his pace, occasionally looking up to Mark's face to see if he was okay, and the look of ecstasy on the elder's face told him that everything was just fine. Jinyoung bent down to Mark's face, kissing the elder as he thrusted a bit harder, knowing that he'd moan loudly so he covered the noise with his own mouth.

“How does it feel?” Jinyoung whispered against the skin of Mark's cheek.

Mark nodded his head, being too enthralled in the way Jinyoung's dick slammed hard into him to give a proper answer to the question. It didn't seem like it was an appropriate time to give Jinyoung's dick a star rating anyway.

Jinyoung was persistent though, seeming to want a full answer. He gripped Mark's hair, not too tightly, but  enough to get Mark's attention, and was met with the elder moaning aloud from the action. Jinyoung was caught off guard, but he realized that he must've found one of Mark's kinks that the latter probably didn't even know he had.

“Hair pulling, hmm?” Jinyoung noted for future reference.

Mark could hear the wet slapping sound of their skin hitting together, gripping onto Jinyoung's arm as he felt Jinyoung's hips rock into him. Jinyoung tugged a bit on Mark's hair, and Mark moaned louder, having to be quieted with another kiss.

“How does it feel, Mark?” Jinyoung asked again against the elders lips, as his hips continued to snap into Mark.

Mark was heavily breathing, unable to completely focus on anything besides the intoxicating feeling of Jinyoung inside if him.

“Good, so good, holy _shit_ …” was all Mark could get out before another moan escaped him.

“You like it?” Jinyoung asked along with another few hard thrusts.

“Yes, yes, oh my- _fuck,_ Jinyoung…” Mark moaned out, unable to get a full coherent sentence out.

Jinyoung was encouraged by every noise Mark made to go in harder and faster, gripping the elder's thighs and pushing them back to give himself a better angle that had Mark drooling. The new angle also allowed Jinyoung to hit Mark's prostate just right, the elder having to bite into a couch pillow to keep himself quiet as his body was wrecked by Jinyoung.

As Jinyoung felt his orgasm building up, he quickened the pace of his thrusts, rolling his hips in and out of Mark quickly and easily. Mark clenched around Jinyoung, the younger groaning at the feeling of Mark's tight hole becoming even tighter around him. Mark's back arched off of the couch, creating a perfect place for Jinyoung to put his hands as he brought the elder to his climax.

Mark tried once again to reach down and pump himself to his orgasm, but Jinyoung prevented it again, pinning Marks hands above his head to avoid him touching himself. Mark whined loudly, and Jinyoung figured that at this point they’ve probably disturbed at least one other member, if not, them all. He didn’t pay any mind to that though, as all he was focused on in the moment was unraveling the man under him.

Jinyoung's thrusts were hard and quick, only taking just a few moments of rocking right into Mark's prostate to have him cumming. Mark's head pressed back into the couch cushions and his back arched even more than it had before as his body shook from his climax. He moaned and whimpered as Jinyoung was still pushing into him while he was becoming undone. Pleasure coursed through him as thick, white spurts of liquid landed on his stomach from his now spent member. He gasped for air as Jinyoung fucked him into oversensitivity, whimpering and whining when it became too much.

Jinyoung was close to his own end though, and just as Mark felt he couldn’t take any more, Jinyoung was coating Mark's insides with his own white substance, the latter shuttering at the feeling of being filled with not only Jinyoung, but also his cum. Jinyoung moaned and grunted as he released himself inside of Mark, bending over to mold their mouths together.

Both of them needed a minute to get themselves together, just kissing each other without moving anything else besides their lips. Mark couldn’t even think after such a mind blowing orgasm, just wanting Jinyoung's mouth against his own. After a few minutes, Jinyoung pulled out, Mark wincing at the over sensitivity of his hole as cum leaked out of it.

Mark was still breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath from everything that had just happened. His mind was finally clearing, and he could actually think straight after such a long time of just mind numbing pleasure. Jinyoung was still kissing him everywhere, even when their lips parted, almost as if he was worshiping Mark's body with his lips.

“Nyoungie… What was _that_ all about?...” Mark asked.

Jinyoung shook his head, kissing Mark's chest and abs. “Nothing, I was just looking at you and I couldn’t help myself.”

Mark blushed at the comment. “J-Just looking at me caused _that_?”

Jinyoung nodded. “I can get a little out of control sometimes…”

Mark shuddered, thinking that if _that_ was Jinyoung a _little_ out of control, what was he like _completely_ out of control? Mark couldn’t imagine it, but hoped that at some point he would experience that side of him too.

“How was it?” Jinyoung asked, when he climbed back up to Mark's face and kissed his ear. “Your first time?” he whispered.

“You already know it isn’t my first time…” Mark mumbled, his cheeks a dark pink.

“It’s the first time that you’ve had anything inside of you… how was it?” Jinyoung asked again.

Mark looked away, a bit embarrassed to give an opinion on how much he liked it. ”Um… it was… good…”

“Good? Only good? Even though you were making the neediest noises-“

“Well then if you know it was so great, why ask me in the first place?” Mark quickly said, cutting the younger off, his red face turning a shade darker.

“Because I want to hear _you_ say it.” Jinyoung said with a smirk.

Mark hesitated, chewing on his lip as Jinyoung stared at him expectantly. “It was… really good… like, _really_ _really_ good… amazing, actually.”

“Amazing?” Jinyoung repeated, a joking tone to his voice.

Mark slapped Jinyoung's shoulder. “Don’t tease me! You wanted me to say it, didn’t you?...”

Jinyoung laughed and bent down to place a kiss on Mark's lips, the elder unable to help himself from smiling into it. They laid there together, their bodies pressed snugly against each other, Jinyoung's head on Marks chest and Mark still on his back where he’d been on the couch the whole time. They enjoyed one another’s presence and warmth, still half naked and messy from earlier, neither of them really caring though. After a bit, Jinyoung suddenly sat up and looked at Mark, who looked back at the younger with a curious expression.

“What?” Mark asked, wondering why Jinyoung was suddenly staring at him.

“You wanna go for round two?” Jinyoung asked, catching Mark off guard.

Mark's face immediately turned red again. “A-Are you horny again? That fast?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “No, but I can get myself there again if I need to.”

Mark's eyes widened at Jinyoung's willingness to do it all over again. “N-No, Nyoungie I think we made enough noise and mess for one night…”

Jinyoung frowned then pouted. “Aw, I was hoping you’d say yes… fine, that just means tomorrow night I can come visit you and we can continue where we left off…” he said, gently pressing a kiss to Mark's lips.

Mark was a bit flustered thinking about what Jinyoung was promising him, turning his head away and covering his face as the younger laughed at his embarrassment. All throughout the next day though, while ignoring the other member’s teasing and complaining about the noise they made, Mark did look forward to later that night, where Jinyoung treated him to that “round two” he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have Jinyoung top smut lol. 
> 
> Hopefully I met everyones wishes and if I didnt I'm sorry!!! I tried my hardest to give everyone a little bit of everything while still staying on track with the story, so I hoped that worked out well.
> 
> I also hoped you all enjoyed my garbage writing and storyline, it seems that a lot of you did, and I'm surprised at how many people were actually captivated in the story lol. Your comments of your thoughts and encouragement makes me wanna write more!! (even tho Idk what to write yet, and I'm trying to focus on one of my ongoing works, but I just want to write something new ssjdnsna)
> 
> My stories are mostly realistic (well I try to be as realistic as possible) but I sorta wanna write something crazy now lol idk I need ideas.
> 
> Anyway, I'm rambling lol, hopefully you enjoyed everything and thank you all so much for reading and commenting, I love the thoughts and conversations you've had over this peice of hot trash lol.
> 
> (Wait omg I suddenly got an idea for a jail au?? Why??? Idk??? I probably won't write it lol it seems too intense but yeah thanks again lol)

**Author's Note:**

> Like I always say at the end, hope it wasnt trash lol.


End file.
